Thoughts

 My insomnia is simply not going away. I am exhausted and appear to be totally unable to turn my brain off at the time I should be dead to the world and giving myself time to recover from each day.

This weeks thoughts have been decidedly varied - Monday morning at 4am I decided that I need to learn how to tap dance...Lucky for Andy I let him continue snoring rather than thumping him awake and filling him in on my latest big idea! Due to our suspended floors I am going to need a large board on the patio to practise on so I don't bring the row of houses down....

Other thoughts have been that I really am not happy living here and all the things I hoped my life would include that can/will never happen for me. I am not happy living where so many people just want me to get on and die. I really wanted more than one child...the one I did manage to produce is, according to me, rather cute, so it appears making people is something I was quite good at.

I also hoped that, by now, I would have a dog as a companion. But I married a man scared of dogs who hates them and is adament that we will not have one. I have a feeling he is hoping I will soon be in a place where I will stop going on about this and leave him in peace. You would have thought he would know what I'm like after 20 years of marriage - but apparently keeping a happy wife is way down his list of priorities. I have even come up with sensible reasons, but they are still being ignored. I'm also fed up that the cats only ever attack/bite me - never him. He is the cat lover, but I'm the one with the scars.

Todays main achievement has been to yell at Amazon Customer Relations...One of the books I bought Andy for Christmas was also bought for him by his brother - I'm not sure how his relatives manage to remove so many things from wish lists without them deleting off... To avoid confusion, we returned the one I bought and Amazon decided it had been sent in addition to the order I made (Totally untrue) and when Andy returned it he was told no refund would be made. I decided I was in exactly the mood to take on the penis flying moron so did! The refund is now being processed along with a 5 pound credit on my account! I did make the bloke I was talking too laugh when I referred to objecting to funding a flying penis as Bezos' rocket really looks like one - he said he couldn't comment but could see where I was coming from!! I'm now exhausted and very tempted to go to bed in the hope I might pass out.

Yesterday I was in the woods - I can honestly say I can't remember ever being that cold! At one point people were almost sitting on the fire! But the atmosphere was great fun and we were all lovely and relaxed - even coping with the news that Karen and Mark are leaving. I hope they have a fantastic time going around the UK, and can't wait to see what ends up on Marks U tube channel! I think there is a chance we may all move into Jo's garden until the new groups - hopefully - receive funding and we can go back to the trees! In the meantime I am just going to try to absorb enough wood energy to keep me going...