As per usual I have been meaning to write for a while...but I got slightly sidetracked by a 40th birthday and the grumpy celebratee...I'm not sure he is enoying being the big 4-0!!!

The celebrating started last saturday with a party for a select group of friends...some travelled much futher than others, But Dave and his dress were certainly the stars of the event!! I was amazed how well my Mother coped with both the dress and Dave but I'm not sure she saw the lifting of his skirt to gain access to his bottle opener!

Tuesday was dinner with Andy's family, the food was good and I think everyone enjoyed it and we possibly worsened global warming with the 3rd Birthday cake + candles!! Well it had to be done!

The celebrating continued on Thursday with a trip to see Fame...I saw the original at school as I was at school with Alan Parker's neice, we saw Fame before it was released and also got to see Bugsy Malone wilst sitting on the hall floor, this time the seating was considerably more comfortable! We followed the film by stopping of at the Beefeater for dinner. Thankfully they were quick as I was starving by 10!!

Today we went out for lunch with Andy's Dad and his wife...Zizi's in Canterbury...Apparently my choice but I enjoyed it although the Calamari was overcooked - luckily I didn't have that!!

Other news from this week...I've finally got some results bak from my week in William Harvey. I DO NOT HAVE MS!!!! Cue serious relief and celebration, the down side is they still have no idea what is causing my headaches but it is possibly something to do with a possible hormone in-balance, but that isn't a neurology problem so I'll be referred to another consultant and I assume the tests will all start again!

Catching up..

I've been meaning to update this for ages, but kept finding other things to do instead... but today I've got a mind that feels as though it is overflowing so it may well be the right time to empty some of it out here!

I've been back to choir for the second week and I'm sure I can feel my voice getting stronger, I can certainly hold notes a little longer without anything wobbling to much! It also helps my mood that we're really concentrating on Christmas stuff right now... nothing better than a good old Christmas song to lift your mood and leave you with a big, daft grin on your face. Well it works for me!

I saw the work Occupational Health Dr today and he kindly translated my discharge notes for me into english I can understand! Some of my spinal fluid is being tested by chromatography to look for MS, this will offer a definitive diagnosis rather than all the perhaps and maybes I've had so far. Apparently this is done up in London and can take 3-4 weeks to come back. Also they are testing me for a wierd kidney tumor which could be the reason my adrenaline levels are far too high. I'm not worried about this as it is totally benign (or however that is spelt) and can be removed with no real problems. There is only one hospital in the UK who do the procedure - The John Radcliffe which I think is somewhere near Oxford... but knowing my sense of direction I'm probably wrong!

The cat wars are still ongoing!! Squirell cat is totally adorable and I've managed to get a few stokes in now, he seems rather more sociable than Gizmo... but watching the pair of them fight through the cat flap is hilarious, I just get the impression neither of them appreciates me laughing at them  but it just looks so daft!!

Not much going on!

I'm still battling these stupid headaches but scarily I think I'm starting to get more used to them, they really don't feel quite as bad as they used to. That isn't really the way I want them cured, but it is better than the pain I have been experiencing.

Last night was my first trip to the Ashford Community Choir. It's safe to say it's very different to the last choir I sang with.. one thing we don't get much of is music and/or words - expecting me to remember words is a joke!!! I'm already googling frantically to find lyrics to help me!

I'm off to Portsmouth tomorrow - it's wonderful down there and I relax far more than I do in Kent. I can't explain why but I just do. I would love to live down there...perhaps a new start is what I need - leave all the memories behind me and start making some new ones for me and my family. I think we've all been through far to much already and the last week I had in hospital terrified me as I had no control or idea what was happening or wrong with me again. I feel a little as if I've gone back a year again and I have to get through everything that has happened since last september again.

Please can I borrow a drill...

My headache is fighting back big time now. I have been trying to avoid taking too many painkillers but a couple of hours ago I gave in and took some - but all I want to do right now is drill holes in my head again. The pressure has built up immensely and I just want to relieve it.

There has been a minor disaster today...Andy went to cook some sausages to make a sandwich at lunchtime but the oven refused to turn on. He has e-mailed the bloke who repaired it last time but I doubt we'll hear from him until Monday at the earliest. Which means I'm not cooking roast chicken for lunch tomorrow, I believe the plan is to make a quick trip to Chimneys for their Carvery...at least they do the washing up and preparation!!

We've recently had the battle of the cats here... Gizmo is renowned for letting other cats help themselves to his food, But Thursday night he let Squirrel cat ( a lovely grey fluffy animal) come into the kitchen whilst he sat outside. I just heard a cat come through the flap, Andy noticed it wasn't a short haired Gizmo but a much fluffier version! I think he/she just wanted somewhere nice to have a nap after finishing the food Giz didn't want! At least it didn't get wasted - I just get annoyed at him demanding food every 2 hours, even when he has some as he prefers it fresh out of the packet!!

Adjusting to life outside....

Well I've now been out for 2 days and I've finished the test they sent home with me... so today I started trying to relax a little more and finally try to relieve the stuoid headaches.

I had a trip to the hairdressers yesterday, I was supposed to go last saturday but for obvious reasons it had to be cancelled. Yesterday I got value for money... the hair has shrunk considerably and the 15 minute head massage was pure heaven, I'm trying to find reasons to go back for another hair wash!!!!

Today was a shopping trip with my gorgeous god daughter, and I got the chance to spoil her a little...which I think may be a legal requirement for God Mothers!! She also still gives great cuddles, provided she doesn't manage to get our finger into her mouth! Those teeth hurt and she can excert quite a bit of pressure!!!!

While I'm typing this Andy is watching the final of Big Brother...at least it's finally over and apparently there will only be one more series - I can't believe anyone is actually still watching this... I simply have an overwhelming desire to slap them all and preferably blow up the stupid house.

I've escaped!!!

They finally let me out today...having kept me sat there for the last day or so with very little news or any action at all. They did have their final dig though...yet another blood test, this time from the base of my thumb which is now turning a wonderful shade of black. I hate trainee Drs, why couldn't someone who knew what they were doing do it???

There is still no answer to what is causing my headaches so far, but there are no more tests they can think of to put me through... there is no way I want another Lumbar Puncture, if I ever have children I am sticking to gas & air and there is no way I'll have an epidural, it still hurts even now and the bruise is apparently quite impressive according to my mother!

I can honestly say hospital food has not improved from last year. Some of the stuff I was given was cemented to the plate and totally tasteless. Today was Boiled Beef & carrots...could someone tell me how on earth they managed to dry out boiled beef although adding gravy did disguise it a little, but not enough to make me eat it!!!

In Hospital.....AGAIN!!!!

Well I’ve now been stuck here since Wednesday and they earliest they are likely to let me out is Tuesday next week…

I was originally sent in by my GP because of a blood test that was done on Monday – the original diagnosis from her was Temporal Arteritis, but apparently I’m not old enough for that as I haven’t reached 55! The treatment is very high doses of steroids which make you pile weight on so I’m quite happy she was wrong!!

I started off on Bethersden which is the female CDU ward before being moved up to Cambridge M2 on Wednesday evening. Luckily I have a side room so it’s just me in here with a window that opens and a nice fan….Why on earth are hospitals so bloody hot???? If anyone wants to visit I’m in room 141 and quickly going insane!!!

Thursday was fairly uneventful, got prodded by a few Drs and on attempted to take some blood before giving up and deciding to leave it to an expert! The plan for Friday was another MRI and then a lumbar puncture – it’s safe to say by the time Andy left on Thursday I was pretty far into my panic zone… I hate needles at the best of times and the thought of one going into my back left me completely terrified. It’s safe to day I didn’t do much sleeping on Thursday Night and after 2 mugs of hot chocolate and one of horlicks, I finally fell asleep at about 2.30 – 3.00. The vampire turned up fairly early to collect my blood, on Thursday the 1st yr Dr had only tried to collect 3 bottles of blood, the phlebotomist collected 11. I’ll admit to feeling very proud I didn’t pass out but I didn’t half feel wobbly after it. Mid morning I was wheeled down to MRI, where they tried to get a canula into my arm and failed so called a Dr whilst sending me off for a chest X-Ray (I have no idea what that was for!)

Once the Dr arrived a needle was basically inserted into the base of my thumb and I was stuck in the machine. I don’t care what anyone says the noise alone of the MRI machine terrifies me as well as being stuck in a small (to me) tube. I think they did 2 scans, one just of me and the other with a contrast – haven’t really heard much from that yet,but it was mentioned this morning that I am going to have yet another on on Tuesday probably!! And I am so looking forward to it…. Anyone believe me yet?

Today the food hasn’t been too bad, I had roast chicken, stuffing roast potatoes and cauliflower and really enjoyed it, certainly compared to the Irish Stew yesterday which I have a feeling even Barley would have refused to eat! On Friday Mum & Dad fed me, salad , prawns and salmon…I was in heaven!! This evening I have salmon and pasta salad and a prawn sandwich courtesy of Andy, so I won’t starve today!!!If I’m honest the headaches have worsened today, I’m on as many painkillers as I can have just to keep going – but one of the painkillers just makes me want to sleep and I’m trying to fight that as I’d much rather sleep at night than during the day. We have been for a short walk to get some fresh air and I got to talk to some of the intrepid Bat Campers… amazingly they sounded relatively sober! Something must be really wrong if they are!!! Maybe I should go and find that cute bloke who did my lumbar puncture… that could kill a few hours!!! There is something about scrubs it seems…