Better late than never!!

This is a rather delayed update on Mikey's first proper trip to see Santa… Having read another persons update on the Reindeer centre I pretty much decided that was where we were going! Daddy didn't really have any say in the matter, but I simply wanted a good first experience for him (OK, he did meet Santa last year but he was only 5-6 months only and was terrified and buried his face in my neck!)

Thanks to me nagging a little we arrived not long after it opened, and thankfully it was really well signposted so getting there was easy! We parked on site and met a lovely dog who probably got tickled/stroked by almost everyone who was parking which he really didn't object to! First order of business was a quick trip to change a nappy…I really don't think Santa would have liked the aroma! We also had to shout at the pens of chickens and ducks, not sure they really appreciated whatever Mikey said but it had to be done! I'm assuming that feeding the ducks at Singleton Lake is not a peaceful experience for Debbie! Unfortunately the Raccoons were busy curled up on their sleeping shelf and obviously feeling unsociable as they didn't want to say hello! By the time Mikey was smelling fragrant again there was quite a queue so we went to join it and soon were making our way to Santa! Mummy was happy as the first think she saw were some large sparkly penguins! Mikey's eyes were enormous as he tried to take everything in, and he and Daddy say in the sleigh for a quick photo, although getting a non-moving shot was a tad difficult! The one minor mishap we had was the talking bear! Daddy said it was Brian Blessed's voice but I think Mikey found it a little too loud and booming, but soon cheered up one we moved past it and the little illuminated house came into view!

There was a slight delay once we got close to Santa's house but Mummy was happy making friends with the 2 Reindeer parked outside and the Chief Elf was very friendly and stamped Mikey's passport for him! (Plus she was blonde - always a good thing so far as my son is concerned!) We soon went through to meet the Big Man and Mikey was all smile and cuteness! Apparently not what is usually had from his age range - most of them scream and don’t' want to go near Santa, Mikey was soon happily sat on his knee without too much wriggling and he didn't try to attack the beard (which had been Daddy's biggest fear) Santa and Mikey had quite a long chat, I can honestly say I didn't understand a word of it, but Santa appeared to so hopefully everything requested will arrive on the night of the 24th! Mikey had a photo with Santa and got a nice big wrapped box to take away and we left Santa in peace to chat with the next child and went off to buy a copy or 2 of the photo! I was impressed £6 each, or 2 for £10! So we had to get one to commerate the 1st proper meeting!

We then passed through the last few rooms with lots of excited noises from the young man in his chariot (Or Maserati as Santa called it) and escaped back into the sunshine to move onto the next part of our Visit! We soon moved to the Barn, full of Christmas music and loads of animals… we started in Animal corner where Mummy made friends with a very friendly goat and fell in love with the ducklings, it would have been so easy to simply sneak a few into his push chair! The Bunnies and piggles were wonderful - maybe for next years birthday!?!?!? And then Mummy saw the bouncy ones at the back! Mikey was mesmerised by them as they dashed around - to be honest I don’t think he's really ever seen a Kangaroo so wallabies were a whole new experience and certainly don't move like animals he comes into contact with on a regular basis! We then had to stop off and get up close to a big Reindeer, we left the push chair in Daddy's capable hands and had a seat on a straw bale while a reindeer had a good sniff! I think the straw was more exciting the Reindeer as you could pull it out in handfuls! But he was very good and didn't punch anyone or scream, and was very gentle with the noses pushed towards him!

Daddy had to almost physically restrain mummy when she saw the Meerkats, they were so cute and rushed over and chatted to people, I know they are vicious but I really want one! We still had the Llamas and the Donkeys to visit and the Emus! Mikey didn’t seem to bothered by them and thankfully the Llamas didn't do their party trick! But the Donkeys were lovely … but those have always been a family favourite and maybe they kept their pen mates calm! We decided that he was a little too small for the snow and ball pit experience (the lack of waling wouldn't help either) so Mummy and Daddy decided it was time for their Mince pie and Mikey had a few swigs of Fruit Shoot to keep him going! Once done the final bits of his passport were stamped and we made a move back home as it was getting close to lunch time, stopping for a chat with a very loud cockatoo! Once Mikey had had lunch he went up for a 'nap' which lasted for getting on for 4 hours, I'm sure I have been told that sleep is when small people process and new sights/experiences etc - I guess there was a whole lot of processing going on!

Quite a week....

This week has been slightly manic. I had this afternoon off as Mikey needed a sitter and hasn't been a well boy, he threw up at Debbie's yesterday and did the same again this morning. But he's been fine all afternoon and this evening he was simply adorable. Lots of smiles and cuddles and yelling for Gary! (Debbie's partner)

The plan for this weekend is to wait for the replacement washing machine tomorrow and head off to the Reindeer Centre on Sunday to visit the big man in Red! It appears that the Santa experience there is pretty good and it's somewhere I've never been and have wanted to visit! Plus having heard 'Fairytale of New York' on the radio this morning I'm starting to feel rather seasonal!!

It's my sisters birthday today so I am very aware that we only have 4 weeks until the big day now, I really need to get organised as so far I've only sorted Mikey and Andy out! My parents are rather difficult as they pretty much buy what they want when they want it! My brother-in-law is the same! For my nephew...where is the best place to buy drum sticks!?!?!?

I've sort of made an early New Years Resolution...I'm going to try to post more often than I've managed this year, it really is a great way to remember stuff, especially as my memory is still decidedly dodgy most of the time! Maybe I need a smart phone so I can update when I have a break for lunch at work as our security means I can't get onto this site!!

My own personal demolition crew...

is commonly known as Michael Andrew Zerfahs! I had last Friday off as our normal childcare arrangements couldn't happen. He was cute all morning but in the afternoon turned into a demon Octopus!! One glass door from our TV unit now has a large crack running from corner to corner! Luckily he hasn't been near the washing machine so can't be blamed for that going to the great scrap yard in the sky! But he could be partially to blame as our washing loads have really increased over the last 17 months for some reason!!

Mikey is now seriously mobile. We have bought his first pair of shoes, not sure how long it is going to take Andy to get over the price when looked at in comparison the the size of the shoes! Walking happens with the various baby walking devices he has both here and at Nanny and Grandads or when hanging onto sofas or cot sides. But if we need to get anywhere fast he does a great impression of a herd of stampeding elephants across the lounge floor, more often than not when he is trying to distract Daddy from something he isn't meant to be doing!

I'm still living with my headache...in theory I am being referred to a headache clinic but that is reliant on my GP actually sending a letter off. As there are now only 2 full time GP's at the practice I have no idea when (if ever) any letter will actually be sent. But in the meantime I'm trying to not overdose on paracetamol as they are all I have to take as pain relief now and some evenings it hurts so much I just want to curl up and cry. At times the pressure inside my head is so bad I simply want to drill holes in my head to relieve it.

Quiet week!

It's been a rather quiet few days Chez Zerfahs…I have got laryngitis again and my voice appears to have upped and left the building! To be honest it is very painful but at least it takes my mind off my headache which is now into the 3rd month! I had a CT scan a couple of weeks ago and finally saw a GP about it yesterday. Basically I do still have a brain and the re is nothing scary lurking in there - just very narrow blood vessels which are probably nothing to do with the headache! He also gave me some typed of painkiller but phoned home before I got back to tell me not to take them! Apparently they will have an adverse effect on my asthma which as we are going through a weather change right now is bad already… So I'm still on paracetamol which don't work and drinking gallons of water to try and keep my throat lubricated. Not that helps my voice, it's on a par with my paralysed vocal chord stage in 2008 - if they tell me to hum and cough I'm liable to flatten someone! Mikey thinks it's funny and I keep getting very quizzical looks and this morning he was stroking my throat. Luckily he hasn't got hands big enough to strangle his mum yet!


At the moment I'm grateful for e-mail as I've been trying to talk on the phone and it simply doesn't work - I know people can't hear/understand me and repeating it just puts more strain on a voice which has given up already. But e-mail means I can at least get on and although I should probably be at home resting my voice properly that would leave me with creeping brain death and a hell of a pile of stuff when I get back, I'd prefer to struggle on as I am for now.

Also I don't want to risk causing any more damage than it's already experienced, but I'm missing singing in the car on the way to and from work. OK it isn't a long journey but it's part of my routine and I enjoy it (not sure Mikey does…) I do seem to have caused some amusement at work, everyone around me seems to think it's funny - but I wasn't aware that I made that much noise normally anyway!

Mikey is currently really trying to find his feet, mainly using Daddy as a climbing frame and really not caring where feet, knees and elbows go which results in some odd noises and faces from Daddy - maybe I should try to find him some protection??? But he does keep telling me Mikey isn't getting a sibling - maybe Mikey is making sure he's an only child!?!?!? We can stand up holding something but we appear to have a wobbly bottom and crawling is obviously faster - especially when you can do an impression of a stampeding elephant across the floor! It looks as though this Christmas will be treeless as everything has to be explored and I think no would get a little boring after the 1st 10 minutes!!

Yet another month...nearly Christmas!!!!

First day back after 3 days off with my boys… It was Andy's Birthday last week so we were both off from Wednesday and Mikey was home with us too :) It was so nice to have time as a family and I had forgotten how funny my little boy can be! At one point he was upstairs with Daddy having a nappy change and all I could here was Mikey rabbiting on about something (your guess is as good as mine regarding what he was going on about) and when they came back down Andy was having a real problem keeping a straight face! Our son was looking very serious and still talking about whatever it was that he'd started on up stairs!

On Thursday we headed over to Leeds Castle as our tickets from last year were still valid. Mikey decided that every single person needed to be greeted with a loud 'Hello', and everytime he got one back the legs in the push chair went into overdrive! It was that exciting! But if he was ignored any subsequent greetings got louder and louder until he got at least one back! Unfortunately the birds in the aviary weren't as talkative this time - if they had been I'd imagine we'd still be there! There was also a Latin invasion of the maze, I have to admit I'm not sure if they were Spanish or Italian. I just know they were decidedly loud…Maybe Mikey should have joined them!

Friday was very exciting - I pushed him round to my hairdressers for a trim! His very first as it was nearly long enough to make a couple of small bunches! I was a very proud mum, he sat calmly on my lap and was very good as Abbie snipped away and tidied him up! We didn't go for a major chop so he still has his curls but no longer has mad hair when he wakes up in the morning! Hopefully Nanny will approve as I was warned not to let him end up looking like a thug - even though he acts like one most of the time! (Toy chucking is a favourite occupation at the moment!)

More thinking!!

One thing I'm noticing daily with Mikey now is the number of words he can use - not always the right one, but more and more each day! Last Friday I got him out of his cot to be met with a loud and very clear BEER, which was then repeated over and over until he was giggling too much to actually speak! It did make changing his nappy easier than usual as he was to busy giggling to wriggle! Yesterday over in Canterbury he was introduced to Bramble the cat - to which he loudly exclaimed BEAR and poked the poor cat! My sisters dog today has been ooooarley, Mikey's version of 'poor Barley' which apparently my sister was saying a lot! We also get Hello most of the day and pretty is also another popular word, other words of choice are baby, Yuk and Yum! Sometimes we get Mum - but that is usually when he forgets Yum and food is involved!


I know he is only 14 months old, but it is getting almost impossible to remember life without him now - he is such a huge part of my life I can feel guilty that I'm not paying Andy the attention he deserves - but then again Andy can look after himself, Mikey can't so far…. But on the other hand I do miss the days when I was Heather, rather than 'Mikey's Mum'. I know that is a title I wanted for a very long time, but I also want to be me as well… Not sure if that makes sense but I know what I mean!! I'm amazed Mum's don't end up with schizophrenia! After all at the moment I'm Andy's Wife, Mikey's Mum, URS Scott Wilson's Credit controller and way down at the bottom of the list I'm Heather (Ex Wilson) Zerfahs…No wonder I get confused easily! Maybe I should have a different coloured hat so I know who I'm being at any time????

Another thought I had over the weekend was that I'm missing my hormones! While I was pregnant and just after having Mikey they made my life pretty much hell… but now they've all calmed down or left the building so to speak , I'm missing them! It's hard to say exactly what I'm missing - only that I am missing it whatever it is! I'm sure Andy doesn't miss them - I have now pretty much managed to stop bursting into tears at adverts etc if they are overly cute, but I can't be sure that won't come back if some of last years Christmas adverts are repeated!! Although I did sort of suggest another baby to Andy as a cure for my headache (OK, it is a bit extreme!!) but then I thought a little more and if I'm honest, Mikey as a baby was pretty easy, but right now is a whole different story and not one I'm sure I'd want to repeat at 2 years older! Plus I doubt I'd produce another Mikey and the infamous saying in my family is that if 'Nicky had been born first she would have been an only child' Do I really want to inflict that on Andy and I???? Maybe a cat or kitten is a better idea but I doubt that would help my lack of hormones!!! But it would be cheaper than a baby…. (I doubt this subtle hint will work on my husband, but I already know asking for a kitten doesn't work either :-( I've given up on the puppy idea as we really don't have the space/room for one)

Emotional weekend

This weekend has been emotional for me...but thankfully the people around me have kept me laughing and pulled and pushed me through it!

My first hurdle was Saturday...10 years ago a friend died on the Friday and Andy hugged me all through the last night of the proms as I cried. We weren't married then but the Last Night always brings the memories back. Yesterday was made easier by the odd soprano who murdered some Rogers and Hammerstein before appearing in what can only be described as a cartoon get up for Rule Britannia... Her hat almost took off which did make me giggle!

Today was the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and the failed attack on the Capitol Building. I remember watching the news unfold on my PC at work and through various hone calls home as we kept losing the connection, and finding it almost impossible to believe what I was watching... I was used to terrorist attacks in the UK and in Europe thanks to various organisations (IRA etc) but there hadn't been any attack on mainland USA before just their embassy's abroad and one Naval ship. It was the day after that I heard someone I knew had been in one of the Towers but hadn't made it out before they collapsed. He was one of the sweetest men I had ever met and like so many other deaths at the hands of terrorists his was so pointless and I have no idea what killing him and the thousands of other people achieved other than to drag the western world into a war in the middle east where yet more totally innocent people have died. I was OK until they stared to read the lists of the names of the victims, then my tears started to fall again over such a waste of life...many of whom were doing work like I've done and still do, just earning a living for their families - nothing political or damaging to anyone else.

This afternoon we dashed over to Canterbury to see Andy's step mother who is briefly home from hospital. She has a couple of aneurysms which will need to be operated on so we 3 nipped over to see her, Mikey was on fine form and soon was taking on Grandad in a crawling competition around the kitchen...I wish I'd had a video camera with me! He also discovered quickly that if he cried he got chocolate buttons, I'm expecting him to pick up his Oscar next year after the performance he gave this afternoon! He did fall asleep on the way home - not a huge surprise after all the crawling races!!

August to September!

I have been meaning to update this for ages…but then again I've updated much more frequently than some other people so I'm not going to feel bad!!

Life has been pretty normal recently, Mikey has had his first experience of Bat Camp (he only visited for an afternoon, only 17 years until he can attend, although I doubt that it'll still be happening then!) The mad Spaniard has tried to convince him he wants to hack into the Pentagon and let him loose with his phone to try (thank goodness for toddler lock!!) Oh, and Mikey met a piggle! But he really isn't going to get one for Christmas as I know who would have to do the cleaning out and I've done that in the winter in the past so I'm not ready to do it again!

Currently Mikey is showing absolutely no inclination to walk! He is happy speed crawling and can get into trouble far to quickly doing just that. He has discovered buttons as well - he reprogrammed Grandad's Sky box and got his DVD player going at full volume without really doing anything….maybe he can control gadgets with the power of his mind!?!?!?!? I really must stop watching Dr Who! Mikey is now the proud owner of a sit on/push along car thing - but he only goes backwards!!?!?!? I guess that does lend itself to a comment about how the male brain works, but I love my little boy and I have his whole life to try to influence how his brain works (Bwa ha ha….evil mother laugh time!)

IN OTHER NEWS…. I have got my infamous headache back again, it did appear in the New Year but my Dr was more interested in arthritis so ignored it, I then started anew job so pushed it (literally) to the back of my mind, but about 5 weeks ago it came back with pain I haven't experienced for years. After a couple of weeks I gave in and saw a Dr (a locum as usual) who said it was a tension headache and gave me anti depressants which totally zombiefied me. I went back last week and saw yet another locum (who was about 16) who went for the inner ear infection diagnosis, even though I have no ear pain of any kind, but based on the fact I keep throwing up and going dizzy (I do have a headache - which could be having that effect!!) The pain this week is getting worse, but seeing as the weather is horrible I guess that is affecting how my head feels so I really don’t feel up to seeing yet another locum and being given whichever tablets are this weeks special offer.

Last weekend was my Dad's Birthday so all 3 of us (I love saying that) whizzed up the M20 on Saturday morning for a birthday BBQ, I went into proud Mum mode as a neighbours grandson was there who is a couple of month younger than Mikey and he played really well with him - he didn't even throw a toy at him or grab anything Matthew was playing with. the only things they both tried to grab was each others juice cup, but in Mikey's defence he has got one exactly like the one Matthew had at home! He tried a burger at lunch time but wasn't too impressed and preferred his fromage frais! By the time we got round to his spaghetti in the afternoon I think the poor little thing was starving so demolished it along with his bread and butter, slight carb overload but with all the dashing around the garden he did use up an awful lot of energy!

Sunday was quieter, he got to flirt with Emma again which is always a good thing so far as Mikey is concerned, she is much more fun that his old decrepit mother (Plus he doesn't see her everyday!) and he got part of a cookie and I think Nanny fed him far too much chocolate (I saw the state of his bed when I got him up on Monday morning) and he also had a toy change over…the animal train is now back downstairs along with his ark (If anyone has any fisher price animals they no longer want, he only has zebras giraffes and a couple of lions, so they would be welcomed on board!) I think it may be time for the storey of Noah's ark soon so he has an idea of what it is all about!

I also want to get his christening sorted soon…I had wanted it done soon after we came home from hospital but that was simply me being a paranoid mother, but it is something I wasn’t to have done preferable in the church we got married in, which is also where my sister got married and my nephew was christened…I suppose it is the closest thing we have to a family church - plus I helped runt he guide company there for ages and my sister met her husband at a youth group there so it has special memories for all of us!

1 other thing I'm looking forward to is Mikey being big enough to give me a hug… I admit I'm a softy but I'm also female and we need hugs on a regular basis just to keep us going….

Please can we have a little more summer?

This is not a good day - and it is purely down to the weather. I sometimes wonder if I am a victim of SAD as when it is grey and horrible like today I feel awful. Although my gorgeous little boy did make me laugh this morning - I'd tried my best to make sure he was protected against the deluge that was underway outside - but he was adamant that he wasn't having either hid sweatshirt hood or coat hood up. As we stepped outside the back door (well I stepped, he was carried) all IO could hear was a very loud 'UCK' and you just knew what sort of feeling he was trying to convey! So I am assuming that Uck in Mikey translates to Yuk! He was then silent for the whole trip to the childminder, no singing or anything - I have a feeling he was in sulk mode! And I know I shouldn't project what I think he is thinking but this morning it was just too easy and it cheered me up!!


I think Mikey was slightly disconcerted this morning as he is the only child there today…he was trying to look around the door into the lounge to see if anyone was there! I assume the Jack will be around so Mikey will get to try to turn off his PS whilst he's playing again! And also get lots of attention - which will suit him down to the ground after having had Nanny and Grandad running around after him yesterday! Apparently at one point Grandad was pretending to be a Giraffe…but seeing as Grandad tries to convince Mikey that his cow is a horse I'm not sure if he was really being a giraffe or maybe he was a panda….your guess is as good as mine!

My main problem today is actually getting inspired to do anything…I'm also shivering, probably due to this horrific weather! I'[m sure the office isn't actually as cold as I seem to think it is. My fingers are so cold that typing hurts and my spelling is unbelievably bad (not that it is ever good…thank goodness for spell check!) But my atrocious spelling doesn't slow the system down - it seems to be doing that for no reason at all , all by itself!

I am also sulking that my tube of Smarties seems to be missing the orange ones. At one point you could buy tubes of just orange Smarties….why did they stop doing that?? I like the orange ones far more than the others, the chocolate in them seems to be really grainy and the flavour isn't nice :-(

My nemesis is driving me up the wall as well today…the photocopier has dared to go wrong and the nice engineer has been out and fixed it - but it isn't good enough! As the poor man has pointed out the machine is old and basically wearing out so he can't get the resolution any better…Cue major sighing and whinging. I have been plugged into my Ipod trying to block some of the noise out but I failed miserable and I really can't take much more of this. He gives old women a bad name! And I can't even move around the desk and use Alan's desk as he has a laptop docking station and I have a PC :-( Although there is a strong chance I will move my PC around there so I can escape for a while….

My other problem during the day today has been shivering…I don't think the office has been cold - just me! I think whatever bug I've had over the last few days is still lurking and tomorrow I'm seriously considering wearing a nice warm jumper (do I sound really old now?!?!?!?) Although the forecast tomorrow is at least dry…I'd really like to see that big yellow thing that makes you feel warm if at all possible please!

Time Travel???

Well I currently feel as thought I've time travelled backwards to 2009…my infamous headache is back and making my life miserable right now (especially as Mikey has discovered that the table flap on the dining table makes a fantastic drum by either banging it or head butting it - bless him) It must be bad as I've even been to see a Dr… It's safe to assume I'll never see him again due to the wonders of my GP Surgery! They seem to get through Drs faster than I get through painkillers at the moment…heaven knows when this much heralded management change will happen, so for the moment they are happily bumbling along and making life as difficult for patients as they can! I was sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour on Monday and saw how rude the receptionists were to the people who came in. There was absolutely no need for the way they reacted to some people and I can quite understand why some people get so angry and upset, they aren't treated like human beings, just imbecilic beings who happen to have wandered in to make the receptionists like hell…


Not much has really happened recently … Mikey is still eating like a pig if we let him! He really is a bottomless pit in his head, and his cruel mother simply doesn't understand his need for constant refuelling! But if he slowed down the speed crawling a little life may become less focussed on where his next meal/snack etc will appear from! I'm not sure the pasta sandwiches he got on Monday helped and they are not something I'm planning to repeat any time soon! He did try raspberries again on Saturday…from the look on his face I think they may have been a little sharp! I was laughing too much to take a photo but a magic star soon helped to take his mind off it! He does like strawberries though… and raisins are almost as good as buttons, but the resulting nappies are not fun!!

Andy is currently redoing the Murder Mystery Party from last year for work, he did an article for an in-house e-mag about a hobby when he referred to it, next thing is he's re-doing it for his work colleagues…I only hope Dr Plum lives up to my original portrayal of her!

At work the system is on a major go slow…maybe we need new hamsters or even feed those we already have so they have a little more energy…Does Red Bull work on rodents??? My nemesis is also back from his holiday so the noise in my bit of the office has increased 10000000 fold… not helping my poor old head and retreating into the world of my Ipod isn't helping either - and if I listen to Paul McKenna I'll fall asleep! Not ideal (but very tempting!)

2012...welcome World to the UK

London riots: Man, 26, shot in Croydon dies in hospital

A 26-year-old man shot in a car during riots in Croydon has died in hospital.

The Metropolitan Police's Operation Trident launched an investigation after the man was found with gunshot wounds in his car on Monday night.

Why am I now worried this will spark off yet more imbecilic behaviour tonight? BBC News this morning had audio of a couple of youths trying to decide it they should go and loot Dagenham's to 'get some watches' and I'm not being racist, but the language and the sound of their voices implied they were black. I am sorry that the 29 year old was shot on Thursday - but whatever the circumstances surrounding that shooting it really can't ever justify the violence and criminal behaviour that has spread across London and other parts of the UK over the last few nights. There was even a mini riot in Medway last night with cars and rubbish bins being set alight - but apparently those responsible arrived in the area by train, so weren't even local scum.

I have read peoples views that the police haven't don enough…Just what do they expect them to do? If they go in heavy handed (which I feel they should ) then there would be loads of wailing about Police Brutality, and when they don't they aren't doing enough. I'm sorry, but the commanders should now be given a loose rein and allowed to do whatever they feel is needed to regain control - so long as they also provide security for the hospital staff who will be expected to provide sympathy and patch up anyone who gets caught by a copper having a bad evening.

Next year we are hosting the Olympic Games - famously about sporting behaviour and doing the best that you can. So far as I know looting is not yet an Olympic Sport so we don't need the trails the yobs are currently taking part in… They'd only try to nick the medals anyway.

I'm also worried about my sister's brother-in-law…he's in the Met and I'm sure was sent in over the weekend…OK, he is up on a horse, but that makes him a more obvious target and those morons won't even think he may have a family who love him and really don't want him getting pulled off his horse and injured as he tries to stop them pinching a mobile from a phone shop. There are far more important things happening in the world right now… Although being very selfish it is nice that the US and their credit rating has been knocked off the news for a day or so, but I'd rather not see the future of England behaving like idiots and being brainwashed by Mob Rule.

I also was shocked that an 11 year old was arrested over the weekend…maybe I'm old fashioned but what was an 11 year old doing out in the early hours anyway? I am going to be an over protective mother I feel - no way will Mikey be anywhere I don't know about when he is 11. I don't care about giving him his freedom, I'm more concerned about his safety. And what sort of parent would let a child go out when all 'that' was going on anyway? Maybe the parents should be arrested as well and made to explain how they let their child get into a situation where he could have been killed. Maybe that should also be a criminal offence too… I feel that I should be running the country -at least that way I could get my hands on a tank or 50! That would soon stop the riots and reduce the number of people claiming benefit as well…..

Right - that is civil unrest and the welfare money problem sorted….what next?!?!? (I think I may need a campaign manager to stop me wanting to drive over potential voters in my tank….)

Monday....Urgh

New week again! I know weekends can go fast but why do mine seem to last for a couple of seconds and are them over and it's Monday morning again? This morning wasn't helped by my alarm clock playing up yet again! My alarm went off at 6.30 (as normal) and I went into snooze mode (again as normal) until it said 7.02 when I thumped the sleeping man beside me and asked if he was going to get up this morning! The response I got was 'Have you checked the time on your phone?' and when I did it was only 6.21am! 'm not sure why my alarm clock is not running 40 minutes ahead of itself as it is supposedly set by the atomic clock and is completely accurate!!! I guess this evening it'll be battery out and re-set time! I really don't want to be woken up 40 minutes early again tomorrow! (Thinking back Mikey was being very quiet whilst I was snoozing…..)

One thing I did have time for over the weekend was a quick hair colour change! I had noticed far too many grey hairs last week whilst it was being chopped, so I decided to do some cover up action! It is now allegedly mid auburn… as I dried it yesterday morning it started to look pink!! That led to a minor panic, but as I dried the rest it looked slightly more normal (well for me anyway!!) Not sure I'll try this colour again…maybe next time I'll do for brown again as my hair is far too good at going red… I think it's a genetic thing as my Grandmother and Uncle were both red heads!

My original plan of having a photography session didn't happen. Probably mainly due to the weather - everytime I stepped outside I got rained on and after the 1st couple of times it gets decidedly boring and I take steps to avoid the dampness as much as I can! I did get some photos back that I've had printed, but I've bought a new album as the 2nd Mikey album is nearly full now, but Mikey kept 'helping' which mainly involves folding pages up so I didn’t get the photos sorted or slotted into their new homes - maybe I'll make a start on them this evening!

One other think I need to do this week is make a Drs appointment. I took my prescription application form into the GP surgery about 3 weeks ago and haven't heard anything since. Based on their normal 'helpfulness' I would imagine they have lost this as well as the original one I took in just before I found out I was pregnant. They would be totally unable to arrange the proverbial in a brewery without someone telling them what to do. The sooner the new management team are put in the better…but all that seems to have gone quiet again although the girls in the pharmacy did tell me they have now managed to get a few more permanent Drs now….

And seeing how many different things they seem to think I need to take to keep going I would quite like some help paying for it all as at £7.60 (I think) per item it all mounts up scarily fast…Or they can just give me more per prescription so I don't have to get it all renewed so often. It isn't as if any of it is exactly dangerous….I stopped taking all that stuff when I first found out Mikey was on the way and haven't had any of it since (and don't intend to) so I'm hardly likely to try and deal in any of the stuff I'm on! None of it gives an artificial high…mainly it keeps my blood pressure, uric acid and cholesterol levels down and keeps my blood sugar on an even keel… nothing earth shatteringly desirable there really!

Mikey is now really into speed crawling - and I am going to have to get him a baby crash helmet! He simply doesn't look where he is going and seems to know no fear right now (and no - that does not mean you can fly him from a kite….) This weekend he has crawled…at speed…. into the sofa (again) the dining table and Daddy and Mummy. What I find totally hilarious is the fact he doesn't stop when he hits something, just keeps going as if he will simply go straight through whatever the obstacle is! He has also started trying to work out how to climb over Daddy…I think wrestling may commence soon and my money is no Mikey! For one thing I doubt he’ll be very sporting…and he has nails!

Am I glad it's Friday!

It's been a tough week this week….but the beginning wasn't too bad thank goodness, it's just gone downhill from Monday really!


The first disaster was a husband with toothache - never a fun experience and I'm afraid I wasn't exactly sympathetic as it's been going on for weeks (possibly months) and he hasn't bothered to go to the dentist (which is within walking distance) He finally booked an appointment for Wednesday evening which meant he was miserable for Tina's Birthday evening (sorry about that) and didn't make it to work on Wednesday as he was dizzy from the pain killers he was taking and it was hurting (his sympathetic wife just said to phone the dentist and see if they had any cancellations to get in earlier)

Thursday didn't start any better - even after his treatment he was still in pain (so I didn't get much rest as he was up and down during the night) and then Mikey decided to fall over and bump his head. He stopped screaming as soon as breakfast was shovelled into his mouth and by the time I delivered him to the childminder he was totally fine, although he did have the start of a nice egg/bruise on his forehead poor little mite. Wonderful Debbie kept a close eye on him all day for me but he ate all his lunch (plus some of the other Kids lunches as well) and had a nice nap before being educated in the joys of skateboarding….He is not having one of those until he is old enough to leave home!

Debbie also pointed out once he is walking he will get even more bumps and bruises…but it didn't stop me pretty much going into shock and by the time I got to work I was a wreck and had to have a bloody good cry. (and get some reassurance from my Mum and Dad….) Yesterday evening Andy was out and I was so scared about changing Mikey I insisted on getting him ready for bed in his cot - talk about a confused little boy who really didn't want to be helpful…he was also confused this morning when after changing his nappy on his changing mat we moved back to his cot to get dressed - but it was better for mummy's sanity as she couldn't let him fall when he's sat on his mattress!

Andy has gone back to work today, although I think he had less sleep than me last night, and Mikey has gone to Nanny and Grandad so is probably having a wonderful day, I know he was going to the supermarket which he loves as there is so much to see, loads of colour and plenty of people who are likely to make a fuss of him (my son can be such a tart!) The only thing you have to do is watch what he puts into the trolley! If something catches his eye he grabs it…or makes a good try and can get ratty if he can't get hold of it! I think he is close to having a shopping addiction at 1!! We may have created a monster….

Not much planned for the weekend…I may try to catch up on some sleep which is a bit of a waste of the weekend but I am just feeling a bit drained and this morning the nicest description I could come up with for my complexion was grey and washed out… or I find somewhere comfortable and sit and soak up some sun trying to change colour!! And with the amount of painkillers my husband has managed to get through he’ll probably be asleep too (no change there really!!!) Or I may try to get a few more photos of Mikey (it isn't like I haven't already taken 100's…) especially as it gives me an excuse to play around with the black and white setting - I know colour is good, but there is just something about black and white that I love! Plus being a proud Mum I quite like taking photos of my little monster, especially as he is changing so fast and growing up so quickly, I was looking at some 24 hour old photos last night and I could hardly recognise him as the same little boy. He really won't be my baby in looks at least for much longer!! I can be an embarrassing mother and call him my baby for the rest of his life though - And believe me, I will!!!

All Change!!

The hair has now gone!!! And so far it's working, the only reaction I've had from Mikey was Wooooo as I waked in and he hasn't tried to grab my hair at all. I haven't really had any reaction from Andy yet, hopefully I may get one eventually!

We went out for lunch today, I wanted to just have some time for the 3 of us but I couldn't get a babysitter of this evening so we went out for lunch. We went to 'The Atrium' in Rochester and it was wonderful. It's a small restaurant but I'm afraid I can't comment on the beer selection as I don't think it's high on their list of priorities!

The place is right on the High Street and quite close to the Cathedral so we had bells pealing through most of lunch as there was a rather large wedding happening, they had good taste in Wedding cars as the one parked by the main door was from Odds cars, the firm our wedding car came from. But it didn't inspire and romantic gestures from Andy - he didn't even hold my hand :(

Getting over to Medway this morning was fun...the M20 was closed so we went via Faversham and the M2, I'd forgotten how much I hate that trip but at least it meant Mikey could have a nap on the way there and coming home the M20 was re-opened so it was much easier! It also meant that he arrived at Nanny and Grandad's ready for lunch which he demolished pretty thoroughly!

Mikey had a wonderful time with Nanny, Grandad and Barley (who is still missing the other part of the family whilst they're in the US - I think Nanny is looking forward to having a dog free bed eventually!) We've hit the next milestone and have finally mastered crawling forward on hands and knees rather than commando crawling forwards and reversing in the correct position, so tomorrow we need to pick up the stair gates and blitz the lounge as now he know what he's doing I have a feeling stopping him is going to be pretty much impossible! Luckily Barley has had sofas and the garden as escape routes, Mikey can't get outside on his own yet...although he has mastered opening and closing doors so long as he remembers to keep his legs out of the way!!

Whittering time....

Time for a whinge…so I apologise now! But this page is for me to whitter on and right now that's what I need to do! For some reason at the moment I am absolutely exhausted, lethargic is an understatement and I could easily sleep around the clock - plus my infamous headache seems to be trying to reassert it's dominance. There is no point talking to my GP as if you mention headache they simply shut down and ignore you (oh and prescribe paracetamol which do precisely nothing to help)


Mikey isn't helping either bless him…he is getting more and more vocal now and seems to think Mummy and Daddy understand every word he says. And if for some reason they don't he just repeats it louder again and again until they do! He's also getting more and more mobile…Andy is really going to have to bring the stair gates home soon as I don't think it'll be long until he tried to pull himself up the stairs and if you take your eyes off him for a second he is off! I suppose I could just get an extending dog lead and tether him somewhere (I'm being a bad mother again :( sorry)

I'm still totally shattered - Mikey was awake at 4am for the 2nd morning running and he seems to be thriving on it! Me on the other hand - not so good! I went to bed at a sensible time but couldn't fall asleep…and even when I did apparently I was talking in my sleep so relaxation wasn't happening. I have no recollection of any dreams so I have no idea what I was being responsible for or who the staff were that I was worrying about. It was probably another Norfolkline flashback/nightmare, one day I'll grow out of them and at least I'm not screaming in my sleep! (That'll probably be tonight!)

I've just read a report on the 'man' (In the loosest possible term) who carried out the attacks in Norway. It's starting to look as thought his defence is going to be insanity. He believes that his actions will be totally vindicated in 60 years time…I'm sure the families of his victims who were pretty much randomly selected will have forgiven him by then and will understand that their loved ones had to die - or at least they will if the world turns into cloud cuckoo land. What also annoys me is Norwegian law restricts his sentence to 21 years unless he's convicted of crimes against humanity, then it can go up to 30. In reality he should be locked in a nice dark, damp dungeon somewhere and left to rot… and then I'm happy to keep the key somewhere safe! It'd never be seen again…such a shame! The events in Oslo really upset me, it is one of my favourite places in the world and when we were there in 2009 on Norway day it was packed with thousands and thousands of people, some celebrating rather hard! And I never felt in even the slightest bit of danger - even with my map reading skills trying to get us back to the ship! The Norwegian people I have met have always been very very friendly and helpful, you never feel as though you are a stranger ion their country, you are just a welcome guest they want to get to know. I guess in a naïve way that's how I['d like the whole of this planet to be… We're all the same species so why should there be issues and problems between countries??

This is all getting a little deep for a Tuesday with a headache! Maybe it’s time for the big pink pain pills (try saying that quickly with a headache!!) After all I really don't think you can rattle too much every day… And I'm seriously considering running for office in Norway so I can deal with the big. blond bully.

My last 2 weeks have only been 4 days…last Friday I had to have a diabetes eye test - not fun as it was VERY sunny and the drops really stung and then I have very dilated pupils so the sun seemed even brighter than it really was! Thankfully my eyes seemed back to normal (well normal for me) by 4ish, I have to admit nappy changing when they were at their worst was fun - Mikey wriggles at the best of the time but at one point I could see several of him!


Monday was Mikey's turn to go to the Drs - it was injection time and he had to have 3 - one of which was the famous MMR. He also had the Meningitis C, HIB and pneumonia vaccine - I was advised to give him a dose of Calpol before I took him and a chocolate drop per injection seemed to cheer him up fairly quickly (Maybe Mummy should have had some as she got traumatised too when he screamed) The silly nurse also thought he was jaundiced as he's got a tan…and when I said it was a tan and nothing worse I got lectured about putting sun cream on him….do I really look this stupid? (Answers not required!)

When we got home Mikey decided the best way to deal with injections was to fall asleep. I have to admit that I just watched him breath for ages - something I haven't done since he was first moved into SCBU (told you I was traumatised) But since then he's just got on with being Mikey! He is getting more and more talkative and we are crawling backwards fairly quickly - forwards is a pretty impressive commando crawl! And I'm convinced he was eyeing up the sofa this morning to see if he can pull himself up. But I guess the next stage has to arrive at some point whether I want it to or not! The photo is Mikey sleeping off he trauma!!

As for me at the moment I feel rough and look rougher…Much as I love and adore my son when I had my week off I would have loved a day when all I had to worry about was me… Does that make me a bad mother? I'd just like a day when I can be the me I used to be rather than being someone's wife or mother… But I guess I'll never have that again - I will be Mikey's Mum for the rest of my life, but then again I did want that and have been trying for a very long time to achieve my desire!

It's been a quiet day at work today… I had a very productive morning but now I am tempted to just put my head on my desk and sleep…If I switch desks and borrow Tess' desk nobody could see me and I may get away with it! But then again my manager did say I could leave at 4 as I'm feeling so crap so I might just go home and sleep… I just need to wake up while Andy is out so I can put Mikey to bed, in another bad Mother moment I hope he's tired so he'll want to go up a little early and then I can go to sleep again!! He really deserves a more caring Mum, poor little mite (OK, not so little now - yesterday he was eating chicken, chips and salad - (lunch at the pub!) and apparently got angry whenever Debbie stopped feeding him - we may well have created a monster!!)

Nothing planned for this weekend or the foreseeable future - although I am now seriously thinking about getting my hair chopped off. I seem to have got into the habit of shutting it in my car door for some reason - and have taken to swearing in German because of the small ears usually sat behind me! Plus I want a change, I'm fed up with usually having it in a pony tail so I think it's time to actually get a style of some sort again…this time comments are invited as I have no idea what I want other than it just to be different! And not the grade 2 someone suggested last night! But I'm not going blonde again - been there and done it, I think I may stay as a brunette now, with just home colours to hide the signs of aging as they grow…But if I get round to making an appointment hopefully it'll happen next weekend so I'll at least have that to look forward to.

Milestone achieved....

Well I survived! I was supposed to see my neurologist on the morning of my birthday but he got a puncture! OK, so it was in Belgium and he never actually made it over the channel so it wasn't the greatest of starts! The day vastly improved when we got to Mum and Dads though... the first glass of bubbly always helps plus one of my favourite things for lunch followed by Mums version of Eton Mess with Raspberries rather than strawberries and I was in heaven! The cake was made by my younger sister (as she keeps reminding me) and one small person was VERY fond of the over sized chocolate buttons....

In the Evening Sue and Dave came over so I hit another bottle of the bubbly stuff and it's safe to say it was strong! One glass and I was slightly off balance.... two and standing was a slight challenge!! Thankfully Friday wasn't a very early start in Mikey world and I got up, changed him and left Andy to do breakfast spooning into mouth type stuff! I retired back to bed for a while before venturing downstairs to see if my head could cope with early morning Disney Junior! (It couldn't...It is safe to say it hurt!) The original plan for Friday had been to go to Leeds Castle but the forecast wasn't brilliant so we chickened out and had a veg out day at home! It has been nice this week to just have time to be the 3 of us... something we don't really get much chance to do!

Yesterday was a challenge for Andy as he organised his first ever BBQ!! Dad had got us a charcoal chimney for starting the coals off which made things easier for him, but he did all the cooking and even did things like hard boil eggs for the salad (OK, I put the salad together but he was cooking the meat at the time!) He handled it all really well and even cleaned the grill afterwards! Once it starts to get warmer again I feel another BBQ coming on!!

Coming up stuff is not so much fun I'm afraid... on Friday I have my diabetes eye test. So far I've avoided having to have the drops to dilate my pupils as I was pregnant, that excuse is no longer valid so thankfully Mum is coming over to drive me to the test. I am capable of driving there but I can't drive after it and then next Monday poor Mikey has his next load of injections. The 3 he should have at 12 months plus his first MMR, which is spposed to be 13 months. I wasn't happy about them all being done in one go, but I've had a strong recommendation for get the MMR done as there is a good chance a measles epidemic is on the way and it can still be lethal for small people so I want him protected asap.

Bloody awful Mother...who cried for most of Sunday

It appears that I'm a terrible mother. I have let Mikey have a few treats as I'm having a birthday. He has had a tiny amount of birthday cake, the cream off a slice of banoffee pie and a taste of a doughnut. Apparently he is now going to be obese and his teeth are going to fall out. The person who made this accusation has never seen my son and has no idea that at his 12 month check up his growth and weight were classed as perfectly normal with no need for any concern - and this was at the end of June so not that long ago! I am proud that I have a happy, friendly child who so far has no sign of any fussy eating as he is trying a wide variety of foods - mostly in very small amounts and well controlled so he has an interesting and balanced diet, with the odd treat and a supply of fruit which he happily eats (more than me to be honest!) These accusations left me in tears for most of yesterday afternoon but my family and a wonderful friend jumped to my defence - something I am very grateful for. I am now seriously considering cancelling/closing my facebook page and wish I had a way of passing on just how hurt I am. I would have preferred to have had a private message rather than being accused publically of making my son obese etc.

Sorry for the rant but I have been hurt by this - those people who actually know me will know that we waited a very long time to be lucky enough to have Mikey and had enough scares during my pregnancy....add in my past medical history and Mikey is, in my mind a bit of a miracle and there is no way I will ever put my son at any risk...If someone has a problem about how I treat my son I'd happily discuss it calmly with them in person - and they really should at least see how Mikey and I interact and how healthy,happy and normal weighted he is.

Next week....

I am now seriously considering cancelling my birthday…not only am I dreading reaching 'That' age but I now have a neurology appointment in the morning :( I had a slight panic when the secretary phoned me to book me in as she mentioned Dr Pollock… Now we really don't like him as he is really good at scaring me half to death and is based in Canterbury which is not fun to get to and parking is horrific! At least my appointment is in Ashford and is at 9.00am so parking shouldn’t be too bad! Another plus point (As I'm being positive here ) is I quite like the Dr I see in Ashford - he doesn't tell me stuff like I'm liable to end up with MS etc when I'm alone and having to drive home from Canterbury in the rain (I managed that whilst crying my eyes out - looking back I'm quite proud of me!)


It looks like it's going to be a medical sort of week as I have blood tests on Monday morning and I was thinking about booking in a diabetes review - not sure I can be bothered now especially as I have a diabetes eye test the week after…

One day I will be problem free and won't have to take loads of pills (which I've just remembered I forgot this morning!) Maybe I do need to see a neurologist after all! So long as he doesn't stick me back in a MRI machine as I really hate those with a passion - Andy doesn't mind me going in them so long as he gets coffee!!

Dropping Mikey off this morning was fun! Mikey was fine and for once hadn't filled his nappy so smelt relatively sweet… But there was uproar at Debbie's! Apparently a new fan had stopped working and there were various small people offering reasons why this had happened! As I left Mikey was being dispatched to beat them up and restore order…I have always said my son is a thug - you don’t let the angelic blond curls fool you! I wouldn't argue with him, especially now he's worked out how his teeth work!

Today is thankfully a little cooler than yesterday was - trying to get Mikey's bedroom cool was a real battle. He ended up with the fan going most of the night and seems to like laying with his feet on the bars in the breeze! My main issue at the moment is finding cool stuff for him to sleep in…he's grown out of most of his vests and we only have 1 short sleeved one lurking - I guess I need to go clothes shopping for my little man! He certainly doesn't need a sleeping bag right now! I think after yesterday he'd happily sleep in his paddling pool if we could work out how to keep his head above water… I'll give that some thought this afternoon. If I solve it I'll add it to my new business making weight reducing chocolate cakes etc!

But my next challenge today will be dinner for Andy and I - I really don’t' want to cook and I don’t think we have anything that can be eaten raw in the fridge. I didn't plan this too well did I! But then again who believes the weather forecasters are going to get something right!?!?!?!? I do have to admit that I have an umbrella with me today….I'm fed up getting wet!! (The storm has just hit - and hit is the exact word form the noise!)

I did write a blog entry earlier this week - it is still sat in my e-mail as I never quite got around to publishing it! Until today at least!!

This has been an odd sort of week to be honest…the main excitement being Mikey hitting 1! I never thought I'd be able to write about my child having their 1st birthday, it still makes me a little tearful as it was something I'd wanted for so long and I'd pretty much accepted was never ever going to happen for me - especially after the fiasco of 2008. I still think the surgeon blasted more than the kidney stones in September 08 - or maybe the big collider thing in Switzerland affected the procedure as that started whilst I was in theatre! What ever happened we got the most gorgeous little boy and to be honest I think we've had it easy so far when you read some of the horror stories of sleepless months etc - he was sleeping through from 4 months and still is not a morning person - once he's asleep he likes to stay that way for as long as he can! All we need to do now is teach him about the Sunday morning lie in! One concept he has yet to grasp - but I guess I'll need to teach him the days of the week first!

Yesterday evening we built his present from Auntie Nicky and Uncle Miff. He is now the proud owner of a Smart Trike and I want one too! But I doubt Andy could push both of us…. We're off to the school fair tomorrow as Mickey Mouse, Minnie and Buzz Lightyear are due to appear! We don't really know yet who Buzz is but he should be colourful so good to look at! Plus I really want to get Mikey into that school so it's never too early to start being supportive parents!

One other thing weighing slightly on my mind is a certain countdown…I now have less than 2 weeks of my 30's left. I vary from day to day how I feel about the change of number - as really that is all that it is! And I always used to prefer 4 to 3 as I found it easier to write 4! I have also failed miserably with my list of things to do before I hit 40 - maybe I'll follow Andy's example and make it a list to do in my 40th year… any volunteers to see a male stripper etc with me? I also really want to go up in the London Eye - and thinking about my husbands terror of heights I think I'll need a volunteer for that one too!

One other job we need to do this weekend is build a BBQ! Mum and Dad have bought me one for my birthday and right now it's sat in a box - not helpful when we'll need to cook on it next weekend! Maybe I'll do what I did with the trike - get it all out of the box and start building , Andy then looks on in horror and takes over! It also means he can pretend he's Handy Manny with power tools - I'm sure he was singing the song last night! It made a nice chance from Tim Taylor style grunts!

He's done really well this week and lost 6lbs… we have no idea how but are putting it down to the cake I made for Mikey! Devils food cake with chocolate fudge icing is now officially a weight loss staple…maybe I should start a new career!!! I could use the help right now as I am having a major attack of the munchies!

21st June

For some reason at the moment I am in a really foul mood…and it hasn't been helped by trying to work in what can best be described as a total madhouse! The noise levels this morning we pretty much too high for me to cope with and not even the trusty I-pod could drown it into a background roar. I'm fairly sure even Mikey in full blown scream mode wouldn't have drowned it all out and it made trying to concentrate an impossible task and hasn't helped my headache.


I'm also of the opinion that the Midlands are possibly one of the most laid back areas in the UK - they certainly aren't the most helpful as I've found and never seem to want to rush - why use 1 word when you could drawl out 10 or so… I can say with a fair degree of certainty that I didn't get any helpful answers and was pretty much told to call back next week when someone might be able to assist a little (If I'm lucky!!) It was a total waste of my time and hasn't exactly encouraged me to crack on with the list of things I have to do right now!

Most of this weekend was spent celebrating a small man's very 1st birthday! He is now able to open parcels (with a little help provided nobody has gone mad with the sellotape!) but really isn't bothered by cards or presents that resemble clothing! He spent most of Sunday afternoon with a Duplo brick in his mouth or eating chocolate cake (so his mothers cooking can't be too horrific!) He's also had his 12 month review and flirted with the advisor trying to do it! Well she was blond and they have always been his preference! I'm still trying to work out what has happened to the last 12 months… was I stuck in another coma for part of it as I can't remember it being a year since I had him! But looking at the size of him now I'm relieved I didn't have him recently! But he's been weighed and measured and everyone is perfectly happy with how he is getting on! Which in turn means he has a happy Mum! Just crawling and walking milestones to hit now…I can't wait until he can walk as carrying him is getting more and more difficult due to his weight and the sheer amount of wriggling he can do - especially when I'm trying to carry him up the stairs - he came very close to being dropped at the weekend simply as he was doing a fantastic impression of an eel and sliding our of my arms!

The hair is still blond and curly - I still have frequent urges to get it cut just to get him looking a little tidier - plus he objects strongly to having it brushed and combing simply won't be tolerated! For a small person he knows his mind and doesn't want to discuss anything he objects to - stubborn is a small understatement!

Andy was lucky and managed to get Monday and today (plus Friday) off work. I could only get Friday but my new boss phoned me yesterday and told me to go home at 4.00 so I could spend some time with my little monster. Andy came and picked me up and as I walked in I got the most amazing smile from my son. It's moments like that which really help me to feel like I'm not a bad/failing mother and just maybe he does like/love me! All I need to do now is master the fasted nappy change in the world as his latest trick is to roll over as much as possible - usually when the nappy is best described as dirty! For a small one he is amazingly capable of creating a massive mess!!

Still in a grump - I need to throw this mood off before I get home as Andy can do grumpy for both of us without me adding to it…maybe I'm just missing my Parents as they are off exploring the Baltic at the moment, doing the cruise we were supposed to do back in 2008 but I wasn't well enough or in a state to cope with it. So jealousy could be sneaking in too.

Oh yes - Mikey got a rocking horse yesterday too and we need a name - Daddy wants to call it Bonnie (as in Tyler as it's a little hoarse - sooooooooo bad) so I need a different name asap - all suggestions gratefully received!

Insanity looms....

It is currently only 09.05 am and I am already close to slapping someone! If I hear the phrase 'lightweight dynamic probe' again I will not be responsible for my actions! I have no idea what one of these is or does and to be honest I know where I'd like it to be probing!! He wasn't in yesterday and the atmosphere was so much more relaxed it was wonderful!


I guess today hasn't had a good start….when my alarm went off I was still feeling so tired I was sure it had to be Saturday morning so rather than snoozing it I turned it off! I then had to rely on Andy getting up to even consider doing the same for me! I did manage to stagger to the bathroom but I've just remembered that my poor teeth didn’t get brushed (mind you I've totally forgotten to take all my morning pills again as well!) Luckily getting Mikey up wasn't too horrific this morning but getting downstairs involved a new(ish) game 'lets see if we can get Mummy to go blue in the face by tightening the chain round her neck' Not one of my favourite pastimes especially when Daddy is sat on the sofa eating breakfast saying 'don't make me come up there' as I choke…

The porridge part of breakfast for Mikey went well, then we got to the milk bit. I think we are starting to get fed up with Milk at breakfast time, it's always a battle and this morning I think we drank a couple of ounces - including the stuff thrown over Mikey and the floor! Now I need to rethink breakfast liquid as I know the cereal bit won't give him enough… I think he's a little young for the full English my nephew demanded from his Mum this morning! It is his birthday though…

It's now mid afternoon and today has had a few successes but rather more failures - but nothing that isn't insurmountable! The only major down is my back is really painful again and I have a feeling I'll need more antibiotics…I really don't have time to see a Dr at the moment and I guess I'm just a little scared they are stones again - but at least this time I'll only need to control any infection (I don’t want to be put in a coma again however much weight I'd lose!!) and then they can zap them again and I'll be out in a day if my blood pressure etc behaves! But recently is has been fine every time they have tested it (although I suppose I have to remember to take the tablets!!) Or I'll just live on painkillers…I suppose that is another option!

My nemesis is still winding me up without even realising how bloody annoying he is! I can only assume there is something about his voice that sets my teeth on edge and makes me want to slap him with a very large and extremely heavy sledge hammer. Maybe I need to destroy something in his place…I feel a trip to the shredder coming on!

Changing times

Most of the change is down to Mikey right now! Today he has happily demolished toast and raspberry jam followed by blackcurrant jelly (Mummy felt the need for a change from fromage frais!) But I wasn't aware just how much mess one piece of toast could be!

He's also happily eating the next stage of baby food so long as some really pureed stuff is added to it...as he shows in the mornings he prefers his porridge more runny than lumpy! I think he may also have 4 teeth at the top but he really isn't happy to let anyone look without sinking them into the viewers fingers, hands or anything else he can get hold of!

Life at work this week has been challenging! The new system is in at least - but I don't appear to exist on it as a collection specialist yet (I quite like that job title!) but slowly some of my old knowledge is fighting it's way to the surface! At least I don't feel that it is completely new to me and it has a small feeling of familiarity to it! Once I have my own ledger to start work on I'll be happier - right now I'm working on someone elses so at least that is being updated! But I did forget to move for most of Friday afternoon - which meant when I did it was most graceful (not) I also got to visit Basingstoke on Tuesday - but I didn't get to see the post office (family joke to do with catalysts)

One thing I have noticed recently is how tired I am...I had out it down to the infection/medication but I've finished all that now and I could still easily sleep for England for hours and hours! Andy and Mikey are both happy to nap during the day but I can't do that and just get ratty when they fall asleep during the day at the weekend and I'm awake and lonely... I so need my cat!! Some female company would be lovely.

Update

The previous blog was actually written earlier this week but my wonderful laptop refused to sign into Blogger so it was sat in my document folder until I managed to trick it into doing what I wanted!

My infection is still doing really well and my foot is fine so long as I don't try to walk anywhere... Plus I've had to resort to wearing shoes that are far too big for me as they don't rub/put pressure on the wrong bits.

Thankfully Andy seems loads better than last weekend - right now he is trying to reason with an 11 month old who is refusing to go to sleep even though we can both see that he is shattered. He really doesn't react to well to logical reason - maybe we should try illogical next??? He certainly isn't going to be a Vulcan...but seeing as his father was trying to teach him Klingon yesterday I should have realised that logic wasn't going to be his strong suit! Plus his ears are certainly not pointed and his blood was red when he was in SCBU!

Mikey is actually trying to sing 'My Way' at the moment as we've just got around to watching last weeks episode if Britains Got Talent! As usual he is getting all the right notes, just not in the right order...

Yesterday we popped over the see Nanny and Grandad, Mikey had a great day but at one point I'm fairly sure he was trying to plan how to use Barley as a horse, the poor dog used to try to get behind Nanny for protection! Plus Golden Retriever tails are very tempting to small fingers and she is very good at wagging it near him

The poor dog kept retreating to the garden, especially when the stacking train  and cups came out as his aim is fairly random - and I'm sure he doesn't mean to throw things at the dog...they just happen to go in that direction all on their own!
This week we get the new computer system at work, it's actually the system I used to use at Norfolkline! But I think this is a newer more expensive version... Hopefully it won't have the month end hiccups I had to get used to before!

Yuk

That word pretty much sums up my weekend…and the week that has followed it to be brutally honest. It started on Saturday with some kind bug biting my neck on my trachy scar, it really really itched but I tried to be good and not scratch it – not an agreement my son managed to stick to and his fingers seemed drawn to it every time I picked him up!


Sunday started off a little better, until Andy woke up and then it was rush time to get Mikey up, dressed and fed before whizzing my other baby off to Casualty. I won’t go into too many details but blood was involved and I’ve seen parts of my husband I’ve never seen before and honestly don’t want to see again! I know hospitals are under pressure but I was bored as we waited for the hours in A&E and I watched a Sister walk between minor and major injuries over and over again without appearing to actually do/achieve anything – plus she only ever walked one way so I can only assume she nipped around the back before repeating her stroll!

Luckily Mikey was next door with Emma, probably terrifying her boyfriend! I just hope the relationship has survived my child!

On Monday I decided my back/kidney pain was not improving so I went back to the Drs. They tried to convince me that I needed to phone Tuesday morning as they had no appointments left (this was mid morning) I refused to accept that and got a tad forceful. Amazingly I got an appointment for that afternoon! I saw the Dr and provided yet another sample to be told that my 3 day antibiotic course last week hadn’t worked… I know I didn’t spend umpteen years at university but I already knew that! My sample has now been sent for testing as the nitrate and white cell level seem very high and I’m now on stronger tablets 4 times a day for the next week!

Tuesday morning was not great either – I was in more pain and apparently having a gout attack on my left foot. Getting any shoes on was painful to say the least and driving was a joke! I delivered Mikey to Debbie and retreated home with my sore foot. It must have been bad as I resorted to NHS Direct last night as I simply wanted the pain to go away, I have now been told to stay off it as much as possible and to keep my liquid intake up (As the Dr on Monday had already told me!) I am now drinking like the proverbial fish and have my foot up so I can’t walk on it. I’ve also been told to stop taking one lot of medication until the attack stops and then start it again as even though I take it to prevent attacks it actually makes them more painful f they do start… the joys of too many tablets I guess.

All I’d like to know is who have I upset to be given the sort of week I appear to be having??? In fact it’s more like a bad month… please bring June on, hopefully it will be better than May.

I need a change...

I feel as though I'm going even more insane than my usual levels of insanity…


I went to my Drs yesterday as my back has been getting more and more painful over the last few days (OK, maybe longer than a few days) and I've found out I have a kidney infection so am now on some decidedly horrible antibiotics. These are making me feel wobbly/dizzy/sick and basically awful. Or at least I'm blaming the pills but I suppose it could be my wonderful Kidneys as well…I'm just praying that the pills sort it out and I haven't created another set of stones. I really don't need those at the moment. The Dr did ask if the pain was like this 3 years ago, but I could honestly say I don’t know - I never really felt it last time plus my memory of that time is a little hazy to say the least! Andy is probably the best person to ask!

I feel even worse for yelling at Mikey this morning as he was just being a baby and refusing to lie still whilst I changed his nappy and got him dressed, I'll apologise to him later as I got very stressed when he decided to roll over and play with the curtains and he was nearly sent to Debbie in his babygro!

This morning I also had to go to the William Harvey to see my consultant about my creaking knees. He is a very sweet man (for a consultant) and to be honest it was a bit of a waste of time as pretty much all I did was tell him I had another acute attack at the start of May but other than that they have behave almost normally (I forgot to tell him about the feeling I have when I think they are bending the wrong way - but then again there is nothing he can do about that anyway!) He very kindly sent me off for yet more blood tests (Well only 1 bottle this time) The whole load he did last time were fine except for the one which got repeated again today, I have to discuss these results with my GP in 4 weeks (If I manage to get an appointment) and it could be my medication will need to be increased. As it is he's told me I'll have to take the tablets I'm on now for the rest of my life - not a nice thought but at least they don’t taste too bad!

I also have physio again this afternoon - not my favourite thing in the world but at least I know now he hasn't caused the pain I've been suffering over the past few (!!) days, hopefully when I tell him what is happening he'll be nice and gentle, a massage would be wonderful right now!

Andy has been at home for the last few days with some kind of stomach bug - I think originally I (or my cooking ) was being blamed but he has now confessed that lots of people at work have been off with the same sort of thing. I really don't care what has caused it so long as I don't catch it too! Maybe I just need a way of venting at the moment as I can feel myself getting more and more stressed which really can't be helping too much and isn't the sort of thing I want Mikey to pick up on…And seeing as he is growing up so fast at the moment he may well pick it up. It's scary that he's 11 months old tomorrow and next month is a year - where on earth has the last year gone? The monkey is still not crawling but is trying really hard to talk, and being a cruel mother I've started trying to teach him the alphabet, we've got A and B although he can sound like Ali G at times and when he's been a bit of a pickle he will start reciting them! We haven't got to C yet as he loses interest after the first two! This could be a long process…I suppose I ought to get flash cards or something - or maybe some nice colourful, educational posters for his walls!?!?!?

I am trying to be good at the moment and drink lots of water - I confess that I'm starting to get really bored with the taste now…maybe I'll have to bring some squash in tomorrow to keep my liquid levels up! What I really need right now is something fun to look forward to…Mikey's birthday is one thing but I'm all too aware of the horrendous even that follows 17 days later - which is something I would quite happily forget if I could.

One good thing that has happened this week is I caught up with Julia…I've known her for probably about 20 years now (that has scared me) and we've asked her to be Mikey's Godmother once we get that sorted out/arranged. I really miss working with her and she has a wonderful mix of sane calmness and an ability to provide a similar sense of humour to mine (poor Mikey - he has a Mother and a Godmother with a terrible sense of humour!!) Mikey demonstrated his rolling skills and I'm sure she was given an A B recital! I think Mikey's best bit was the fact she loves cuddling small people and our small person can appreciate all the cuddles he can get in the evenings (or afternoons, mornings, lunchtimes etc) I really must meet up with some other Maidstone friends soon as well…It may help me feel less cut off over here in Ashford…

I drove round Drovers roundabout for the first time this morning since they switched the traffic lights on…now they need to be sorted out. I didn't believe the news stories on Tuesday saying they were only letting 3 cars at a time through - well they were right and at rush hour that is down right stupid, I'm sure at one point this morning they were stopping after 2 cars rather than 3. Plus I got into the wrong lane as there is no signage except for the stuff painted on the road surface - but I wasn't the only person to get it wrong and my speedy little car is good at going through small gaps! But traffic cones make me dizzy I found today - although that could have been the tablets I suppose. (Maybe driving at the moment is not my brightest idea) Luckily I had left loads of time to get to the hospital as I spent at least 10 minutes queuing up past Waitrose. It was tempting to nip in for breakfast, but I wasn't sure they did it! Yet another thing in Ashford winding me up and reinforcing my desire to move somewhere/anywhere else as soon as possible.