Nerves kicking in...

Tomorrow is the big day when I'm back at work for the first time since the end of November last year. I have mostly loved the time I have been able to spend with Mikey, and now I'm having to leave him again...For the third time in his life, but there is no way we can afford for me not to work. I'm just grateful that we have found Debbie and he is so happy with her. It makes things so much easier for me knowing he is with someone I trust and who I know will do her best for him as he grows up...I believe her first challenge is going to be potty training! The only problem she may have is he often pops into the bathroom when I'm on the loo, but that doesn't really teach him much about his physical make up!!

 Another problem I'm having right now is my usual lack of self confidence. I have proved at both URS and CSL that I am more than capable of doing the job, but at the moment I have the horrible shadowy voice lurking behind me whispering into my ear that I'm going to make a huge mess, just as everyone who knows me would expect me to. I was never so lacking in self confidence before being ill...in fact a colleague who gave me my system training when I joined Norfolkline told me that I had an ability to talk about things I didn't  know and yet sound confident and believable. (At the time I was trying to train a temp who could speak German but had no idea what chasing people for payment involved.) We eventually decided that I would draft e-mails etc in English and she translated them into German and we did well like that until it was decided that her face 'didn't fit' and I was pushed into taking on a permanent staff member I didn't want (and who I eventually managed out of the job - not something I am proud of, but meant when someone tried to do it to me I knew what was going on.) If someone could sent me an imp to sit on my shoulder who will tell me on a loop that I am perfectly able to do this...

Thankfully our major Snow Event didn't really happen in Ashford!! Poor Folkestone seemed to be hammered as did Medway, but as the gritters have now been out all day I'm hoping that the M20 will stay open and ice free for tomorrow! The trip home could be a bigger challenge as Operation Stack is on as Northern France has also had a fairly substantial snow event which has led to eurotunnel cancelling their trains today and the gales/storms in the channel have also meant lorries being delayed over here, plus there was a problem actually getting them into Dover to go through to the Port.

I only went as far as Sainsbury's today, Mikey came with me and was not impressed that his hands got cold! (Terrible Mummy forgot his mittens) plus the store had closed the entrance on the parent & child carpark side and walking around to the opposite entrance meant taking on a kind of windtunnel to get in...I have no idea what the wind chill factor was there - but it was colder than England is meant to be! But rather than following the sheep and stockpiling bread and milk, I needed baby wipes! I did get some more bread as I know we will run out before the end of the week, plus I had to restock the chocolate stash!