I'm really not designed for hot weather...I got into my car this afternoon and it said it was 34 C... This is England - we don't do temperatures that high for days at a time and this is forecast to last for a while - I have a feeling I'll start melting and I'll need hugging like a candle to stop me turning into a puddle of wax!
I had my first appointment with my psychologist today. He was a really nice bloke and taked a whole load of sense... it turns out the damage done to my brain last year can take up to 5 years to heal and settle down and start to work in the way I want it too. WHilst I'm waiting for it to rewire itself I am going to be different to how I was (which for me means a whole lot more emotional) and explains why I have no self confidence and why I'm being far to harsh and critical with myself. He also said the brain is a paradoxical macine and the harder you try to avoid or control something the more likely it is to happen (again - me being emotional - the more I try to stop it the worse I get)
Looks like I'll get 10 sessions of one on one therapy and also CBT but there is a 6 month waiting list so it won't happen until 2010. But in the meantime he's sending me some web sites to look at that may well help me, I'm relieved he's outting everything in writing for me as I'm sure I've forgotten a load of what he said. One thing I do know is I'm going to avoid quicksand! He's also suggested I should record all my emotions etc in a journal... I'm not exactly sure here is the right place to do that..maybe pen and paper is better especially if I want to burn it afterwards
Yes, when I have been very upset over something I have found it helps to write it down. It isn't necessary for anyone else to read it....just writing it seems to help.
ReplyDeleteI am sending you lots of good wishes to prove him wrong and that you will be fighting fit soon. It sounds like you have been poorly far too long and it is time you felt better.