One of the suggestions from my thereapy is to write a daily blog/diary and get unwelcome and/or negative feelings out of my head and to then burn it to obtain closure and release from them...somehow I think there is a limited number of times where our insurance will pay out for a new latop if I burn this one!
We joined the mad cyclists for lunch the Tickled Trout today... My jacket potato and Tuna was delicious and Batty cleared up my tomatoes for me - another couple were there with their new Puppy...a Labradoodle called Tessa who Tina offered to puppysit whist they ate their lunch...
She was totally gorgeous and just made me want a dog even more. I remember during my time studying or my A-levels our dog was the one 'person' I could talk to about anything and everything. She would sit on my bed whilst I poured my heart out to her, usually with her head on one side, looking as if she understood every word I was saying.
I could really do with a dog to do that now - and as Batty put it, to provide unconditional love and affection. I really feel that a loving pet would help me get through this thing I'm fighting right now, I need the love without the questions that they cn give along with the companionship. Especially as it looks more and more unlikely I'll ever have a baby, I'll baby my dog instead and maybe it won't hurt as much as it does right now - I would settle for it being less painful as it is rather than feeling as though I'm constantly being stabbed in the back by life.
NOt sure what we're doing for the rest of today...I think I may have a quick afternoon nap - I am feeling totally exhausted most of the time at the moment. It would really help if I could get rid of this headache, but the next stage for me is a referral back to Neurology on 23rd July, thankfully in Ashford rather than Canterbury this time. I have a feeling there will be a delay as they will want my notes from Canterbury and I guess I'll have to refuse to have a Lumbar Puncture again...
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