I have finally got the go ahead/all clear to go back to work! I'm back from 9.00 on Monday and for the first 2 weeks I'm just doing half days to break me in gently. I have to admit to feling rather nervous and apprehensive, I didn't want to be off in the first place and everytime I've tried to go back the reply has been no... but the thought of simply walking back into the office makes me feel rather queasy, especially as Sam is no longer there. Basically I've lost my security blanket so I'm going to have to be a big girl and survive all by myself!!!!
The weather is really getting me down at the moment... I'd be happy if winter would start properly as half the time I don't have a clue what to wear as it can get almost warm some afternoons. I'd like a real winter morning where I can wear a scarf and gloves without feeling totally over dressed! There is a real disadvantage with my car having an aluminimum Gear knob - it can feel so cold! And I am officially a complete wuss so cold gear knobs are a real no no when I'm trying to be awake enough to drive to Dover!
Saturday, 28 November 2009
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Rememberence Day and thinking too much
It must be the time of the year but I've just been thinking far to much... 10 years ago I really didn't picture myself 'here'. In my mind I would have at least one child by now, probably 2 and they'd both be at school. Instead I don't even have 1 and there is no sign of me having one any time soon and to say the clock is ticking is a huge understatement. I want to be able to enjoy and be pary of my children growing up - I don't want them to be embarrassed by their old mother and not wanting to bring friends home....
Maybe I also want to be in a totally different career - I only wish I knew what!!! All I know is I know it isn't credit control!!! If I could I'd love to find something I could do in child care. I know the pay isn't great but I think I need job satisfaction right now - something I haven't had for years. I'd love a job that I could go home from feeling I had had a good, successful day and had achieved everything I wanted to each day... do jobs like this actually exist in the real world?
Perhaps this is my warning to stop thinking so much... But at the moment it is the main thing I have to do, making plans fills up a whole load of time!
Maybe I also want to be in a totally different career - I only wish I knew what!!! All I know is I know it isn't credit control!!! If I could I'd love to find something I could do in child care. I know the pay isn't great but I think I need job satisfaction right now - something I haven't had for years. I'd love a job that I could go home from feeling I had had a good, successful day and had achieved everything I wanted to each day... do jobs like this actually exist in the real world?
Perhaps this is my warning to stop thinking so much... But at the moment it is the main thing I have to do, making plans fills up a whole load of time!
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Angry of Ashford...
I'm still slowly trying to get my head around the idea of me and diabetes and looking carefully at everything I eat to check how much sugar may or may not be lurking somewhere within it... It really isn't fun but at least I should start eating a little more healthily now!
I went over to see my parents today to get some presents for some friends in Norfolk as they are going up this weekend and can deliver them for us (saves on postage and worrying about strikes etc) We went to a local shopping centre and Dad offered to buy lunch while we were out, the food court wasn't really an option, Jacket Potatoes are too high in sugar (??), Subway have too many carbs, Burger King and KFC are just out so we decided to try the Cafe in Sainsburys.
Once we'd made it up stairs and fought through the OAP's the menu was anything you wanted so long as it was fried! There were a couple of sandwiches, on white bread of course, but salad or pasta...dream on!! Anyone with any kind of dietary limitations was buggered so we retreated to M&S and bought a couple of salads and then went back to Mum and Dads and ate there! Dad has aso decided that M&S have a superior type of queue, but the assistants should slow down to allow customers to finish any converations before interupting them to actually serve then!!
I was good today and bough my Poppy from a very nice ex-serviceman, WWII I think who assured me that once he had pinned my poppy on there was no way I could lose it like I normally do!
One other thing I meant to do today was find a book on diabetes as my wonderful GP doesn't seem too keen on telling me too much...the consultant I saw yesterday has told me I should be monitoring it closely and testing mysef every day. Apparently my GP should have told me this and have given me the meter to use - I saw my GP yesterday to be told I have to see the nurse about this rather than a Dr...I have an appointment with her on the 13th so I'll carry on floundering around in the meantime. Hopefully I can't get anything too wrong in the meantime!!!
I went over to see my parents today to get some presents for some friends in Norfolk as they are going up this weekend and can deliver them for us (saves on postage and worrying about strikes etc) We went to a local shopping centre and Dad offered to buy lunch while we were out, the food court wasn't really an option, Jacket Potatoes are too high in sugar (??), Subway have too many carbs, Burger King and KFC are just out so we decided to try the Cafe in Sainsburys.
Once we'd made it up stairs and fought through the OAP's the menu was anything you wanted so long as it was fried! There were a couple of sandwiches, on white bread of course, but salad or pasta...dream on!! Anyone with any kind of dietary limitations was buggered so we retreated to M&S and bought a couple of salads and then went back to Mum and Dads and ate there! Dad has aso decided that M&S have a superior type of queue, but the assistants should slow down to allow customers to finish any converations before interupting them to actually serve then!!
I was good today and bough my Poppy from a very nice ex-serviceman, WWII I think who assured me that once he had pinned my poppy on there was no way I could lose it like I normally do!
One other thing I meant to do today was find a book on diabetes as my wonderful GP doesn't seem too keen on telling me too much...the consultant I saw yesterday has told me I should be monitoring it closely and testing mysef every day. Apparently my GP should have told me this and have given me the meter to use - I saw my GP yesterday to be told I have to see the nurse about this rather than a Dr...I have an appointment with her on the 13th so I'll carry on floundering around in the meantime. Hopefully I can't get anything too wrong in the meantime!!!
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