Monday...

I'm not sure what is going on at the moment...all I know is I'm scared. I have no idea of what or why, but this morning on the motorway I was close to full blown panic. On the way home a van driver was very close as we were going through the variable speed limit and I was close to tears.

Once we were out of the variable limit I stuck in the inside lane - basically I felt to scared to pull out to overtake anyone...looking back at cars in the middle lane they just seemed to be travelling to fast for me to risk trying to move lanes.

I was ok once I'd parked the car and got back into the house...well a little better, I still can't switch off and relax and I feel really tense...as if I'm on the verge of something horribly bad happening.

Not sure if Mikey has picked up on how I'm feeling but for the last few days he has been a total nightmare plus he's slapped me, Nanny and Auntie Nicky accross the face. I think he's seen too much Tom and Jerry and has yet to realise that humans don't bounce back in the way they do! So at the age of 3 the cat and mouse are now on the banned list. Much as I moan about Disney Junior at least none of their shows have any violence in the way T & J do....

Right now I really don't know how to deal with him...maybe he hasn't got the sort of stability he wants, but we can't afford for me not to work. But if me working is going to damage Mikey I'll have to rethink things...

PLEASE COULD SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO? I'm fed up with crying myself to sleep and feeling so useless as a Mother.