I will apologise now...I am feeling decidedly sorry for myself. The cough is now a very annoying squeaky noise and I am totally unable to have a simple conversation without at least one major coughing fit taking over.
My main issue, I feel is my lack of control over what is actually a natural reflex designed to shift the gunk out of my lungs. Unfortunately I seem to have used it as means to eat and then expelled the food. The other crazy thing is this stupid lymphodema is making me look fatter and fatter as the fluid is now bloating me around my stomach and waist. My calves are still solid and it is impossible for me to relax the muscles...This is making walking a challenge as my legs constantly feel tired and painful. I have no idea how long the waiting list is that I'm on...but I really need some help.
This has now been going on for 3+ months and has really brought me down. I am dealing with constant pain and people telling me off for putting weight on. Most days, if I can be bothered to eat, my calorie intake is way below what it should be...and my new excess weight does a great wave motion demonstration. I wouldn't mind if people actually asked rather than just made assumptions. I'm totally paranoid already without having comments stating the obvious.
I've lost count of the number of nights I've cried myself to sleep recently...and it scares me how much I hate my life at ťhe moment.
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