3 Today

Three years ago I had my own personal miracle.  My son was born at 5.44 in the afternoon and from that second both my and Andy"s lives changed forever.

The last 3 years have whizzed past at horrific speed, but also I'm finding it hard to remember life without him... it almost feels as though he has always been part of my life, that shadowy figure you catch a glimpse of out of the corner of your eye...but never really see properly! I quite like the thought that our children are always with us, whatever happens in our and their lives.

I'm not sure if Mikey really understands what a birthday is...various people have been trying to explain that yesterday he was 2 and today he is 3. He just looks at you as if you were mad and carries on with whatever he was doing. Some of his looks are wonderful and I have loved seeing his character emerge as he grows up. I suppose it is especially treasured by me as I had thought it would never happen - and the vow I made on the Stroke Ward would remain unfulfilled.  But that evening in November 2009 when I couldn't stop the tears as I tried to sing 'When A Child is Born" will be a moment I will never forget as it was then things clicked into place and I worked out why I was feeling so odd...I was now we!

Part of me feels sorry for men, it is hard to explain the connection you have with your baby. I think I knew from that evening in Godinton House that our tadpole was a boy.The confirmation at our 20 week scan just confirmed what I already knew (although I still can't see how they knew)

Maybe I'm strange but I miss being pregnant and I really can't remember giving birth as being painful. .. my memory is of it being uncomfortable, nothing more! Perhaps I was meant to have more than one, but I now intend to be the best Mum I can for him. I just want him to have as good a set of parents as I had.