It is coming up to the first anniversary of my Dads death....I still miss him and have picked up the phone to call him more times than I want to either admit to or care to remember. Mikey tends to use his death to try to get out of homework or going to bed. He is only too aware that the mere mention of Grandad reduces mè to tears...I had hoped I'd be cried out by now but the tears just keep falling.
I guess I'm also thinking of my own mortality now...especially after the funeral for Glenn. He was so young and having spoken to him only a few days before his death so lovely and kind. He helped me get over being told what a terrible mother I am by my son. Glenn reassured me that I'm doing ok and that Mikey doesn't mean it. I really needed to hear that at that time and I will always be grateful he took the time to tell me...
Glenn's funeral just re-emphasised how I hate crematorium ceremonies with the curtains closing etc and the coffin being left alone. I found it very hard at Dads funeral to leave him and last Friday made me certain I don't want that. At the moment I'm not sure what I want other than lots of music... so it looks like I want one hell of a party...and I quite like the idea or being buried beneath a tree so I can at least help clean air for the future...
I'm still job hunting, I'm applying for every local job I can do but don't seem to be getting very far. The number of places that reply/give feedback is extremely low. To be honest I feel that is rude and not exactly polite. But I'll keep looking, there is a job for me out there somewhere!
