I was home earlier today as I was sent by work to go and see an Occupational Health Dr who took one look at me and I burst into tears! I like the Dr ( for once) and he is concerned I'm at work and that it probably isn't doing me any benefit being there...in fact he said receiving any criticism will knock me even further backwards and really won't do me any good.
My immediate reaction is to prove him wrong and kep working...but on the other hand I don't know or see why I should work hard for a company that really doesn't seem to care what I do for them?
But a positive thought is I'm not back there until Monday, and I have to act a personal photographer for the 'Great Lighthouse Challenge' on Saturday - I think maybe a before and after shot should be good...!
Supposedly I should be seeing my counsellor this evening but she called earlier and has a bad case of flu - hopefully nothing to do with pigs! She feels it isn't fair to see anyone while se feels so bad and I'm in total agreement. We did have a quick chat so I filled her in with my latest news - and we've rescheduled for next Thursday, I'm looking forward to chatting to her again - she has a wonderful ability to make me feel much better and not so mad/insane. I just wish my family and people who know mecould understand a little of what I'm going through - I'd like them to realise how scared I feel most of the time. I really don't like the world I'm trapped in at the moment.
I have been told I am a good listener :)
ReplyDeleteHeather
ReplyDeleteNone your friends will understand unless it happens to them, work for me is a god send as I only get depressed late in evening, At work I can chat but from 6 onwards I’m on my own and just start to think about things that happen to me the last few years. This does not help as I get more and more depressed. Things have happed to friends mine and I think I’m to blame even thought I know I’m not but in my head late at night I think I am . Was told by one friend I was paranoid. But they don’t know what it like and they seemed to taken easy option of not wanting to talk to me.