Problem No. 1

Sunday night was a whole lot easier than I expected...but it turned out to be the calm before the storm! Michael and I were very bad and he spent most of the night sleeping on a pillow besde me in bed - but the Midwife on duty was checking up on us very frequently and I was so tired all I wanted to do was sleep!

As the morning went on I was amazed how quiet Michael was and how little he complained about anything, he certainly wasn't demanding food at any time which did start to worry me slightly. Eventually a Dr came to have a look at him, not sure who called him in but as it turns out it was the right move... His resp rate was too fast and they were concerned he didn't want to eat. He was whisked away for some blood tests and an X-ray...Andy went with him as I couldn't face seeing needles being jabbed into my baby.

Eventually the Dr returned with a couple of midwives/nurses and it was 'suggested' that he could do with an overnight stay in the Special Baby Care Unit. I tried to keep calm but it really wasn't easy. How dare they suggest that there was a problem with my baby??? Thankfully we had a wonderful nurse looking after me at that point, she just hugged me which was exactly what I needed at that point. About 20 minutes after Micheal was wheeled away she took both of us over to see him. Luckily it was very close to where I was and I was ready to get away from the ward as the bed opposite me had about 10 visitors making one hell of a noise, including a small child screaming constantly. My one redeeming thought was how much bigger than all the other babies Michael was, plus he was still in his plastic tray/crib and not an incubator. If they had put him in one of those I think I would have grabbed him and run.

The Special care nurse looking after him was lovely, and after I'd been moved to a side room that evening came in to find me and I was back in the unit that night feeding and cuddling him. That hardest thing for me was the thought that I felt sidelined - he wasn't my baby any more and had muh better/higher qualified people looking after him so didn't need me anymore.

From what I'd been told I was expecting Michael back on Tuesday morning...unfortunately that didn't happen as he started to turn orange  - Jaundice. I also had this when I was born so by Tuesday afternoon he was esconced under a blue light with a mask over his eyes. By now I was stating to get closer to freaking out again...I remembered Andy getting 'annoyed' when I was ill 2 years ago - I went in with one thing and they kept finding more, which seemed to be what was happening with Michael.

By Wednesday the light had gone and Michael was moved into a different nursery - basically a HDU rather than ITU where he'd started. This made me feel slightly better until the consultant started talking about a 5 day antibiotic course which would keep him until Friday. I also managed to  get really wound up by a midwife which resulted in me phoning Andy in a total panic and he had to come in and calm me down again...we both retreated to SCBU and just cuddled Michael - always a good thing. I think I got back to the ward just after midnight but was back in the SCBU just after 7 the following morning. I don't think I left there much after that - until I finally let a midwife examine me. The next thing I knew a Dr was checking me and I was then prescribed horsepill sized antibiotics as I had an infection and was running myself down as well.

Thankfully my wonderful staff nurse was back on duty and she kept both Andy and I sane for the next couple of days - especially when she told me my nemesis was not going to be on duty again that week. She got very good at finding me on SCBU when she needed to inject me or force me to take my horsepills!

By Saturday morning I was beginning to feel that we were never getting away - from the beginning of my pregnancy I'd been having nightmares where the hospital refused to let me take the baby home. It was starting to feel more and more real/likely and I was terrified. But the consulatant on duty over the weekend felt Michael was nearly ready to go (he had another session under the blue lights but his bilirubin levels started to fall nicely!) and I shoudl do one more night on the unit 'rooming in' once a room was free. Unfortunately no other baby got discharged so I stayed out where I was. By Sunday I was allowed to take him back with me to the ward to room in there with a view to going home on Monday!!!! I had the biggest grin ever at that point and poor Dr Martin nearly got flattened with a hug!

I can honestly say I hardly slept on Sunday night, I as far to busy watching Michael! I was totally packed by 6.30 Monday morning and ready to go home! All I needed was Michael to be checked and me discharged! Michael was 'done' by 11.00 and the Drs decided I was allowed to go - we then just waited to get my notes etc back and at 12 were told it would be 10-15 minutes... we left at about 1pm! But without the remainder of my antibiotics - Andy had to go back in the afternoon to pick those up! But Michael seemed to enjoy being in the car - no screaming or crying and we mastered fitting the seat fairly easily!

All Change for the next heaven knows how many years!

On 20th June at 17.44 our son arrived! Michael Andrew Zerfahs weighed in at 7lbs 12 oz or 3510g.

The induction on the 19th worked very well, when it was done I was told they may have to repeat it on Sunday morning, but at 3am (it had to be!!!) my waters broke just as I got out of bed to go to the loo. Apparently this is quite rare as it was a real 'film moment' as I stood there leaking! I was fairly nice and waited until 4am before phoning Andy to tell him that things were underway and he might want to head into the hospital. I was very aware that it wasn't going to happen too quickly but being a coward I really was not enjoying the start of contractions and I wanted someone else there with me as I went through them!

I survived the contractions until just before lunch when I started demanding an epidural... I got gas and air which I really didn't like and was told they would sort out better pain relief once the bloke had finished in theatre. Pregnant women are not a priority and seeing as it was a Sunday I can only assume there must have been a real emergency!

Labour is a strange thing,  was very aware of time passing but not how much really! People kept rying to give me food but I really was not interested in the slightest, Andy was encouraged to help me drink (as if he needs to be told to do that!) and Mel and Angela produced a straw to help him pour liquid into me! One thing I do remember is trying to get off the bed plus I tried to lock myself in a toilet for some reason... I did tell Angela I wouldn't give birth in there but the idea did start to appeal to me! I also had an overwhelming desire to lie on my right side - a big no no as the baby apparently doesn't like it, I think that was the point I just wanted to stop the whole thing and go back to bed for a nap and some peace and quiet!

Luckily I've managed to read the labour notes as I can't remember most of what happened in the afternoon...I vaguely remember being told about STAN which is some sort of computer which measures the baby through a clip placed on their head. A little easier to cope with when compared to the monitor I'd been attached to all day which as I wriggled kept losing the baby heartbeat etc.

Actually having the baby was tough...it turned out his head was a little on the large side and STAN kept warning of a few problems/issues. It was decided to use the Dyson to suck him out in the end - I had been moaning for a while that I was too tired to do the pushing thing anymore...At this point the room gained a Dr and another midwife which meant it felt decidedly crowded in there! Andy did vanish for a minute and returned waving a bar of Galaxy at the end of the bed. Much as I love him it was going to take a much bigger bar than that to make me keep pushing! I would think Star Trek technology shoul be worked on...transporting babies out of the womb would make the whole thing much easier/less painful and a whole lot less messy!

Once Michael had been sucked out I really have no idea what happened next!!!! I think I got injected to help the placenta to be delivered - and I did get a glimpse of it, not sure about Andy though! But once I'd had a baby placed in my arms I really didn't care what happened so long as nobody tried to take him away!

Mid week...

I will admit that this week is really dragging... but yesterday I did think things might be moving but as per usual I was wrong! I woke up feeling very rough and kept getting a horrible pain across he bottom ot the bump - nothing else happened at all other than me just feeling cruddy (which I feel should be an official medical term!) and my blood sugar stayed low all day...not like me at all to be honest!

I also seem to be practising not sleeping again, I was up at 2.30 for the first bathroom trip of the day and it carried on from there. To keep this 'clean' it's safest to say I seem to be clearing out...which from our NCT class is to be expected but it is not something I'm enjoying (it still seems to be continuing today :( as well) All I want now is for this to start and get it done to be honest...

The local school seems to have had it's sports day today, and someone gave the PA to a very loud teacher, by mid afternoon I was seriously considering gatecrashing and stuffing his microphone somewhere that would hopefully make less noise! I've been very aware all day that the Blue team weren't doing very well whilst Red appear to have run away with things. 1 chil did manage to get hold of the microphone at one point and told his Mum that he loved her which was sweet, but the teacher got it back and carried on telling all the Kids to keep trying harder...

One thing I have oticed at the moment is I really don't have much patience with anything or anyone (sorry Andy) Whilst I still can I'm blaming hormones as I can't think of any other reasonfor being so grumpy right now (other than feeling so uncomfortable)  Another thing that really isnt me is I realised yesterday it's only 20 odd days until my birthday - and I just can't get excited about it at all. To be honest I almost feel like not bothering with it this year...

Final Countdown....

Well it's now just a week to go... Saw my midwife this morning and got the OK from her - although it was tough finding the baby's heatbeat as I was having a Braxton Hicks contraction at the time so she couldn't feel where the baby was! But she found it after I ended up flat on the floor...I really do resemble a beached whale in that position!! Thankfully I'm now 3/5 engaged so the baby is heading in the right direction all on his own, if I got into labour naturally this week Andy will not be a happy bunny, so far as he is concerned this baby is not due to make any kind of appearance until 23rd June and not a minute before!

We took the easy option for lunch and headed over to Chimneys... it was very good not to have to cook or tidy up afterwards and I got to eat what I wanted rather than what I should! But I DIDN'T have a dessert so I'm feeling very self rightous!! There was a small lecture from Nicki (the midwife) this morning about keeping up the good work for the last week to ensure the baby doesn't go into insulin over production once he is born - no way do I want to risk him being born with sugar cravings and have to go into the special care unit.

Once home I was rather torn...it was either a nap or I was feeling a real need to bake something! The baking won and I've made some scones...no cream available but I'm sure we have some jam somewhere! I have to admit that at the moment I'm more thirsy that hungry...probably due to having a baby squashed bladder which results in frequent trips to the bathroom as he objects to my bladder being filled at all! I must admit that being pregnant has taught me an awful lot more about my body than I knew before, even taking into account everything I've seen/learnt since 2008!

My ambition for 2011 is not to learn anymore about my physical make up! Plus I'm hoping that my trip to the neurologist on 1th July will result in me being signed off from his care as well! I know I haven't lost the weight he wanted me to, but hopefully I'll have a wonderful reason/excuse in a pushchair for not doing so... the last time I saw him I think I was literally 'just' pregnant so as far as I was concerned I was intending to lose more weight... but midwives don't like you to lose too much and get jumpy if you do!!!

Becoming more real...

Andy had a day off today so this morning I phoned the hospital to try to get a tour of the labour/maternity wards sorted out. It took a while to get hold of the midwife I needed to talk to but as it was only 2 of us it was quickly agreed we could go straight in to have a look!

Once we got buzzed into the delivery suite we met a very nice lady, I have no idea what her name is but unfortunately she isn't on duty next weekend. At least we now know where we are going and it has been suggested we arrive at nearer to 7.45 as 7.30 is handover time and no Drs/Consultants will be around to decide how they are going to proceed once we're there! The delivery rooms look really nice and actually quite comfortable, they are painted either green, yellow or lilac...I'd prefer any except the last! Bit too feminine for me to be honest and far too close to pink! It is also reassuring how close the rooms are to the theatre bit if they are needed for any reason (I'm hoping I won't get to see that bit at all! - Although I would like to see Andy dressed in scrubs!)

Once we'd had a quick look in Maternity (it was pretty much full!) we retired to the coffee shop as I was hungry and aching! The midwife had been a little concerned I was going to start something early but to be honest at the moment every part of me aches and is extremely painful... he is great at sticking his elbows out as he spins on his head...bless him! I just hope he doesn't miss the spinning sensation too much! As I have no idea how we can even hope to recreate that for him once he's out...and I'm sure Health Visitors will frown upon head spinning as well!

My main feeling right now is how close and real it is all feeling now... but having seen a very pregnant woman walking up the hospital car park dragging a toddler by the hand whilst smoking heavily I've decided I am more than capable of doing this - and all I want to do now is cuddle my baby for the first time. I'm not sure if anyone else will be allowed to, I may let Andy have a cuddle, but I've been waiting for years for this to happen and having thought it never would I know I'm going to have real trouble ever letting go of him...

The end is in sight....

It was Tuesday therefore it must be Ante natal clinic day! Andy had got the morning off to go with me - lucky really seeing as he's still driving my car around at the moment!! We got to the William Harvey just after 9.00 as I was doing my usual Tuesday morning wait for a blood test thanks to the ACC clinic! Amazingly they extracted my blood in time for me to check in at the Radiology desk for my 10.00 scan! Also, as per usual, we had to plod/waddle down to maternity for it - not nice when I know there are 2 machines nextoor to the clinic I was due back in during the morning!

The scan happened pretty much as soon as we got there and thankfully I didn't have ot have an internal one as was threatened! The placenta was found and has been classed as 'clear' which no doubt has added to Andy's notion that it resembles a jelly fish! Once we'd removed all the jelly from the bump it was time to waddle back to the clinic in Area A where I was quickly seen by the midwife...Blood pressure and Urine sample both fine and I have put a little weight on - but only what is expected! Well actually slightly less than they would expect so they were quite happy with me!

THe main thing that happens at the clinic is lots of waiting! But we got called by the Dr fairly quickly. Grumpy had a whinge about how long it take me to move... I'm getting better at ignoring it now! This was yet another new Dr to me and I pushed for an answer about when I was expected to hve this baby...Thankfully she wa sympathetic and we hve now been booked in to be induced on the 20th June! Father's Day - does this mean I don't have to buy Andy a present????? He He!!

I saw the Diabetes Team shortly after the Dr, and they are still pleased with me and the progress we've made! My HbA1c results have stayed at 6 for the last few months and I've avoided the need to be put on insulin and stayed on tablets! I'm now feeling rather proud of myself...

Overheating

If I'm honest I've been dreading today most of this week...for once the Met office are right and it is 'Warm' (to quote the smug forecaster on BBC1 in his airconditioned studio) As my midwife has been telling me since November I am currently running at a degree or so hotter than I would normally and as such Warm weather makes me feel decidedly uncomfortable, grumpy and very short tempered (sorry to anyone who has been around me today, I'm really not nice to live with at the moment)

As usual Andy had the Gro Egg hermometer thing in our bedroom last night, when I gave up and went to bed it was glowing orange but quickly switched to red and it was 24.5 c in there - far too hot for me to sleep and it will be far to hot for a baby too. Does anyone have any ideas how we are supposed to cool the bedroom down? We had both windows wide open and a fan going but neither seemed to be helping...

Once I finally dragged myself out of bed this morning I went straight into the nursery and started sorting some of the boxes of clothes out... it is really scary getting all this ready but after my couple of hours of contractions on Wednesday I'm really starting to realise that the arrival is getting closer and closer and we need to be ready (or as ready as I ever will be) sooner rather than later! I've even more or less packed the imfamous hospital bag - but I will have a chat with Nicki next Sunday about what should really be in there! Knowing me I've stuffed a load of things in that I won't need at all while I'm in hospital! It looks as though I won't be in that long as they tend to get you out asap once the baby has arrived! I just need to make sure it isn't before the 9th June as we wont get the car seat until then so couldn't bring the baby home!!!

The moses basket has now arrived but isn't actually here yet...probably a good thing as we on't have space in our bedroom at the moment! I think a load more clothes are going to get vaccuum packed and end up in the loft to clear the spac that is currently my Floordrobe! Once the temperature goes down I'll get stuck into clearing/sorting that, but at the moment there is no chance of it happening as I'm exhausted within minutes and when I get that tired the bump retaliates! Which he has just done...how did he know I was writing about him????? This is getting spooky!

A waiting day...week...etc

I have been meaning to update over the last few days but for some reason I simply haven't got around to it - not through being rushed off my feet but more down to being totally exhausted all the time.

I think the party went well on Saturday, it was so nice to actually see people for once! Much as I wasn't enjoying work towards to end it did at least mean I saw people every day...OK, most of them didn't talk to me but they were still company! It was also good to have a laugh at the expense of Europe, I know many (most) European countries take the contest a little more seriously that the UK does and the political voting still makes me chuckle, but it was good to watch with a group of friend who treat the who thing with the disrespect I feel it deserves!!!

Sunday morning arrived far too quickly and the painting in the nursery started and the clearing out of the kitchen, until 11.00 when my midwife arrived. The bump and I got a clean bill of health  - what was really amazing was how 'normal' my blood pressure was!! The baby partly helped when Nicki was listening to his heartbeat but then moved so it vanished totally! Bless him!

I'm still being woken in the early hours of every morning...usually to dash into the bathroom before someone goes into wriggle mode which means falling asleep again isn't going to happen! I was contemplating my ankles at 4.32 on Monday morning mainly as I could see ankles rather than cankles for once! This morning I was woken at 3.10am and I had intended ot have an afternoon nap, but Mum & Dad popped in so that went out of the window!!! Maybe I'll try to have an early night and hope I get a few hours before the bladder bouncing starts again! Even Andy could feel hw violent the movements were last night - I can honestly say I feel bruised at the moment and I can't wait to get through the next 3 weeks!!!