I have finally got the go ahead/all clear to go back to work! I'm back from 9.00 on Monday and for the first 2 weeks I'm just doing half days to break me in gently. I have to admit to feling rather nervous and apprehensive, I didn't want to be off in the first place and everytime I've tried to go back the reply has been no... but the thought of simply walking back into the office makes me feel rather queasy, especially as Sam is no longer there. Basically I've lost my security blanket so I'm going to have to be a big girl and survive all by myself!!!!
The weather is really getting me down at the moment... I'd be happy if winter would start properly as half the time I don't have a clue what to wear as it can get almost warm some afternoons. I'd like a real winter morning where I can wear a scarf and gloves without feeling totally over dressed! There is a real disadvantage with my car having an aluminimum Gear knob - it can feel so cold! And I am officially a complete wuss so cold gear knobs are a real no no when I'm trying to be awake enough to drive to Dover!
Saturday, 28 November 2009
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Rememberence Day and thinking too much
It must be the time of the year but I've just been thinking far to much... 10 years ago I really didn't picture myself 'here'. In my mind I would have at least one child by now, probably 2 and they'd both be at school. Instead I don't even have 1 and there is no sign of me having one any time soon and to say the clock is ticking is a huge understatement. I want to be able to enjoy and be pary of my children growing up - I don't want them to be embarrassed by their old mother and not wanting to bring friends home....
Maybe I also want to be in a totally different career - I only wish I knew what!!! All I know is I know it isn't credit control!!! If I could I'd love to find something I could do in child care. I know the pay isn't great but I think I need job satisfaction right now - something I haven't had for years. I'd love a job that I could go home from feeling I had had a good, successful day and had achieved everything I wanted to each day... do jobs like this actually exist in the real world?
Perhaps this is my warning to stop thinking so much... But at the moment it is the main thing I have to do, making plans fills up a whole load of time!
Maybe I also want to be in a totally different career - I only wish I knew what!!! All I know is I know it isn't credit control!!! If I could I'd love to find something I could do in child care. I know the pay isn't great but I think I need job satisfaction right now - something I haven't had for years. I'd love a job that I could go home from feeling I had had a good, successful day and had achieved everything I wanted to each day... do jobs like this actually exist in the real world?
Perhaps this is my warning to stop thinking so much... But at the moment it is the main thing I have to do, making plans fills up a whole load of time!
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Angry of Ashford...
I'm still slowly trying to get my head around the idea of me and diabetes and looking carefully at everything I eat to check how much sugar may or may not be lurking somewhere within it... It really isn't fun but at least I should start eating a little more healthily now!
I went over to see my parents today to get some presents for some friends in Norfolk as they are going up this weekend and can deliver them for us (saves on postage and worrying about strikes etc) We went to a local shopping centre and Dad offered to buy lunch while we were out, the food court wasn't really an option, Jacket Potatoes are too high in sugar (??), Subway have too many carbs, Burger King and KFC are just out so we decided to try the Cafe in Sainsburys.
Once we'd made it up stairs and fought through the OAP's the menu was anything you wanted so long as it was fried! There were a couple of sandwiches, on white bread of course, but salad or pasta...dream on!! Anyone with any kind of dietary limitations was buggered so we retreated to M&S and bought a couple of salads and then went back to Mum and Dads and ate there! Dad has aso decided that M&S have a superior type of queue, but the assistants should slow down to allow customers to finish any converations before interupting them to actually serve then!!
I was good today and bough my Poppy from a very nice ex-serviceman, WWII I think who assured me that once he had pinned my poppy on there was no way I could lose it like I normally do!
One other thing I meant to do today was find a book on diabetes as my wonderful GP doesn't seem too keen on telling me too much...the consultant I saw yesterday has told me I should be monitoring it closely and testing mysef every day. Apparently my GP should have told me this and have given me the meter to use - I saw my GP yesterday to be told I have to see the nurse about this rather than a Dr...I have an appointment with her on the 13th so I'll carry on floundering around in the meantime. Hopefully I can't get anything too wrong in the meantime!!!
I went over to see my parents today to get some presents for some friends in Norfolk as they are going up this weekend and can deliver them for us (saves on postage and worrying about strikes etc) We went to a local shopping centre and Dad offered to buy lunch while we were out, the food court wasn't really an option, Jacket Potatoes are too high in sugar (??), Subway have too many carbs, Burger King and KFC are just out so we decided to try the Cafe in Sainsburys.
Once we'd made it up stairs and fought through the OAP's the menu was anything you wanted so long as it was fried! There were a couple of sandwiches, on white bread of course, but salad or pasta...dream on!! Anyone with any kind of dietary limitations was buggered so we retreated to M&S and bought a couple of salads and then went back to Mum and Dads and ate there! Dad has aso decided that M&S have a superior type of queue, but the assistants should slow down to allow customers to finish any converations before interupting them to actually serve then!!
I was good today and bough my Poppy from a very nice ex-serviceman, WWII I think who assured me that once he had pinned my poppy on there was no way I could lose it like I normally do!
One other thing I meant to do today was find a book on diabetes as my wonderful GP doesn't seem too keen on telling me too much...the consultant I saw yesterday has told me I should be monitoring it closely and testing mysef every day. Apparently my GP should have told me this and have given me the meter to use - I saw my GP yesterday to be told I have to see the nurse about this rather than a Dr...I have an appointment with her on the 13th so I'll carry on floundering around in the meantime. Hopefully I can't get anything too wrong in the meantime!!!
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
A Diagnosis
Had an appointment with the practice Nurse this afternoon and I am now oficially a diabetic. I know it isn't earthshattering or lifethreatening but right now I'm not handling it that well. I just seem to be having one thing after another and I am totally fed up. The stupid woman told me to lose weight...what on earth does she think I've been trying to do?? It really doesn't help when one of the pills I was on actualy makes you put weight on - it was one hell of a struggle just to keep my weight constant. Thankfully I'm now off that but it still isn't easy to shift the weight. It feels like a battle I can never win
Right now my diabetes is being treated with yet more pills... and one of the others I take has been doubled. I really am going to rattle even more than usual based on what I have to take every day. It really doesn't feel like living with all these chemicals inside me... I've had enough.
Right now my diabetes is being treated with yet more pills... and one of the others I take has been doubled. I really am going to rattle even more than usual based on what I have to take every day. It really doesn't feel like living with all these chemicals inside me... I've had enough.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Quiet
Life has been remarkably quiet recently, except for when I decide to start coughing...then it is anything but quiet as between coughs I'm trying to get some air back into my lungs!!
I've finally finished the horse pills that the Dr gave me, but I'm back there tomorrow as the headaches are still rather nasty. Maybe not worse but seeing as I'm not allowed the co-codamol and Tramadol the hospital sent me home with anymore and paracetamol don't touch them I need something else to keep operating - last night I was back to wanting to dril holes in my head as the pain was so bad. The neurologist did suggest some epilepsy drug to try to reduce the pain but I can't remember the name and my Occupational therapist as kept the letters from both neurologists....
Tuesday is yet another trip to the Dr Surgery to see the Diabetes nurse - hopefully this time they will make a decision one way or the other. It is simple to say I am now totally fed up with all the messing around and indecision - I want a straight forward yes or no and then some advice/instructions on what I'm meant to do. Or is that too much to ask from the NHS????
I've finally finished the horse pills that the Dr gave me, but I'm back there tomorrow as the headaches are still rather nasty. Maybe not worse but seeing as I'm not allowed the co-codamol and Tramadol the hospital sent me home with anymore and paracetamol don't touch them I need something else to keep operating - last night I was back to wanting to dril holes in my head as the pain was so bad. The neurologist did suggest some epilepsy drug to try to reduce the pain but I can't remember the name and my Occupational therapist as kept the letters from both neurologists....
Tuesday is yet another trip to the Dr Surgery to see the Diabetes nurse - hopefully this time they will make a decision one way or the other. It is simple to say I am now totally fed up with all the messing around and indecision - I want a straight forward yes or no and then some advice/instructions on what I'm meant to do. Or is that too much to ask from the NHS????
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Urgh
I was stumped for words for a title today, but Urgh pretty much sums up how I'm feeling.
I'm still taking the horsepills and coughing well... I managed to wake myself and Andy up with a coughing fit at 3am yesterday morning plus I've started my new anti depressants which wonderfully knock me out at night, but do make waking up the following morning a bit of a challenge to be brutally honest! I took them for the first time Tuesday night and woke up at 11.30 on Wednesday and felt a bit like a zombie all day! Last night I took the pill at 8.30 as I needed to be in Canterbury by 10.15. I made the appointment but I'm not going to claim I was totally awake!! But driving was ok and both Bob and I are in one piece still!
The appointment in Canterbury was to see the Occuaptional Therapist used by work. He is of the opinion that I'm still not fit at work,but I am getting better and I'm possibly on the right medication now! Apparently the new anti depressant may also help kill off my headache once I get up to the right level (I'm only halfway there right now)
This week is also National Chocolate Week...I can't remember where I read this bit in Heather World a National Chocolate week can happen as often as it wants to! Unfortunately I only have Malteasers here and right now I seem to be going off them (the manufacturers shoudl really be given an urgent warning!) But I am trying to be good and am doing my Wii Fit every day - I'm sticking with the step class right now as I enjoy it and I think it must be helping my balance! Although I am all to aware of the problems I still have...
I'm still taking the horsepills and coughing well... I managed to wake myself and Andy up with a coughing fit at 3am yesterday morning plus I've started my new anti depressants which wonderfully knock me out at night, but do make waking up the following morning a bit of a challenge to be brutally honest! I took them for the first time Tuesday night and woke up at 11.30 on Wednesday and felt a bit like a zombie all day! Last night I took the pill at 8.30 as I needed to be in Canterbury by 10.15. I made the appointment but I'm not going to claim I was totally awake!! But driving was ok and both Bob and I are in one piece still!
The appointment in Canterbury was to see the Occuaptional Therapist used by work. He is of the opinion that I'm still not fit at work,but I am getting better and I'm possibly on the right medication now! Apparently the new anti depressant may also help kill off my headache once I get up to the right level (I'm only halfway there right now)
This week is also National Chocolate Week...I can't remember where I read this bit in Heather World a National Chocolate week can happen as often as it wants to! Unfortunately I only have Malteasers here and right now I seem to be going off them (the manufacturers shoudl really be given an urgent warning!) But I am trying to be good and am doing my Wii Fit every day - I'm sticking with the step class right now as I enjoy it and I think it must be helping my balance! Although I am all to aware of the problems I still have...
Saturday, 10 October 2009
I have a reason for feeling ill now!
I woke up yesterday feeling even worse than the last few days, so remembering promises I made my Mum & Sister I phoned the Dr and got an appointment for the morning. I had in minor panic as I couldn't recall if the receptionist set 10 to or 10 past 10 so I got there in time for the earlier just in case! As it turned out I didn't get in until 10.30 so the timing was fairly irrelevant!!!
Saw the Dr who listened to my lungs and my coughing and promptly decided I have Bronchitis and need antibiotics... I picked the drugs up from the onsite pharmacy but didn't look at them until I got home... My first thought was do I take them or insert them somewhere!! They are enormous...possibly meant for horses. But only 6 days to go and a week later I should be feeling fine - apparently it usually lasts for 2 weeks...
![]()
Had to give the trip to Eastbourne a miss today...changes in temperature really aren't good amd the coughing leaves me exhausted, but I'm sure medicinal icecream would have been fantastic!I'll be there next time...I hhave yet to experience the ice cream shop!!
Saw the Dr who listened to my lungs and my coughing and promptly decided I have Bronchitis and need antibiotics... I picked the drugs up from the onsite pharmacy but didn't look at them until I got home... My first thought was do I take them or insert them somewhere!! They are enormous...possibly meant for horses. But only 6 days to go and a week later I should be feeling fine - apparently it usually lasts for 2 weeks...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)