fighting another battle

At the end of April I started a really heavy period...or so I thought... But after 3 weeks of me loosing far more blood than ever before plus large, new life form clots, I called my GP who told me to go to A&E! I still have no idea how I walked in there and kept upright while I was checked in! When I was trialed my Bloop Pressure was so low I was told to sit in a wheelchair and not get out!

I was then moved into Majors and put on a bed - again being told not to walk anywhere or else!! To be honest the thought of moving was a very long way away from any of my thoughts; all I wanted was for the world to stop spinning.

My main occupation in A&E was blowing cannula...but they did have an ultrasound so happily dug some more into my arm! I was feeling so weak I didn't kick up any fuss! But I did get fed up being told how pale I was! 

After a gynaecology consultant braved a look at the mess I was I was told that a transfusion had been ordered for me...by 2am I was on a ward  having this blood pumped in slowly. At this time I wasn't aware that transfusions are only done over night in an emergency and that it had to be done slowly as my red cell levels were so low. I don't understand that as basically I was suffocating my organs as oxygen was not being carried round either... I was far more ill than I realised at all!

Once on the ward I had a Dr trying to fit another cannula...I was very good and didn't scream as it was silly o clock in the morning! But that meant whilst the blood went in through my right arm, a drug to try to stop the bleeding went in through the left... That did make sense as I was terrified the blood being put in would just come straight out. I was then left to try to sleep...but there was a load of snoring so that didn't really happen!

KCH

I now need to get over my fear of Kent and Canterbury Hospital. I had my pre surgery assessment today and the nurses can't see any reason why my procedure can't go ahead! I did ask if it could be done in WHH but I was firmly told that all Urology procedures are carried our in Canterbury, however I feel about going back there!

This afternoon I got weighed, measured, heart recorded, blood pressure checked  blood samples taken and other samples provided which are being sent to the lab. So I've already been warned antibiotics and anticoagulant injections will be sent out prior to the operation actually happening. I also have to have 2 LFT tests 3 days before and on the morning. I am hoping I will be in and out in one day...but knowing how I love sleeping after being knocked out I may have to stay overnight! I'd prefer not to as Mikey is terrified I'm going to die in there... I am doing my best to not look worried or scared in anyway near him.

Luckily as his friend is coming over for a BBQ on Sunday there is a distraction...and he is already getting excited about it. I just feel guilty that I'm putting both him and Andy through this...

Spring has crash landed

In theory it is now spring.... Easter has happened, the eggs are in residence but not exactly being eaten!!

Having survived covid I have now moved on to gastroenteritis and have found I am capable of losing a stone a week when I have it! The downside to this is my blood INR is nonlinear stable and is now too low. This purs me at  risk of more clots being created and the fun I am having breathing today is not helping to calm my mind over this!

Mikey has now moved to a new form. On Tuesday (day 1) he came home in a fantastic mood - it was a really good day and he felt happy and relaxed. But then yesterday he came home in tears as someone there had the bright idea of sending him with his previous class to an art lesson rather than repeating a carousel subject he has already covered. This led to one of the morons starting their usual bullying test again.  Obviously I was not happy and promptly tried to get hold of the head or deputy to raise this as a major issue. I will admit I got angry with a pastoral member of staff who tried to calm me down badly, before getting holding the heads PA. Unsurprisingly I still have not spoken to the Head or Deputy (he appears good at avoiding people in the hope they will forget or go away) but have had a call from 1 member if staff at daft o clock this morning.

Basically I am now out of patience as they have had months to try to resolve this problem and are doing nothing to punish those low lives who get away with totally unacceptable behaviour on a constant basis. They really need to learn that their actions have consequences and they will have to deal with them. I have stopped threatening to rip heads off for now...but a day of crying and panic attacks has left me totally drained and liable to start yelling far louder and with many more less palatable results for the school. My job is to protect my child and ensure he is in a safe daily environment so he can receive the education he needs and deserves.

I also have learnt that I am on an elective surgery list. My pre surgery assessment is next week... I am slightly baffled as I was told that the calcified clot by my right Kidney was just going to be left there!! It now appears that it might be removed...I'm just looking forward to a decent sleep for once!  The only other surgery I would be expecting would be the creation of a fistula - but my eGFR is nowhere near low enough for that to be needed yet, so I am looking forward to finding out what they are planning to do!!

We did get some bad news last week...Andys step mother died suddenly. Totally unexpected and a decided shock, thankfully Mikey handled it really well but the mess at school was really not what he needed on top of that news...

horrible mixed up week

This has not been a steady week for me...I am definitely not in warrior mode - it is more a survival attempt.

Tuesday was my usual trip to the ACC clinic ; parking was a challenge. The Nightingale unit had gone  but as I predicted, the car park is having to be resurfaced! So my car pretended to be a helicopter and I finally found a space near the pad. Once inside  as usual, my appointment couldn't be found so I gave up and went to get stabbed and then hunted for The ACC nurse! This week she was in cardiology...and this was my good bit of news!! It appears I have stabilised so I'm now not going back until the end of March!!!

Once I got home Mikey tried to call me but my phone refused to let me answer him. He then called Andy as I think he needed us. After P.E. 2 if his little gang of tormentors pinched his school trousers, threw them into a shower and turned it on. I reacted very calmly on the surface and called school immediately demanding to speak to the head or Deputy. Neither were available, but I spoke to the Heads PA who agreed that this was a very long way from being acceptable and passed me to the pastoral team. They went and made sure Mikey had a letter explaining why he was in his pe kit so he wouldn't get detention, and also assured me that the perps would be dealt with. I was called later and told they would be in isolation the following day and the school are working on moving all of them to different classes.

By the time Mikey got home he was decidedly subdued and it took several hours to cheer him up enough to hope to get him to sleep.

Thankfully Wednesday went OK for him and he seems more like his normal Mikey now! On the other hand I'm struggling as I am meant to be avoiding stress!! This morning I woke up feeling far more sick than I have for a considerable time, plus wobbly was a decided understatement! This meant that I decided I wasn't going to the woods as I did not want to decorate them with vomit, and I'm sure that trying to walk to the camp would not have been successful or a good idea!

On top of the feeling crap I have never felt this tired before. One thought scares me that it is not likely to improve as I continue.

Depression building

Today is extremely tough. I'm shattered from yesterday and my legs feel like jelly - and Rory seems to have reverted to not liking being touched or wanting to be near a human. I've made a start in dinner, but have now collapsed again 😢 Nose bleeds wise I'm now up to 3 for today...these blood thinners are really not making my life any easier and all the time these clots impact me I am still a very long way from going onto the transplant list. Right now knocking me out is just too dangerous and there is a strong chance my lungs could end up scarred making any future surgery far more risky for me. My life basically socks.

Mikey has had an interesting day...I'm his words his main bully is ( I quote) being quite normal for a twat! Now we just have to sort the other 3 or just get them threatened in the same way the Twat was! I just want my happy boy back as it really reduces the stress on me when he is 😇

My main goal this weekend is to finally get Vodafone to sort out my phone. It is still not possible for anyone to call me on it as it still defaults to the home number. Not that I get many calls, but my main pissed off effect is that if I'm not at home, only I can call - nobody can call me. So far as I'm concerned they have broken the contract so I should be able to walk away to a new supplier. Basic Tort law backs me up if they want to get stroppy... so long as I'm sat down I can argue for hours! And the mood I'm in, I will...or alternatively I'll just collapse and bring the shop to a standstill.

Stressed

I am still trying to convince Andy about a dog. There is no way I can just go and get one, I can't work - to be honest at the moment I can't even walk in a straight line. But I need the companionship of a creature that will love me for me and not constantly tell me to shut up.

Right now I just feel unwanted, unneeded and useless. I live in a place where I'm not wanted or valued and I'm just sinking more and more as each day passes. I need to add some kind of value to my existence, simply surviving is not enough for me. I have to fight every day just to keep alive, I need some reward waiting for me, something else for me to live for. 

I know full well that Andy won't bother to read this, but if I don't get it out of my head it is likely to combust with everything fighting for space in it.

alone

I am so over feeling so isolated and alone. I really feel unwanted here along with totally useless. Mikey doesn't need me any more and all Andy does when we are alone is go to sleep or get totally stressed about things beyond his control. Me - all I know is my whole life is beyond my control and I hate it. 

The cats are even avoiding me today, Mikey is playing hockey after school so won't finish until 4. I have retreated to bed to have a cry without disturbing Andy's nap. Why on earth am I still fighting to keep going? I don't want to carry on right now, especially as all I have to look forward to is dialysis which is not well known for making you feel better.

I can't even do any of the hobbies I love at the moment as I just end up getting in somebodies way when I try... I'm not needed or wanted here. Mikey told me off last night for disturbing him too 😭

I'm also not driving much at the moment. We only have 1 car so Andy needs it for picking Mikey up so I can't just get in and drive...

up beat!

Today has gone well!! Nice after the last couple of weeks 😁 To be honest I feel I need to celebrate as I really was not expecting this!!

I saw my Nephrologist this morning and I've managed to push my Kidney function up to 24!! 2 weeks ago I was at 22 and with the stress with Mukey and school I was really expecting it to have dropped...but as usual I have done the opposite to whatever I expected!

Dr Klebe also has a theory that I may have had PE much longer than everyone thinks, this would explain the extreme breathlessness I've had for quite a time, but as usual I just moaned at home and didn't get checked as I couldn't face trying to get through to a GP! At least the Sinthrome should help, but it is going to take longer than the original 3 months quoted as I've already done 4 and haven't improved! So long as they don't reintroduce the injections I'm happy!!

I also remembered to ask about migraine treatment in case that is what Tuesdays scan shows up. Amytriptiline is fine from a kidney point of view so I can tell the GP if that is the result. I would just love to lose the constant pain..

I also asked him to recommend getting a dog...it took a while to convince him I don't want a bag dog so he suggested a spaniel. Unfortunately Andy did not look convinced 😡

The other plus was my BP is behaving perfectly and my iron is acceptable on Epo, but I can cope with that well at the moment! Compared to the anticoagulant injections those needles are fine 🙂 

So I now have 4 months off until the next lit of blood tests...and as my A&E bruises are still in evidence I am avoiding there unless I'm dieing!! And I have no plans to do that at any point in the foreseeable future. 🤣🤣🤣

New month, but little has changed

The main issue at the current time is the Russian invasion of Ukraine. This is putting me on edge as the only impression I have of Putin is that he is totally insane and there is nobody in Russia brave enough to say it out loud.

Earlier this week, while I was making dinner, a helicopter flew over and I went into panic mode. I think the issue was it was low and the last time we were flown over at that height it was an attack helicopter.

I'm also on edge as Mikey is still having to cope with a group of 4 imbecilic bullies. I have basically thrown all my toys out of my pram and told the school I am not sitting back and accepting this and something MUST be done. If not I'm bringing the big guns in as this is MY child and I am not having him in a dangerous situation as the cowards are now starting to get physical. The latest is they are looking at the current classes to move some people. Mikey has been reassured that he will not be moved without Tyler going with him. I think both boys would welcome this to just get a break and some peace.

Personally I am struggling

 My headaches are not clearing and I seem unable to stay in the INR range that is best for me... My anticoagulant has been increased, but the last time that was done I shot up far too high into the danger zone. So looks like I need new blood as well as a kidney!! Next Tuesday I need to be brave as I'm having a head MRI. Haven't had one for a long time and I really don't like them... Not good when I'm under orders not to get stressed!!

Also this week Andy seems to have invented a new Sonic weapon. As a result I spent Monday night downstairs with no sleep before driving to the hospital...not really sure how I got there, but the cad is the right shape so I assume nothing happened!! I am considering offering him to Ukraine to scare off Putins conscripts...

All Change Again

 The last couple of weeks the planet appears to have gone totally insane!

In the UK all covid restrictions have now been concluded...Personally I am going to continue to wear a mask. As someone with a chronic disease which can be seriously impacted by the virus plus a collection of pulmonary embolism in my left lung I am determined to avoid the virus as much as I can humanly manage!

In Europe President Putin appears to have suffered what can only be described as a major brain fart. Following weeks of posturing he has finally launched his invasion of Ukraine to remove the Nazi Regime currently in power. I assume he feels that a Comedian turned Politician is ot fit for the people of his country to democratically elect to run the place...after all all the people overseeing the election did not find any sign of cheating so how could he have won! He wasn't hand picked by Russia and the imbecilic people were allowed free choice...Totally out of order! But it seems to not be going as ordered! Putin has asked the Ukrainian Army to over throw the Nazi Regime - they have point blank refused and come of them have been recorded telling the Russian Navy to "Go Fuck Yourselves" Unfortunately they didn't and basically shelled the Garrison of the face of the planet; but the rest of the Ukraine Armed forces plus any person who has a gun, are fighting back and the reports this morning say that if they can hold out for 10 days Russia will run out of both money and resources. But with a reserve force of 2 million they won't fun out of troops to send to die.

The main cause of all this, other than the Regime being classed as Nazis by Putin, are they have asked to join Nato. So far this has not been agreed, and until it has there are no legal grounds for any other nation to sent their armed forces in. But the US have given $350million to assist in the fight, and I believe the UK have sent a load of hardware. I only hope they have sent instructions with them!

When the invasion began Putin claimed that no civilians would be involve or become casualties...I get the impression that House elf would not know the truth if it hit him in the face. Either that or the army have to worst aim in the world. But the Ukrainians have downed several aircraft and wiped out a selection of armoured vehicle convoys...Mikey is busy making plans on how to take Putin out to protect the work from his madness. Even the Taliban are telling him to stop and support from China appears to fading.

He is really no0t showing any signs of sanity...his latest announcement is that if Sweden and Finland are allowed to join NATO then they will face serious repercussions. Ukraine was, in the past, part of the USSR which Putin appears to feel should reform under Tsar Putin so that he doesn't have to cheat/buy any more election wins. Neither Sweden or Finland were part of USSR...they just have the misfortune to border the are the despot currently holds. He really needs a break to reset - and having Trump telling the world what a genius Putin is does not help his global image. After all - if anyone knows how to Cheat it is Trump! Or at leat how to try and cheat....

Poor Mikey has been very concerned about war in Europe - he has been under the impression he could be called up under Conscription laws. It has taken us most of this week to get him to believe that 11 year old boys have not been conscripted for centuries, so if I get hold of Putin I will slap him into another century for messing with my child. And I am sure there are 100s of other mothers and fathers who would join me..

Tough Day

 Today has been tough for me. I have had a headache since before Christmas and have been refusing to talk to a Dr; mostly because I am fed up with being sent to A&E! But I was nagged whilst I was in the woods yesterday so this morning at 8.00 I started trying to get through... The first 4 calls it was just engaged, but the 5th was the magic moment and I was in a queue of 18! After 25 minutes I actually got to speak to a human! And I was added to the list for a call back from a clinician. Usually that results in being called by a nurse, but for once I was called by a Dr several hours later!

In the meantime I tried to call Amazon as I am still awaiting a refund for a parcel they never delivered as the carrier damaged it... I have no clue how they damaged socks, but they managed it. The 1st person I got through to was very indian and just kept saying she couldn't hear me due to the background noise at my end. I advised her there was no noise her and hung up! The second call from Phillippe who definitely was not French ended when he hung up on me. The third time was lucky for me and once I had convinced her that I had not received the order, just re-ordered after they did nothing, she processed my refund!

After all that I retired downstairs to wait for the GP to call. Andy had the Olympics on, but I signed into I Player and settled down to watch some Ice Hockey. Although I loved it I had so many memories triggered of my Sunday evenings as the Ice Bowl yelling at the top of my voice, leaving me voiceless on most Monday mornings! I don't think Mum ever understood how much we loved it, and when he started going with Jake I was decidedly envious! 

The GP called just before lunch and as a result I'm on antibiotics for a week as she thinks I have a sinus infection and I have been told to go to A&E as she wants my head scanned!  The current plan is to go on Tuesday once I have started the anti biotics and had a chat with ACC about the anti biotics as it can impact my blood thinners... Hopefully not too many kids will have got injured early in half term...

So now I am emotional, fed up and wanting to spend as little time in hospital on Tuesday as I can. But I did do a test this morning so it isn't Covid thankfully!

Not Enjoying This year

 I'm still not feeling happy....if anything I am just getting more and more depressed. Rory is trying to show as much love as a cat can, Misty only seems to want to cause as many problems as she can and all I want is a dog to give me the unconditional love they are so renowned for.

Mikey is being bullied by a group of morons at school and I am threatening to go in to show them the error of their ways. One of them was at Primary with Mikey and was well known for trying to inflict his opinions etc on others...he is still trying to do this but appears to have now tracked down a couple of muscle bound numbskulls to do his bidding. They all spend alot of time in isolation but it obviously doesn't work and telling me that the issues within Mikey's form are well known really does not give me any faith that anything is being done to deal with it. Mikey used to be up for going to school - now I'm having to talk him in to going by giving him coping mechanisms that he can use when one of the gang decide it is time to make his life hell again. I am not putting up with this and will happily get louder if I need to.

Personally I am still totally exhausted and my headache that started over Christmas is showing no sign of leaving me alone. My blood is also not behaving itself and If I can't stabilise at an INR >2 I will be back in the injections as well as the tablets. I still have all the bumps from the 1st lot of injections so I have absolutely no desire to add anymore as it makes injecting my insulin a real problem as well. The ACC nurses are also not happy that I don't want to eat most of the time, but I still can't taste 'normal' flavours so I find it very difficult to even want to eat. But I'm still not managing to lose any weight which is starting to get decidedly annoying. And having finished my chocolate ban I still really have no desire to eat any now - but if anyone removes my mints I will probably start a murder spree as I am still feeling constantly sick. If I was a horse I would have been shot by now...

What is really annoying me as well at the moment is that I appear to have lost my desire to Diamond Paint - all I really feel like doing, other than curling up and crying, is to lose myself in a good book until I finally fall asleep - hopefully for a few days. A week in a coma is very appealing right now.

Thoughts

 My insomnia is simply not going away. I am exhausted and appear to be totally unable to turn my brain off at the time I should be dead to the world and giving myself time to recover from each day.

This weeks thoughts have been decidedly varied - Monday morning at 4am I decided that I need to learn how to tap dance...Lucky for Andy I let him continue snoring rather than thumping him awake and filling him in on my latest big idea! Due to our suspended floors I am going to need a large board on the patio to practise on so I don't bring the row of houses down....

Other thoughts have been that I really am not happy living here and all the things I hoped my life would include that can/will never happen for me. I am not happy living where so many people just want me to get on and die. I really wanted more than one child...the one I did manage to produce is, according to me, rather cute, so it appears making people is something I was quite good at.

I also hoped that, by now, I would have a dog as a companion. But I married a man scared of dogs who hates them and is adament that we will not have one. I have a feeling he is hoping I will soon be in a place where I will stop going on about this and leave him in peace. You would have thought he would know what I'm like after 20 years of marriage - but apparently keeping a happy wife is way down his list of priorities. I have even come up with sensible reasons, but they are still being ignored. I'm also fed up that the cats only ever attack/bite me - never him. He is the cat lover, but I'm the one with the scars.

Todays main achievement has been to yell at Amazon Customer Relations...One of the books I bought Andy for Christmas was also bought for him by his brother - I'm not sure how his relatives manage to remove so many things from wish lists without them deleting off... To avoid confusion, we returned the one I bought and Amazon decided it had been sent in addition to the order I made (Totally untrue) and when Andy returned it he was told no refund would be made. I decided I was in exactly the mood to take on the penis flying moron so did! The refund is now being processed along with a 5 pound credit on my account! I did make the bloke I was talking too laugh when I referred to objecting to funding a flying penis as Bezos' rocket really looks like one - he said he couldn't comment but could see where I was coming from!! I'm now exhausted and very tempted to go to bed in the hope I might pass out.

Yesterday I was in the woods - I can honestly say I can't remember ever being that cold! At one point people were almost sitting on the fire! But the atmosphere was great fun and we were all lovely and relaxed - even coping with the news that Karen and Mark are leaving. I hope they have a fantastic time going around the UK, and can't wait to see what ends up on Marks U tube channel! I think there is a chance we may all move into Jo's garden until the new groups - hopefully - receive funding and we can go back to the trees! In the meantime I am just going to try to absorb enough wood energy to keep me going...

Another Long night

 Last night was horrific yet again. Sleep was decidedly conspicuous by its absence. I think I finally fell asleep at about 5.30 am....my alarm then went off at 8.15, I moved to the bathroom. Andy then phoned me to make sure I was up in time for my ACC appointment at 9.20. I ended up pretending to be a helicopter as I was parked up next to the helipad due to the continuing building of the Nightingale Unit - which probably never be used as the infection rates appear to be falling and hospitalisations are dropping alongside that.  Heaven only knows how long it will take to remove this from the carpark...and in the meantime it is not looking as though my visits will reduce any time soon. My INR was 1.7 today, my target rate is 2.5 - 3.0 so I'm not really making that much progress at the moment so my doseage has been increased again. Hopefully I will not follow my usual pattern and shot right up again. If I do I have a horrible feeling that I'll be stuck back on the anticoagulant injections...the bruises have finally faded, but the horrible lumps and bumps are still hanging around and I can honestly say that I am the strangest shape now.

At the moment my fatigue levels are getting crazy, the lack of sleep combined with that is really not helping me achieve an acceptable of happy way of life. Right now I would be happy if it all ended as I just feel like a waste of time and space. If I could come up with a way to  get around it I would...I would love to get a semblence of normality back where I can stop treading on egg shells with myself to ensure I don't upset me.

My one aim at the moment is to try to convince Andy to let Mikey and me get a dog; this isn't just for me - I know how much having Pip helped me when I was at school....she gave me another being to talk to and confide in. That gorgeous girl knew so many secrets, I didn't have any close friends to confide in apart from her and she got me through the move from school to work and through the adjustment and dealing with the reaction from my parents that nothing I was doing was actually worth doing and that I had wasted my Uni place for nothing. Misty, my so called loving medi cat, decided last night that my foot had too much blood in it so decided to free some with her claws. That is usually Rorys trick, but she then used me as a climbing frame to try to apologise...needless to say it didn't work.

 Still trying to empty my head in an attempt to actually get a good nights sleep for once...

Last night just seemed to go on for ever. I just couldn't get comfortable and alternated between too hot and too cold. To say the bed felt lumpy is an understatement and I just cant seem to relax at sleep time. If this goes on much longer I am going to have to admit defeat and ask a Dr for help to knock me out so I can at least catch up on my deficit at some point!

One good thing I did achieve today was to finally order a new box of LFT Tests on line! At least I now don't have to sweet talk a pharmacist into handing over a box this time!

I also managed to get some wellies I can actually got on as well. In theory they are arriving tomorrow, but they turned up early evening instead;  I can get my feet round the bend - but once on they feel far too big and cold! Hopefully they won't get pulled off in the mud...and my socks will be warm enough!!

This week are meant to be cooking - but my brain just won't come up with any ideas for food to take...but then as I am living on soup and rolls at the moment food really is not a high priority at all. Eating is really feeling like a waste of time still...Most of the time, if I taste anything, it is bland and completely boring. If I add enough garlic or spice to add a flavour I can taste, most other people wouldn't want to touch it. I miss cooking and tasting to ensure it was good. if you can't taste something, how can you taste if the seasoning is balanced or adequate?

I'm also hoping my headache will do one sooner rather than hanging around much longer. I am crap at coping with pain and this has been going on since Christmas and I have had more than enough now. I am also bored of feeling sick so constantly; which when added to my total lack of taste is making ating even more difficult. 

Mikey has certainly been making his presence felt since he got home from school...I guess he has spent most of today being quiet so is making up for it now he is home and allowed to make noise. I love him dearly, but after I have spent an afternoon keeping silent so Andy can work in the peace he needs I really do not need World War 111 breaking out upstairs with Cheeky!! I guess I should just be pleased he feels so comfortable at home...but my head disagrees right now.

Hello Internet!

My laptop is still dead...Andy did contact a repair place before Christmas - but they obviously were not interested in any extra work at that time and have yet to respond in any way! As Mikey now has a laptop I have 'borrowed' his notebook that was originally obtained for his maths homework at Primary as it is not exactly in use at this time! The keyboard is not very responsive and my fingers are already aching!!

Secondary school still seems to be going well for Mikey - I'm more concerned that they let him have a weapon (hockey stick) although he really appears to be getting into the game. He just needs to learn to use the stick on the ball rather than his foot....

Today I am getting angry at snowflakes. Why is everyone looking for things to get upset over? Midget Gems are now Mini Gems so people who have a growth issue are not upset. Are we all getting so upset by words now? Aren't there many more things to get angry about in the world other than the name of sweets that I doubt that many people actually eat any more?

I am probably not helped by the fact I have given up Chocolate this month - prior warning, February 1st I will probably be extremely sick as I have a month of eating to catch up on!! But having said that - right now I'm not sure I actually want to eat any... Cadbury's will shortly be issuing a profit warning!

Yesterday meant I returned to the woods! The sun was out - but it was so cold and decidedly muddy! I have ordered wellies for next week! But being me they are spotty - I could never wear normal, boring wellies! I may well need more socks at this rate...borrowing any from Andy or Mikey really does not appeal! It was lovely and relaxing being back in the trees - I even did as I was told and avoided all sharp tools. If I'm honest I spent nost of the time near the fire shivering!!