Wednesday, 29 April 2020

29 April 2020

I've been stuck at home since the 5th of April...I have now received letters from the NHS and my GP stating I should be shielding. This would mean Mikey sleeping in my bed and me moving into his room as a start, no physical contact with him at all (something that doesn't bother or worry Andy ) and in theory I should have no contact with any food etc that I'm not eating. I know it is to protect me, and I am grateful as 24 hours under Covid care was more than enough to terrify me.

The main downside of this lockdown is it gives me too much time to think...I just feel even more isolated and alone here. Nobody has checked up on me locally. I'm more aware that my death would actually be a major event and cause for a party. The only person locally who worries about me is Mikey, but I'm sure in the next year or so he will get over that fear and move on.

I am very aware of how isolated I am from my family. Due to social isolation and Mums age I have been good and stayed away. But it has only rubbed in how none involved I am inherently life. We are rapidly having less and less in common and there is nothing I can think of right now to improve/help resolve that. Most of the time when I call I feel that I am just being humoured and when I go away life carrie's on quite happily.

Mikey is struggling with his mental health, we did see Lenworth Clinic, but they have decided there is nothing they can do so have palmed us off to Early Help and have stuck us on a list for an Autism test...but that is a 2 year wait at least. Early years have already referred us to Crossroads who are happy that Mikey fits their criteria and should be calling me soon to talk about what they are able to offer. After all this I feel anything away from home and both of us will help him and he will get to meet more people his age who are also dealing with more than children their age should have to.

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