I really should stop watching stuff like Casualty. I've just watched this evenings episode which concentrated on a Doctor having a breakdown. What really scared me is I didn't have a breakdown at the end of 2008. I was severely depressed but I was nothing like the state this character had got into (it is so nice to be able to say that!!) But I an VERY aware just how close I got to it. The thing I found really scary this evening is how much it felt as though the writers have been marauding through my head and one comment the character made about Mental Health practitioners was exactly how I felt about one of the professionals I saw a few times... I am NEVER going to complain about the help I have been given though, I feel very grateful and the Counsellor I saw was truly wonderful, but I paid her privately as the waiting list for a NHS appointment was far too long and I was very aware I needed help quickly so needed to start very much sooner rather than later. I am also very aware just how many people don't seem to think mental illness actually exists and that it's something that should be brushed under the carpet or better still ignored until it goes away. Having experienced it more than once it is real, scary and it doesn't go away if you ignore it - trying to that makes it worse. Please, if you know someone with a mental illness, never tell them to 'buck up'. Instead please give them a hug and listen - that will help more than you will ever know. My personal theory is the world needs more hugs and if we all did that it would be a much nicer and happier place.
On a much more positive note my son has been charming another woman again! This afternoon he met Sam for the first time, he was soon happily sat on her knee smiling at her ( he is a floozy!) before he retreated to the floor for some mat time! One thing both Andy and I are very aware of is just how lucky we are to have such a cheerful friendly little boy :-) And the fact he is happy for Mummy to have cuddles whenever she needs them is wonderful for me!
He also went up to bed easily this evening and I have a feeling he was asleep before Andy got downstairs! If I'm honest I would love us to have a brother or sister for him but we simply don't have the space for another child and knowing our luck a second would not be as laid back and easy going as Mikey! I'll just have to continue my campaign for a pet instead! I have ruled out hamsters etc as I know who would be left to clean them out and fish and birds simply don't appeal! To be honest I would really like a little female kitten for my birthday so the sexes in the house would at least be evened out!
In a somewhat macabre way, its good to know that someone out there feels the same way. I too felt slightly spooked at how accurate casualty was this week - had they been following me? Last week I had to stop watching because the piece on domestic abuse was so accurate and similar to my past that I had to switch it off and burst into tears. needless to say a big cuddle and cuppa from the hubby had me sorted again. I did go thru the NHS for my counselling. the first time was a complete sucess and I was ale to move on, but the second bout left me worse off than before. not the counsellors fault but i did tell them they cant change whats in my life at the moment!
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note too I'm glad you have such a happy little boy. mine too is a very outgoing and happy little chap who loves to charm the ladies (especially brunettes)! I do worry however that he is likely to wander off with anyone with a smile and some food...
My little charmer originally preferred blodes but now he doesn't mind so long as they are female an he can stick his hand down the front of their clothing!!! Heaven only knows what will happen when he starts being mobile - maybe I will need a playpen to keep him from chasing girls!!!
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