Or at least I feel as though I am trying to climb a never ending hill. Luckily Mikey still seems to find the need to make me laugh as much as he can (this morning he was beating Daddy up with a teething ring or 2!!) If I didn't have my little boy I would be a much bigger wreck than I currently am - he and some wonderful friends have kept me going this week (especially on Thursday, thank you so much Brian & Rachel - I wouldn't have got through it without you)
I have also started keeping a paper journal this week, it means I can write exactly what I want about how I am feeling and not worry about who may read it... I know it is a little cowardly but at the moment I simply need a place to vent that other people can't then hold against me. I now sound totally paranoid and maybe I am...but I have learnt over the last few years what I need to do to protect me and at the moment that is the most important thing to me - along with protecting my son.
Not much else of note has happened this week really, I have been trying to hold myself together and be as calm as possible for Mikey's sake. My parents are off to Norfolk at the end of this week for a Funeral. Not a nice thought and it is for someone I never expected to have gone now... My memories of her are of someone full of vitality and life... Probably the nicest way to remember her really. I haven't actually seen her for ages - in fact the last time I saw her was the day Diana died... we had a birthday party for my Dad's 60th and she and her husband came down for it. That was another very odd day but one I'll never forget for a nice reason :-)
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