Day 4

It's my last night without him tonight...I can't wait to get him home with me where he belongs and I need him to be. I've never missed him this much before apart for towards the end of my stay in hospital in 2008...and I know of he goes away again I'll need to record his snoring and the little noises he makes when asleep! Maybe this week has simply proved that I have found my soulmate and I'm right where I should be...

Gizmog has missed him to, but I know for a fact there will be some serious ignoring happening tomorrow when Andy gets home...the feline cold shoulder is someting Gizmog is impressively good at! All I get at the moment is constant food requirements and a decidedly noisey yelling...that cat has some volume when he puts his mind to it!

My intention tonight is to try to relax and have an early night and a seriously good sleep. After all this is my last night to have the bed to myself! And I quit like having both sides to myself...I can happily roll around to my hearts content and find cool bits of bed when I get warm! But I can't wait to get a nice back rub...another good reason to get Andy home asap!

Day 3

I really did mean to do this last night...but time sort of got away from me! But at least I seemed to get to sleep ok and pretty much stayed asleep until 4am... And I was up without my alarm clock and in work early - pretty good considereing Sea France are disrupted due to some sort of industrial action and lorries are stacked up all through the port (made getting in fun!)

Still really missing him - but at least he's home Friday afternoon. I can't wait, I need lots of hugs and a decent back rub! I'm not even that pregnant yet (distinct lack of bump) but I'm already getting horrible back ache. I've also sort of decided this week I think it's a boy, no real reason just one of those feelings...But my Mum has said she thought both me and my sister were boys before we arrived to prove her wrong so who knows! But all the children in my generation of my family were girls and so far my sister had had a boy and my cousin 2 girls...so I guess that guessing is a bit silly! Hopefully we weill find out on 23rd February when we have the 20 week scan (although I will be 21 or possibly 22 weeks by then!)

Oh - and I have a new car to hate now! Toyota Yaris Verso things - the sort of box shaped versions, I was following one home last night and it was all over the place and the indicators appear to have stopped working so at every junction/turning it was 'guess what they are going to d o next time'. My no swearing ban went out of the window - although I did try to stick to german and hopefully Tadopole wasn't listening too hard!

The other big news...I was in bed hugging the little bump as usual and I think I felt Tadpole move :) I was so excited I had to phone Andy up and tell him (and have a little cry) If it was the baby it was the best thing to happen all week...but Andy should have been there as I didn't manage to feel it again - I'll just have to try again on Friday but at least I should be more relaxed then. I just hope Tadpole isn't too relaxed and asleep at the time!!

Day 2

I'm sorry for going on - but I'm still missing Andy like mad. We are obviously meant to be together as neither of us is sleeping well without the other one being there. Gizmog is missinghim as well I think... but we're still having a regular early evening silly session when he charges up and down the stairs at high speed making unearthly noises and trying to outrun ghosts or something! Right now he is sat glaring at me as I've only fed him once since I got home - it seems 3 packets of food by 5.00 isn't enough to keep a grown cat functioning!

The weather has just been on, apparently it's going to get down to -6 tonight. I feel a hibernation session coming on! If I didn't have to get out of bed tomorrow morning I really wouldn't. And to make tomorrow morning even better I've got to stop off for more blood tests on my way to work tomorrow morning...Another bruised hand, just what I need! If only they had simply fitted a tap as I suggested in the first place it would be so much easier...or get on and invent tricorders so no fluids need to be extracted in the first place.

Sorry for a really boring blog tonight but I am totally shattered...my big aim is to make it to 9.00 tonight, I did manage 9.30 last night but I think that was a one off! THis week I only have 2 more days to get through as I'm off on Friday so I can pick Andy up from the station when he gets back... the countdown has begun!!!

Day 1...

So far Andy has only been away for 24 hours...but I really am missing him like mad and the house is horribly empty and I'm not hearing the noises I need to feel relaxed and secure. I never thought I'd admit this but  I am even missing Andy's snoring and all the strange noises he makes when he's asleep. Maybe I shouldn't confess to this as I moan about the noise when he's here but even having the radio on all night I still couldn't get the right level of noise to fall asleep!

It wasn't helped by Gizmog seeing ghosts and freaking out big time  - for a small cat he can make one hell of a racket when he's doing his mad dash up and down stairs and charging around the bed and along the landing. Hopefully his mad session when I got home means he'll spend the rest of this evening in a relatively calm state! Well calm for Gizmog anyway!

Hopefully Andy may be home mid afternoon on Friday...I was already thnking about having the day off - this has pretty much decided it for me now :) I just want to be here when he gets home Sorry - blame the hormones but usually it's me going away and I'm so busy I don't have time to miss him, this time it's the wrong way round and I simpy don't know how to process the feelings and emotions I'm experiencing.

23rd January

Still totally shattered...which was really not helped last night by getting cramp at 2.00am and then realising that Baby Z was boucing happily on my bladder so I had to get up anyway. All the forums seem to be full of pregnant women who had urgent rushes to get to the loo in the 1st Trimester rather than now - but I guess that just shows our baby is going to be anything but normal and won't do the expeted!! But then again the fact it's even in existance shows that too!!

I'm still craving bacon rolls at the moment - and my darling husband has just come home with bread rolls and bacon! So right now there is a wonderful smell of cooking bacon floating through from the kitchen. How am I going to survive a week without him???

But seeing as we have just had a major disaster rearding his car as it appears the garage yesterday have completely mucked it up I may just have a week of peace and hopefully no disasters or panics! But then I still have Gizmog around and it seems to be his lifes work to make my life hell so I guess anything could and will happen whilst Andy is living it up in Reading!!!

When do I get my boost of energy???

All the 'wonderful' pregnancy books and websites tell you that once you get past 12 weeks you get this amazing energy boost and stop feeling so tired. Seeing as I'm nearly 17 weeks now and still waiting ...where is it? To be honest I could really do with it as I've only been at work 3 days this week and I am feeling completely washed out and exhausted.

Andy keeps suggesting I have a power nap when I get home - one small problem with that, if I drop off that is it for several hours and I'll never get the amount of sleep I need at night then :(

The big news is I think I felt the baby in the early hours of Thursday morning...I was awake at 3am and certainly felt something. I had debated waking Andy up to tell him but he was snoring well and I don't think he would have appreciated me waking him up to tell him that! After all he wouldn't be able to feel it to so it wouldn't have been exactly interesting or earth shattering for him!

Panic over for the time being!

I've finally calmed down after the adventures of Tuesday and Wednesday... All bleeding has ceased and right now everything is happily sitting exactly where it is supposed to be right now :) I am officially a happy Mummy!

This morning was my 'emergency' scan and I had a wonderful sonographer (I think that's what they are called) She showed me quickly where the baby was and it's heart beating nice and strongly and then talked me thought the 'rest' of it as she tried to get some measurements. Baby Zerfahs lived up to it's bolshy label and totally refused to help out or get into a position where we could tell what it is! The only thing I'm sure about is it has long legs already - inherited form it's Mum!So I am still none the wiser and much to Andy's disgust, still calling it Tadpole!

After the scan I had to go down to Early Pregnancy for  clinic - I saw bits of the WIlliam Harvey I've never been to before, but a very nicw volunteer told me where I had to go and thankfully didn't give me a map - if he had I imagine I would still be wandering around! The official decision is that the baby is totally fine and Tuesday has been written off as just one of those things with no real reason or cause...hopefully it will be a one off and won't happen again - or at least not too often!

I m still blaming my hormones for just about everything...I burst into tears driving home and it was totally down to hormones...and the fact I've realised that I already totally adore my baby and will do anything to protect him or her.