Newsless News

Sorry....

2012-01-03T20:55:00.000Z

This Christmas was pretty quiet...my darling son passed his cold onto Daddy and I - And Mummy had to go one better and end up with Bronchitis! My first trip to my GP ended up with me being told to just inhale steam, I tried to tell him that I simply can't do that - but he didn't want to know. I went into the pharmacy to collect my repeat prescription and was told that I wasn't the first patient that day he'd told to do that! That was Monday, I was back there on Thursday to be told I should have been on antibiotics since Monday... Great! So I was only 4 days behind trying to beat this thing! Andy and I spent most of the festive season surrounded by tissues and trying to to keep ourselves going whilst Mikey was fine and pretty much ran riot! He has discovered that his Fisher Price Garage makes a good climbing frame and the cars etc he got for Christmas make great missiles!
He's also got a few puzzles but we are not yet at the stage where we want to put things in their 'homes' when it is more fun to cover the floor! He's also found out that as a nearly 2 year old throwing tantrums can be fun too....we've have the slamming feet on the floor and screaming if he doesn't get his way immediately...the next year or so could be fun I suppose! But he is still adorable when he puts his mind to it!
Today we had the first Mikey Masterpiece in colour, he was bought soem felt tips for Christmas but his cruel Mother felt that is was safer to try coloured pencils first, I make be a coward but I'm also trying to keep Daddy calm!
I have a feeling that we may have to buy a climbing frame and baby trampoline for his birthday, he can now climb onto the sofa and once he gets up there he just bounces and giggles! He'll even sit on the floor and try to bounce! Maybe once we've mastered walking we may need a trip to Margate in the summer if there are still trmpolines on the beach!
We're actually off the William Harvey Hospital next week to see a specialist about his walking -his left ankle seems to be too flexible and it could be that walking on it is simply painful so he has stuck to crawling, except when he wants to climb! We're both going with him, I can cope with most things but where Mikey is concerned I'd quite like some support with me!

Better late than never!!

2011-12-02T21:08:00.000Z

This is a rather delayed update on Mikey's first proper trip to see Santa… Having read another persons update on the Reindeer centre I pretty much decided that was where we were going! Daddy didn't really have any say in the matter, but I simply wanted a good first experience for him (OK, he did meet Santa last year but he was only 5-6 months only and was terrified and buried his face in my neck!)

Thanks to me nagging a little we arrived not long after it opened, and thankfully it was really well signposted so getting there was easy! We parked on site and met a lovely dog who probably got tickled/stroked by almost everyone who was parking which he really didn't object to! First order of business was a quick trip to change a nappy…I really don't think Santa would have liked the aroma! We also had to shout at the pens of chickens and ducks, not sure they really appreciated whatever Mikey said but it had to be done! I'm assuming that feeding the ducks at Singleton Lake is not a peaceful experience for Debbie! Unfortunately the Raccoons were busy curled up on their sleeping shelf and obviously feeling unsociable as they didn't want to say hello! By the time Mikey was smelling fragrant again there was quite a queue so we went to join it and soon were making our way to Santa! Mummy was happy as the first think she saw were some large sparkly penguins! Mikey's eyes were enormous as he tried to take everything in, and he and Daddy say in the sleigh for a quick photo, although getting a non-moving shot was a tad difficult! The one minor mishap we had was the talking bear! Daddy said it was Brian Blessed's voice but I think Mikey found it a little too loud and booming, but soon cheered up one we moved past it and the little illuminated house came into view!

There was a slight delay once we got close to Santa's house but Mummy was happy making friends with the 2 Reindeer parked outside and the Chief Elf was very friendly and stamped Mikey's passport for him! (Plus she was blonde - always a good thing so far as my son is concerned!) We soon went through to meet the Big Man and Mikey was all smile and cuteness! Apparently not what is usually had from his age range - most of them scream and don’t' want to go near Santa, Mikey was soon happily sat on his knee without too much wriggling and he didn't try to attack the beard (which had been Daddy's biggest fear) Santa and Mikey had quite a long chat, I can honestly say I didn't understand a word of it, but Santa appeared to so hopefully everything requested will arrive on the night of the 24th! Mikey had a photo with Santa and got a nice big wrapped box to take away and we left Santa in peace to chat with the next child and went off to buy a copy or 2 of the photo! I was impressed £6 each, or 2 for £10! So we had to get one to commerate the 1st proper meeting!

We then passed through the last few rooms with lots of excited noises from the young man in his chariot (Or Maserati as Santa called it) and escaped back into the sunshine to move onto the next part of our Visit! We soon moved to the Barn, full of Christmas music and loads of animals… we started in Animal corner where Mummy made friends with a very friendly goat and fell in love with the ducklings, it would have been so easy to simply sneak a few into his push chair! The Bunnies and piggles were wonderful - maybe for next years birthday!?!?!? And then Mummy saw the bouncy ones at the back! Mikey was mesmerised by them as they dashed around - to be honest I don’t think he's really ever seen a Kangaroo so wallabies were a whole new experience and certainly don't move like animals he comes into contact with on a regular basis! We then had to stop off and get up close to a big Reindeer, we left the push chair in Daddy's capable hands and had a seat on a straw bale while a reindeer had a good sniff! I think the straw was more exciting the Reindeer as you could pull it out in handfuls! But he was very good and didn't punch anyone or scream, and was very gentle with the noses pushed towards him!

Daddy had to almost physically restrain mummy when she saw the Meerkats, they were so cute and rushed over and chatted to people, I know they are vicious but I really want one! We still had the Llamas and the Donkeys to visit and the Emus! Mikey didn’t seem to bothered by them and thankfully the Llamas didn't do their party trick! But the Donkeys were lovely … but those have always been a family favourite and maybe they kept their pen mates calm! We decided that he was a little too small for the snow and ball pit experience (the lack of waling wouldn't help either) so Mummy and Daddy decided it was time for their Mince pie and Mikey had a few swigs of Fruit Shoot to keep him going! Once done the final bits of his passport were stamped and we made a move back home as it was getting close to lunch time, stopping for a chat with a very loud cockatoo! Once Mikey had had lunch he went up for a 'nap' which lasted for getting on for 4 hours, I'm sure I have been told that sleep is when small people process and new sights/experiences etc - I guess there was a whole lot of processing going on!

Quite a week....

2011-11-25T20:50:00.000Z

This week has been slightly manic. I had this afternoon off as Mikey needed a sitter and hasn't been a well boy, he threw up at Debbie's yesterday and did the same again this morning. But he's been fine all afternoon and this evening he was simply adorable. Lots of smiles and cuddles and yelling for Gary! (Debbie's partner)

The plan for this weekend is to wait for the replacement washing machine tomorrow and head off to the Reindeer Centre on Sunday to visit the big man in Red! It appears that the Santa experience there is pretty good and it's somewhere I've never been and have wanted to visit! Plus having heard 'Fairytale of New York' on the radio this morning I'm starting to feel rather seasonal!!

It's my sisters birthday today so I am very aware that we only have 4 weeks until the big day now, I really need to get organised as so far I've only sorted Mikey and Andy out! My parents are rather difficult as they pretty much buy what they want when they want it! My brother-in-law is the same! For my nephew...where is the best place to buy drum sticks!?!?!?

I've sort of made an early New Years Resolution...I'm going to try to post more often than I've managed this year, it really is a great way to remember stuff, especially as my memory is still decidedly dodgy most of the time! Maybe I need a smart phone so I can update when I have a break for lunch at work as our security means I can't get onto this site!!

My own personal demolition crew...

2011-11-23T21:44:00.000Z

is commonly known as Michael Andrew Zerfahs! I had last Friday off as our normal childcare arrangements couldn't happen. He was cute all morning but in the afternoon turned into a demon Octopus!! One glass door from our TV unit now has a large crack running from corner to corner! Luckily he hasn't been near the washing machine so can't be blamed for that going to the great scrap yard in the sky! But he could be partially to blame as our washing loads have really increased over the last 17 months for some reason!!

Mikey is now seriously mobile. We have bought his first pair of shoes, not sure how long it is going to take Andy to get over the price when looked at in comparison the the size of the shoes! Walking happens with the various baby walking devices he has both here and at Nanny and Grandads or when hanging onto sofas or cot sides. But if we need to get anywhere fast he does a great impression of a herd of stampeding elephants across the lounge floor, more often than not when he is trying to distract Daddy from something he isn't meant to be doing!

I'm still living with my headache...in theory I am being referred to a headache clinic but that is reliant on my GP actually sending a letter off. As there are now only 2 full time GP's at the practice I have no idea when (if ever) any letter will actually be sent. But in the meantime I'm trying to not overdose on paracetamol as they are all I have to take as pain relief now and some evenings it hurts so much I just want to curl up and cry. At times the pressure inside my head is so bad I simply want to drill holes in my head to relieve it.

Quiet week!

2011-10-18T21:11:00.000+01:00

It's been a rather quiet few days Chez Zerfahs…I have got laryngitis again and my voice appears to have upped and left the building! To be honest it is very painful but at least it takes my mind off my headache which is now into the 3rd month! I had a CT scan a couple of weeks ago and finally saw a GP about it yesterday. Basically I do still have a brain and the re is nothing scary lurking in there - just very narrow blood vessels which are probably nothing to do with the headache! He also gave me some typed of painkiller but phoned home before I got back to tell me not to take them! Apparently they will have an adverse effect on my asthma which as we are going through a weather change right now is bad already… So I'm still on paracetamol which don't work and drinking gallons of water to try and keep my throat lubricated. Not that helps my voice, it's on a par with my paralysed vocal chord stage in 2008 - if they tell me to hum and cough I'm liable to flatten someone! Mikey thinks it's funny and I keep getting very quizzical looks and this morning he was stroking my throat. Luckily he hasn't got hands big enough to strangle his mum yet!

At the moment I'm grateful for e-mail as I've been trying to talk on the phone and it simply doesn't work - I know people can't hear/understand me and repeating it just puts more strain on a voice which has given up already. But e-mail means I can at least get on and although I should probably be at home resting my voice properly that would leave me with creeping brain death and a hell of a pile of stuff when I get back, I'd prefer to struggle on as I am for now.

Also I don't want to risk causing any more damage than it's already experienced, but I'm missing singing in the car on the way to and from work. OK it isn't a long journey but it's part of my routine and I enjoy it (not sure Mikey does…) I do seem to have caused some amusement at work, everyone around me seems to think it's funny - but I wasn't aware that I made that much noise normally anyway!

Mikey is currently really trying to find his feet, mainly using Daddy as a climbing frame and really not caring where feet, knees and elbows go which results in some odd noises and faces from Daddy - maybe I should try to find him some protection??? But he does keep telling me Mikey isn't getting a sibling - maybe Mikey is making sure he's an only child!?!?!? We can stand up holding something but we appear to have a wobbly bottom and crawling is obviously faster - especially when you can do an impression of a stampeding elephant across the floor! It looks as though this Christmas will be treeless as everything has to be explored and I think no would get a little boring after the 1st 10 minutes!!

Yet another month...nearly Christmas!!!!

2011-10-03T21:20:00.000+01:00

First day back after 3 days off with my boys… It was Andy's Birthday last week so we were both off from Wednesday and Mikey was home with us too :) It was so nice to have time as a family and I had forgotten how funny my little boy can be! At one point he was upstairs with Daddy having a nappy change and all I could here was Mikey rabbiting on about something (your guess is as good as mine regarding what he was going on about) and when they came back down Andy was having a real problem keeping a straight face! Our son was looking very serious and still talking about whatever it was that he'd started on up stairs!

On Thursday we headed over to Leeds Castle as our tickets from last year were still valid. Mikey decided that every single person needed to be greeted with a loud 'Hello', and everytime he got one back the legs in the push chair went into overdrive! It was that exciting! But if he was ignored any subsequent greetings got louder and louder until he got at least one back! Unfortunately the birds in the aviary weren't as talkative this time - if they had been I'd imagine we'd still be there! There was also a Latin invasion of the maze, I have to admit I'm not sure if they were Spanish or Italian. I just know they were decidedly loud…Maybe Mikey should have joined them!

Friday was very exciting - I pushed him round to my hairdressers for a trim! His very first as it was nearly long enough to make a couple of small bunches! I was a very proud mum, he sat calmly on my lap and was very good as Abbie snipped away and tidied him up! We didn't go for a major chop so he still has his curls but no longer has mad hair when he wakes up in the morning! Hopefully Nanny will approve as I was warned not to let him end up looking like a thug - even though he acts like one most of the time! (Toy chucking is a favourite occupation at the moment!)

More thinking!!

2011-09-14T21:25:00.000+01:00

One thing I'm noticing daily with Mikey now is the number of words he can use - not always the right one, but more and more each day! Last Friday I got him out of his cot to be met with a loud and very clear BEER, which was then repeated over and over until he was giggling too much to actually speak! It did make changing his nappy easier than usual as he was to busy giggling to wriggle! Yesterday over in Canterbury he was introduced to Bramble the cat - to which he loudly exclaimed BEAR and poked the poor cat! My sisters dog today has been ooooarley, Mikey's version of 'poor Barley' which apparently my sister was saying a lot! We also get Hello most of the day and pretty is also another popular word, other words of choice are baby, Yuk and Yum! Sometimes we get Mum - but that is usually when he forgets Yum and food is involved!

I know he is only 14 months old, but it is getting almost impossible to remember life without him now - he is such a huge part of my life I can feel guilty that I'm not paying Andy the attention he deserves - but then again Andy can look after himself, Mikey can't so far…. But on the other hand I do miss the days when I was Heather, rather than 'Mikey's Mum'. I know that is a title I wanted for a very long time, but I also want to be me as well… Not sure if that makes sense but I know what I mean!! I'm amazed Mum's don't end up with schizophrenia! After all at the moment I'm Andy's Wife, Mikey's Mum, URS Scott Wilson's Credit controller and way down at the bottom of the list I'm Heather (Ex Wilson) Zerfahs…No wonder I get confused easily! Maybe I should have a different coloured hat so I know who I'm being at any time????

Another thought I had over the weekend was that I'm missing my hormones! While I was pregnant and just after having Mikey they made my life pretty much hell… but now they've all calmed down or left the building so to speak , I'm missing them! It's hard to say exactly what I'm missing - only that I am missing it whatever it is! I'm sure Andy doesn't miss them - I have now pretty much managed to stop bursting into tears at adverts etc if they are overly cute, but I can't be sure that won't come back if some of last years Christmas adverts are repeated!! Although I did sort of suggest another baby to Andy as a cure for my headache (OK, it is a bit extreme!!) but then I thought a little more and if I'm honest, Mikey as a baby was pretty easy, but right now is a whole different story and not one I'm sure I'd want to repeat at 2 years older! Plus I doubt I'd produce another Mikey and the infamous saying in my family is that if 'Nicky had been born first she would have been an only child' Do I really want to inflict that on Andy and I???? Maybe a cat or kitten is a better idea but I doubt that would help my lack of hormones!!! But it would be cheaper than a baby…. (I doubt this subtle hint will work on my husband, but I already know asking for a kitten doesn't work either :-( I've given up on the puppy idea as we really don't have the space/room for one)

Emotional weekend

2011-09-11T21:42:00.000+01:00

This weekend has been emotional for me...but thankfully the people around me have kept me laughing and pulled and pushed me through it!

My first hurdle was Saturday...10 years ago a friend died on the Friday and Andy hugged me all through the last night of the proms as I cried. We weren't married then but the Last Night always brings the memories back. Yesterday was made easier by the odd soprano who murdered some Rogers and Hammerstein before appearing in what can only be described as a cartoon get up for Rule Britannia... Her hat almost took off which did make me giggle!

Today was the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and the failed attack on the Capitol Building. I remember watching the news unfold on my PC at work and through various hone calls home as we kept losing the connection, and finding it almost impossible to believe what I was watching... I was used to terrorist attacks in the UK and in Europe thanks to various organisations (IRA etc) but there hadn't been any attack on mainland USA before just their embassy's abroad and one Naval ship. It was the day after that I heard someone I knew had been in one of the Towers but hadn't made it out before they collapsed. He was one of the sweetest men I had ever met and like so many other deaths at the hands of terrorists his was so pointless and I have no idea what killing him and the thousands of other people achieved other than to drag the western world into a war in the middle east where yet more totally innocent people have died. I was OK until they stared to read the lists of the names of the victims, then my tears started to fall again over such a waste of life...many of whom were doing work like I've done and still do, just earning a living for their families - nothing political or damaging to anyone else.

This afternoon we dashed over to Canterbury to see Andy's step mother who is briefly home from hospital. She has a couple of aneurysms which will need to be operated on so we 3 nipped over to see her, Mikey was on fine form and soon was taking on Grandad in a crawling competition around the kitchen...I wish I'd had a video camera with me! He also discovered quickly that if he cried he got chocolate buttons, I'm expecting him to pick up his Oscar next year after the performance he gave this afternoon! He did fall asleep on the way home - not a huge surprise after all the crawling races!!

August to September!

2011-09-06T21:05:00.001+01:00

I have been meaning to update this for ages…but then again I've updated much more frequently than some other people so I'm not going to feel bad!!

Life has been pretty normal recently, Mikey has had his first experience of Bat Camp (he only visited for an afternoon, only 17 years until he can attend, although I doubt that it'll still be happening then!) The mad Spaniard has tried to convince him he wants to hack into the Pentagon and let him loose with his phone to try (thank goodness for toddler lock!!) Oh, and Mikey met a piggle! But he really isn't going to get one for Christmas as I know who would have to do the cleaning out and I've done that in the winter in the past so I'm not ready to do it again!

Currently Mikey is showing absolutely no inclination to walk! He is happy speed crawling and can get into trouble far to quickly doing just that. He has discovered buttons as well - he reprogrammed Grandad's Sky box and got his DVD player going at full volume without really doing anything….maybe he can control gadgets with the power of his mind!?!?!?!? I really must stop watching Dr Who! Mikey is now the proud owner of a sit on/push along car thing - but he only goes backwards!!?!?!? I guess that does lend itself to a comment about how the male brain works, but I love my little boy and I have his whole life to try to influence how his brain works (Bwa ha ha….evil mother laugh time!)

IN OTHER NEWS…. I have got my infamous headache back again, it did appear in the New Year but my Dr was more interested in arthritis so ignored it, I then started anew job so pushed it (literally) to the back of my mind, but about 5 weeks ago it came back with pain I haven't experienced for years. After a couple of weeks I gave in and saw a Dr (a locum as usual) who said it was a tension headache and gave me anti depressants which totally zombiefied me. I went back last week and saw yet another locum (who was about 16) who went for the inner ear infection diagnosis, even though I have no ear pain of any kind, but based on the fact I keep throwing up and going dizzy (I do have a headache - which could be having that effect!!) The pain this week is getting worse, but seeing as the weather is horrible I guess that is affecting how my head feels so I really don’t feel up to seeing yet another locum and being given whichever tablets are this weeks special offer.

Last weekend was my Dad's Birthday so all 3 of us (I love saying that) whizzed up the M20 on Saturday morning for a birthday BBQ, I went into proud Mum mode as a neighbours grandson was there who is a couple of month younger than Mikey and he played really well with him - he didn't even throw a toy at him or grab anything Matthew was playing with. the only things they both tried to grab was each others juice cup, but in Mikey's defence he has got one exactly like the one Matthew had at home! He tried a burger at lunch time but wasn't too impressed and preferred his fromage frais! By the time we got round to his spaghetti in the afternoon I think the poor little thing was starving so demolished it along with his bread and butter, slight carb overload but with all the dashing around the garden he did use up an awful lot of energy!

Sunday was quieter, he got to flirt with Emma again which is always a good thing so far as Mikey is concerned, she is much more fun that his old decrepit mother (Plus he doesn't see her everyday!) and he got part of a cookie and I think Nanny fed him far too much chocolate (I saw the state of his bed when I got him up on Monday morning) and he also had a toy change over…the animal train is now back downstairs along with his ark (If anyone has any fisher price animals they no longer want, he only has zebras giraffes and a couple of lions, so they would be welcomed on board!) I think it may be time for the storey of Noah's ark soon so he has an idea of what it is all about!

I also want to get his christening sorted soon…I had wanted it done soon after we came home from hospital but that was simply me being a paranoid mother, but it is something I wasn’t to have done preferable in the church we got married in, which is also where my sister got married and my nephew was christened…I suppose it is the closest thing we have to a family church - plus I helped runt he guide company there for ages and my sister met her husband at a youth group there so it has special memories for all of us!

1 other thing I'm looking forward to is Mikey being big enough to give me a hug… I admit I'm a softy but I'm also female and we need hugs on a regular basis just to keep us going….

Please can we have a little more summer?

2011-08-23T20:26:00.000+01:00

This is not a good day - and it is purely down to the weather. I sometimes wonder if I am a victim of SAD as when it is grey and horrible like today I feel awful. Although my gorgeous little boy did make me laugh this morning - I'd tried my best to make sure he was protected against the deluge that was underway outside - but he was adamant that he wasn't having either hid sweatshirt hood or coat hood up. As we stepped outside the back door (well I stepped, he was carried) all IO could hear was a very loud 'UCK' and you just knew what sort of feeling he was trying to convey! So I am assuming that Uck in Mikey translates to Yuk! He was then silent for the whole trip to the childminder, no singing or anything - I have a feeling he was in sulk mode! And I know I shouldn't project what I think he is thinking but this morning it was just too easy and it cheered me up!!

I think Mikey was slightly disconcerted this morning as he is the only child there today…he was trying to look around the door into the lounge to see if anyone was there! I assume the Jack will be around so Mikey will get to try to turn off his PS whilst he's playing again! And also get lots of attention - which will suit him down to the ground after having had Nanny and Grandad running around after him yesterday! Apparently at one point Grandad was pretending to be a Giraffe…but seeing as Grandad tries to convince Mikey that his cow is a horse I'm not sure if he was really being a giraffe or maybe he was a panda….your guess is as good as mine!

My main problem today is actually getting inspired to do anything…I'm also shivering, probably due to this horrific weather! I'[m sure the office isn't actually as cold as I seem to think it is. My fingers are so cold that typing hurts and my spelling is unbelievably bad (not that it is ever good…thank goodness for spell check!) But my atrocious spelling doesn't slow the system down - it seems to be doing that for no reason at all , all by itself!

I am also sulking that my tube of Smarties seems to be missing the orange ones. At one point you could buy tubes of just orange Smarties….why did they stop doing that?? I like the orange ones far more than the others, the chocolate in them seems to be really grainy and the flavour isn't nice :-(

My nemesis is driving me up the wall as well today…the photocopier has dared to go wrong and the nice engineer has been out and fixed it - but it isn't good enough! As the poor man has pointed out the machine is old and basically wearing out so he can't get the resolution any better…Cue major sighing and whinging. I have been plugged into my Ipod trying to block some of the noise out but I failed miserable and I really can't take much more of this. He gives old women a bad name! And I can't even move around the desk and use Alan's desk as he has a laptop docking station and I have a PC :-( Although there is a strong chance I will move my PC around there so I can escape for a while….

My other problem during the day today has been shivering…I don't think the office has been cold - just me! I think whatever bug I've had over the last few days is still lurking and tomorrow I'm seriously considering wearing a nice warm jumper (do I sound really old now?!?!?!?) Although the forecast tomorrow is at least dry…I'd really like to see that big yellow thing that makes you feel warm if at all possible please!

Time Travel???

2011-08-17T19:26:00.002+01:00

Well I currently feel as thought I've time travelled backwards to 2009…my infamous headache is back and making my life miserable right now (especially as Mikey has discovered that the table flap on the dining table makes a fantastic drum by either banging it or head butting it - bless him) It must be bad as I've even been to see a Dr… It's safe to assume I'll never see him again due to the wonders of my GP Surgery! They seem to get through Drs faster than I get through painkillers at the moment…heaven knows when this much heralded management change will happen, so for the moment they are happily bumbling along and making life as difficult for patients as they can! I was sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour on Monday and saw how rude the receptionists were to the people who came in. There was absolutely no need for the way they reacted to some people and I can quite understand why some people get so angry and upset, they aren't treated like human beings, just imbecilic beings who happen to have wandered in to make the receptionists like hell…

Not much has really happened recently … Mikey is still eating like a pig if we let him! He really is a bottomless pit in his head, and his cruel mother simply doesn't understand his need for constant refuelling! But if he slowed down the speed crawling a little life may become less focussed on where his next meal/snack etc will appear from! I'm not sure the pasta sandwiches he got on Monday helped and they are not something I'm planning to repeat any time soon! He did try raspberries again on Saturday…from the look on his face I think they may have been a little sharp! I was laughing too much to take a photo but a magic star soon helped to take his mind off it! He does like strawberries though… and raisins are almost as good as buttons, but the resulting nappies are not fun!!

Andy is currently redoing the Murder Mystery Party from last year for work, he did an article for an in-house e-mag about a hobby when he referred to it, next thing is he's re-doing it for his work colleagues…I only hope Dr Plum lives up to my original portrayal of her!

At work the system is on a major go slow…maybe we need new hamsters or even feed those we already have so they have a little more energy…Does Red Bull work on rodents??? My nemesis is also back from his holiday so the noise in my bit of the office has increased 10000000 fold… not helping my poor old head and retreating into the world of my Ipod isn't helping either - and if I listen to Paul McKenna I'll fall asleep! Not ideal (but very tempting!)

2012...welcome World to the UK

2011-08-09T19:53:00.000+01:00

London riots: Man, 26, shot in Croydon dies in hospital

A 26-year-old man shot in a car during riots in Croydon has died in hospital.

The Metropolitan Police's Operation Trident launched an investigation after the man was found with gunshot wounds in his car on Monday night.

Why am I now worried this will spark off yet more imbecilic behaviour tonight? BBC News this morning had audio of a couple of youths trying to decide it they should go and loot Dagenham's to 'get some watches' and I'm not being racist, but the language and the sound of their voices implied they were black. I am sorry that the 29 year old was shot on Thursday - but whatever the circumstances surrounding that shooting it really can't ever justify the violence and criminal behaviour that has spread across London and other parts of the UK over the last few nights. There was even a mini riot in Medway last night with cars and rubbish bins being set alight - but apparently those responsible arrived in the area by train, so weren't even local scum.

I have read peoples views that the police haven't don enough…Just what do they expect them to do? If they go in heavy handed (which I feel they should ) then there would be loads of wailing about Police Brutality, and when they don't they aren't doing enough. I'm sorry, but the commanders should now be given a loose rein and allowed to do whatever they feel is needed to regain control - so long as they also provide security for the hospital staff who will be expected to provide sympathy and patch up anyone who gets caught by a copper having a bad evening.

Next year we are hosting the Olympic Games - famously about sporting behaviour and doing the best that you can. So far as I know looting is not yet an Olympic Sport so we don't need the trails the yobs are currently taking part in… They'd only try to nick the medals anyway.

I'm also worried about my sister's brother-in-law…he's in the Met and I'm sure was sent in over the weekend…OK, he is up on a horse, but that makes him a more obvious target and those morons won't even think he may have a family who love him and really don't want him getting pulled off his horse and injured as he tries to stop them pinching a mobile from a phone shop. There are far more important things happening in the world right now… Although being very selfish it is nice that the US and their credit rating has been knocked off the news for a day or so, but I'd rather not see the future of England behaving like idiots and being brainwashed by Mob Rule.

I also was shocked that an 11 year old was arrested over the weekend…maybe I'm old fashioned but what was an 11 year old doing out in the early hours anyway? I am going to be an over protective mother I feel - no way will Mikey be anywhere I don't know about when he is 11. I don't care about giving him his freedom, I'm more concerned about his safety. And what sort of parent would let a child go out when all 'that' was going on anyway? Maybe the parents should be arrested as well and made to explain how they let their child get into a situation where he could have been killed. Maybe that should also be a criminal offence too… I feel that I should be running the country -at least that way I could get my hands on a tank or 50! That would soon stop the riots and reduce the number of people claiming benefit as well…..

Right - that is civil unrest and the welfare money problem sorted….what next?!?!? (I think I may need a campaign manager to stop me wanting to drive over potential voters in my tank….)

Monday....Urgh

2011-08-08T22:26:00.000+01:00

New week again! I know weekends can go fast but why do mine seem to last for a couple of seconds and are them over and it's Monday morning again? This morning wasn't helped by my alarm clock playing up yet again! My alarm went off at 6.30 (as normal) and I went into snooze mode (again as normal) until it said 7.02 when I thumped the sleeping man beside me and asked if he was going to get up this morning! The response I got was 'Have you checked the time on your phone?' and when I did it was only 6.21am! 'm not sure why my alarm clock is not running 40 minutes ahead of itself as it is supposedly set by the atomic clock and is completely accurate!!! I guess this evening it'll be battery out and re-set time! I really don't want to be woken up 40 minutes early again tomorrow! (Thinking back Mikey was being very quiet whilst I was snoozing…..)

One thing I did have time for over the weekend was a quick hair colour change! I had noticed far too many grey hairs last week whilst it was being chopped, so I decided to do some cover up action! It is now allegedly mid auburn… as I dried it yesterday morning it started to look pink!! That led to a minor panic, but as I dried the rest it looked slightly more normal (well for me anyway!!) Not sure I'll try this colour again…maybe next time I'll do for brown again as my hair is far too good at going red… I think it's a genetic thing as my Grandmother and Uncle were both red heads!

My original plan of having a photography session didn't happen. Probably mainly due to the weather - everytime I stepped outside I got rained on and after the 1st couple of times it gets decidedly boring and I take steps to avoid the dampness as much as I can! I did get some photos back that I've had printed, but I've bought a new album as the 2nd Mikey album is nearly full now, but Mikey kept 'helping' which mainly involves folding pages up so I didn’t get the photos sorted or slotted into their new homes - maybe I'll make a start on them this evening!

One other think I need to do this week is make a Drs appointment. I took my prescription application form into the GP surgery about 3 weeks ago and haven't heard anything since. Based on their normal 'helpfulness' I would imagine they have lost this as well as the original one I took in just before I found out I was pregnant. They would be totally unable to arrange the proverbial in a brewery without someone telling them what to do. The sooner the new management team are put in the better…but all that seems to have gone quiet again although the girls in the pharmacy did tell me they have now managed to get a few more permanent Drs now….

And seeing how many different things they seem to think I need to take to keep going I would quite like some help paying for it all as at £7.60 (I think) per item it all mounts up scarily fast…Or they can just give me more per prescription so I don't have to get it all renewed so often. It isn't as if any of it is exactly dangerous….I stopped taking all that stuff when I first found out Mikey was on the way and haven't had any of it since (and don't intend to) so I'm hardly likely to try and deal in any of the stuff I'm on! None of it gives an artificial high…mainly it keeps my blood pressure, uric acid and cholesterol levels down and keeps my blood sugar on an even keel… nothing earth shatteringly desirable there really!

Mikey is now really into speed crawling - and I am going to have to get him a baby crash helmet! He simply doesn't look where he is going and seems to know no fear right now (and no - that does not mean you can fly him from a kite….) This weekend he has crawled…at speed…. into the sofa (again) the dining table and Daddy and Mummy. What I find totally hilarious is the fact he doesn't stop when he hits something, just keeps going as if he will simply go straight through whatever the obstacle is! He has also started trying to work out how to climb over Daddy…I think wrestling may commence soon and my money is no Mikey! For one thing I doubt he’ll be very sporting…and he has nails!

Am I glad it's Friday!

2011-08-05T20:45:00.000+01:00

It's been a tough week this week….but the beginning wasn't too bad thank goodness, it's just gone downhill from Monday really!

The first disaster was a husband with toothache - never a fun experience and I'm afraid I wasn't exactly sympathetic as it's been going on for weeks (possibly months) and he hasn't bothered to go to the dentist (which is within walking distance) He finally booked an appointment for Wednesday evening which meant he was miserable for Tina's Birthday evening (sorry about that) and didn't make it to work on Wednesday as he was dizzy from the pain killers he was taking and it was hurting (his sympathetic wife just said to phone the dentist and see if they had any cancellations to get in earlier)

Thursday didn't start any better - even after his treatment he was still in pain (so I didn't get much rest as he was up and down during the night) and then Mikey decided to fall over and bump his head. He stopped screaming as soon as breakfast was shovelled into his mouth and by the time I delivered him to the childminder he was totally fine, although he did have the start of a nice egg/bruise on his forehead poor little mite. Wonderful Debbie kept a close eye on him all day for me but he ate all his lunch (plus some of the other Kids lunches as well) and had a nice nap before being educated in the joys of skateboarding….He is not having one of those until he is old enough to leave home!

Debbie also pointed out once he is walking he will get even more bumps and bruises…but it didn't stop me pretty much going into shock and by the time I got to work I was a wreck and had to have a bloody good cry. (and get some reassurance from my Mum and Dad….) Yesterday evening Andy was out and I was so scared about changing Mikey I insisted on getting him ready for bed in his cot - talk about a confused little boy who really didn't want to be helpful…he was also confused this morning when after changing his nappy on his changing mat we moved back to his cot to get dressed - but it was better for mummy's sanity as she couldn't let him fall when he's sat on his mattress!

Andy has gone back to work today, although I think he had less sleep than me last night, and Mikey has gone to Nanny and Grandad so is probably having a wonderful day, I know he was going to the supermarket which he loves as there is so much to see, loads of colour and plenty of people who are likely to make a fuss of him (my son can be such a tart!) The only thing you have to do is watch what he puts into the trolley! If something catches his eye he grabs it…or makes a good try and can get ratty if he can't get hold of it! I think he is close to having a shopping addiction at 1!! We may have created a monster….

Not much planned for the weekend…I may try to catch up on some sleep which is a bit of a waste of the weekend but I am just feeling a bit drained and this morning the nicest description I could come up with for my complexion was grey and washed out… or I find somewhere comfortable and sit and soak up some sun trying to change colour!! And with the amount of painkillers my husband has managed to get through he’ll probably be asleep too (no change there really!!!) Or I may try to get a few more photos of Mikey (it isn't like I haven't already taken 100's…) especially as it gives me an excuse to play around with the black and white setting - I know colour is good, but there is just something about black and white that I love! Plus being a proud Mum I quite like taking photos of my little monster, especially as he is changing so fast and growing up so quickly, I was looking at some 24 hour old photos last night and I could hardly recognise him as the same little boy. He really won't be my baby in looks at least for much longer!! I can be an embarrassing mother and call him my baby for the rest of his life though - And believe me, I will!!!

All Change!!

2011-07-30T21:12:00.000+01:00

The hair has now gone!!! And so far it's working, the only reaction I've had from Mikey was Wooooo as I waked in and he hasn't tried to grab my hair at all. I haven't really had any reaction from Andy yet, hopefully I may get one eventually!

We went out for lunch today, I wanted to just have some time for the 3 of us but I couldn't get a babysitter of this evening so we went out for lunch. We went to 'The Atrium' in Rochester and it was wonderful. It's a small restaurant but I'm afraid I can't comment on the beer selection as I don't think it's high on their list of priorities!

The place is right on the High Street and quite close to the Cathedral so we had bells pealing through most of lunch as there was a rather large wedding happening, they had good taste in Wedding cars as the one parked by the main door was from Odds cars, the firm our wedding car came from. But it didn't inspire and romantic gestures from Andy - he didn't even hold my hand :(

Getting over to Medway this morning was fun...the M20 was closed so we went via Faversham and the M2, I'd forgotten how much I hate that trip but at least it meant Mikey could have a nap on the way there and coming home the M20 was re-opened so it was much easier! It also meant that he arrived at Nanny and Grandad's ready for lunch which he demolished pretty thoroughly!

Mikey had a wonderful time with Nanny, Grandad and Barley (who is still missing the other part of the family whilst they're in the US - I think Nanny is looking forward to having a dog free bed eventually!) We've hit the next milestone and have finally mastered crawling forward on hands and knees rather than commando crawling forwards and reversing in the correct position, so tomorrow we need to pick up the stair gates and blitz the lounge as now he know what he's doing I have a feeling stopping him is going to be pretty much impossible! Luckily Barley has had sofas and the garden as escape routes, Mikey can't get outside on his own yet...although he has mastered opening and closing doors so long as he remembers to keep his legs out of the way!!

Whittering time....

2011-07-26T20:25:00.000+01:00

Time for a whinge…so I apologise now! But this page is for me to whitter on and right now that's what I need to do! For some reason at the moment I am absolutely exhausted, lethargic is an understatement and I could easily sleep around the clock - plus my infamous headache seems to be trying to reassert it's dominance. There is no point talking to my GP as if you mention headache they simply shut down and ignore you (oh and prescribe paracetamol which do precisely nothing to help)

Mikey isn't helping either bless him…he is getting more and more vocal now and seems to think Mummy and Daddy understand every word he says. And if for some reason they don't he just repeats it louder again and again until they do! He's also getting more and more mobile…Andy is really going to have to bring the stair gates home soon as I don't think it'll be long until he tried to pull himself up the stairs and if you take your eyes off him for a second he is off! I suppose I could just get an extending dog lead and tether him somewhere (I'm being a bad mother again :( sorry)

I'm still totally shattered - Mikey was awake at 4am for the 2nd morning running and he seems to be thriving on it! Me on the other hand - not so good! I went to bed at a sensible time but couldn't fall asleep…and even when I did apparently I was talking in my sleep so relaxation wasn't happening. I have no recollection of any dreams so I have no idea what I was being responsible for or who the staff were that I was worrying about. It was probably another Norfolkline flashback/nightmare, one day I'll grow out of them and at least I'm not screaming in my sleep! (That'll probably be tonight!)

I've just read a report on the 'man' (In the loosest possible term) who carried out the attacks in Norway. It's starting to look as thought his defence is going to be insanity. He believes that his actions will be totally vindicated in 60 years time…I'm sure the families of his victims who were pretty much randomly selected will have forgiven him by then and will understand that their loved ones had to die - or at least they will if the world turns into cloud cuckoo land. What also annoys me is Norwegian law restricts his sentence to 21 years unless he's convicted of crimes against humanity, then it can go up to 30. In reality he should be locked in a nice dark, damp dungeon somewhere and left to rot… and then I'm happy to keep the key somewhere safe! It'd never be seen again…such a shame! The events in Oslo really upset me, it is one of my favourite places in the world and when we were there in 2009 on Norway day it was packed with thousands and thousands of people, some celebrating rather hard! And I never felt in even the slightest bit of danger - even with my map reading skills trying to get us back to the ship! The Norwegian people I have met have always been very very friendly and helpful, you never feel as though you are a stranger ion their country, you are just a welcome guest they want to get to know. I guess in a naïve way that's how I['d like the whole of this planet to be… We're all the same species so why should there be issues and problems between countries??

This is all getting a little deep for a Tuesday with a headache! Maybe it’s time for the big pink pain pills (try saying that quickly with a headache!!) After all I really don't think you can rattle too much every day… And I'm seriously considering running for office in Norway so I can deal with the big. blond bully.

2011-07-22T20:13:00.000+01:00

My last 2 weeks have only been 4 days…last Friday I had to have a diabetes eye test - not fun as it was VERY sunny and the drops really stung and then I have very dilated pupils so the sun seemed even brighter than it really was! Thankfully my eyes seemed back to normal (well normal for me) by 4ish, I have to admit nappy changing when they were at their worst was fun - Mikey wriggles at the best of the time but at one point I could see several of him!

Monday was Mikey's turn to go to the Drs - it was injection time and he had to have 3 - one of which was the famous MMR. He also had the Meningitis C, HIB and pneumonia vaccine - I was advised to give him a dose of Calpol before I took him and a chocolate drop per injection seemed to cheer him up fairly quickly (Maybe Mummy should have had some as she got traumatised too when he screamed) The silly nurse also thought he was jaundiced as he's got a tan…and when I said it was a tan and nothing worse I got lectured about putting sun cream on him….do I really look this stupid? (Answers not required!)

When we got home Mikey decided the best way to deal with injections was to fall asleep. I have to admit that I just watched him breath for ages - something I haven't done since he was first moved into SCBU (told you I was traumatised) But since then he's just got on with being Mikey! He is getting more and more talkative and we are crawling backwards fairly quickly - forwards is a pretty impressive commando crawl! And I'm convinced he was eyeing up the sofa this morning to see if he can pull himself up. But I guess the next stage has to arrive at some point whether I want it to or not! The photo is Mikey sleeping off he trauma!!

As for me at the moment I feel rough and look rougher…Much as I love and adore my son when I had my week off I would have loved a day when all I had to worry about was me… Does that make me a bad mother? I'd just like a day when I can be the me I used to be rather than being someone's wife or mother… But I guess I'll never have that again - I will be Mikey's Mum for the rest of my life, but then again I did want that and have been trying for a very long time to achieve my desire!

It's been a quiet day at work today… I had a very productive morning but now I am tempted to just put my head on my desk and sleep…If I switch desks and borrow Tess' desk nobody could see me and I may get away with it! But then again my manager did say I could leave at 4 as I'm feeling so crap so I might just go home and sleep… I just need to wake up while Andy is out so I can put Mikey to bed, in another bad Mother moment I hope he's tired so he'll want to go up a little early and then I can go to sleep again!! He really deserves a more caring Mum, poor little mite (OK, not so little now - yesterday he was eating chicken, chips and salad - (lunch at the pub!) and apparently got angry whenever Debbie stopped feeding him - we may well have created a monster!!)

Nothing planned for this weekend or the foreseeable future - although I am now seriously thinking about getting my hair chopped off. I seem to have got into the habit of shutting it in my car door for some reason - and have taken to swearing in German because of the small ears usually sat behind me! Plus I want a change, I'm fed up with usually having it in a pony tail so I think it's time to actually get a style of some sort again…this time comments are invited as I have no idea what I want other than it just to be different! And not the grade 2 someone suggested last night! But I'm not going blonde again - been there and done it, I think I may stay as a brunette now, with just home colours to hide the signs of aging as they grow…But if I get round to making an appointment hopefully it'll happen next weekend so I'll at least have that to look forward to.

Milestone achieved....

2011-07-10T18:46:00.000+01:00

Well I survived! I was supposed to see my neurologist on the morning of my birthday but he got a puncture! OK, so it was in Belgium and he never actually made it over the channel so it wasn't the greatest of starts! The day vastly improved when we got to Mum and Dads though... the first glass of bubbly always helps plus one of my favourite things for lunch followed by Mums version of Eton Mess with Raspberries rather than strawberries and I was in heaven! The cake was made by my younger sister (as she keeps reminding me) and one small person was VERY fond of the over sized chocolate buttons....

In the Evening Sue and Dave came over so I hit another bottle of the bubbly stuff and it's safe to say it was strong! One glass and I was slightly off balance.... two and standing was a slight challenge!! Thankfully Friday wasn't a very early start in Mikey world and I got up, changed him and left Andy to do breakfast spooning into mouth type stuff! I retired back to bed for a while before venturing downstairs to see if my head could cope with early morning Disney Junior! (It couldn't...It is safe to say it hurt!) The original plan for Friday had been to go to Leeds Castle but the forecast wasn't brilliant so we chickened out and had a veg out day at home! It has been nice this week to just have time to be the 3 of us... something we don't really get much chance to do!

Yesterday was a challenge for Andy as he organised his first ever BBQ!! Dad had got us a charcoal chimney for starting the coals off which made things easier for him, but he did all the cooking and even did things like hard boil eggs for the salad (OK, I put the salad together but he was cooking the meat at the time!) He handled it all really well and even cleaned the grill afterwards! Once it starts to get warmer again I feel another BBQ coming on!!

Coming up stuff is not so much fun I'm afraid... on Friday I have my diabetes eye test. So far I've avoided having to have the drops to dilate my pupils as I was pregnant, that excuse is no longer valid so thankfully Mum is coming over to drive me to the test. I am capable of driving there but I can't drive after it and then next Monday poor Mikey has his next load of injections. The 3 he should have at 12 months plus his first MMR, which is spposed to be 13 months. I wasn't happy about them all being done in one go, but I've had a strong recommendation for get the MMR done as there is a good chance a measles epidemic is on the way and it can still be lethal for small people so I want him protected asap.

Bloody awful Mother...who cried for most of Sunday

2011-07-04T21:22:00.000+01:00

It appears that I'm a terrible mother. I have let Mikey have a few treats as I'm having a birthday. He has had a tiny amount of birthday cake, the cream off a slice of banoffee pie and a taste of a doughnut. Apparently he is now going to be obese and his teeth are going to fall out. The person who made this accusation has never seen my son and has no idea that at his 12 month check up his growth and weight were classed as perfectly normal with no need for any concern - and this was at the end of June so not that long ago! I am proud that I have a happy, friendly child who so far has no sign of any fussy eating as he is trying a wide variety of foods - mostly in very small amounts and well controlled so he has an interesting and balanced diet, with the odd treat and a supply of fruit which he happily eats (more than me to be honest!) These accusations left me in tears for most of yesterday afternoon but my family and a wonderful friend jumped to my defence - something I am very grateful for. I am now seriously considering cancelling/closing my facebook page and wish I had a way of passing on just how hurt I am. I would have preferred to have had a private message rather than being accused publically of making my son obese etc.

Sorry for the rant but I have been hurt by this - those people who actually know me will know that we waited a very long time to be lucky enough to have Mikey and had enough scares during my pregnancy....add in my past medical history and Mikey is, in my mind a bit of a miracle and there is no way I will ever put my son at any risk...If someone has a problem about how I treat my son I'd happily discuss it calmly with them in person - and they really should at least see how Mikey and I interact and how healthy,happy and normal weighted he is.

Next week....

2011-06-28T20:51:00.000+01:00

I am now seriously considering cancelling my birthday…not only am I dreading reaching 'That' age but I now have a neurology appointment in the morning :( I had a slight panic when the secretary phoned me to book me in as she mentioned Dr Pollock… Now we really don't like him as he is really good at scaring me half to death and is based in Canterbury which is not fun to get to and parking is horrific! At least my appointment is in Ashford and is at 9.00am so parking shouldn’t be too bad! Another plus point (As I'm being positive here ) is I quite like the Dr I see in Ashford - he doesn't tell me stuff like I'm liable to end up with MS etc when I'm alone and having to drive home from Canterbury in the rain (I managed that whilst crying my eyes out - looking back I'm quite proud of me!)

It looks like it's going to be a medical sort of week as I have blood tests on Monday morning and I was thinking about booking in a diabetes review - not sure I can be bothered now especially as I have a diabetes eye test the week after…

One day I will be problem free and won't have to take loads of pills (which I've just remembered I forgot this morning!) Maybe I do need to see a neurologist after all! So long as he doesn't stick me back in a MRI machine as I really hate those with a passion - Andy doesn't mind me going in them so long as he gets coffee!!

Dropping Mikey off this morning was fun! Mikey was fine and for once hadn't filled his nappy so smelt relatively sweet… But there was uproar at Debbie's! Apparently a new fan had stopped working and there were various small people offering reasons why this had happened! As I left Mikey was being dispatched to beat them up and restore order…I have always said my son is a thug - you don’t let the angelic blond curls fool you! I wouldn't argue with him, especially now he's worked out how his teeth work!

Today is thankfully a little cooler than yesterday was - trying to get Mikey's bedroom cool was a real battle. He ended up with the fan going most of the night and seems to like laying with his feet on the bars in the breeze! My main issue at the moment is finding cool stuff for him to sleep in…he's grown out of most of his vests and we only have 1 short sleeved one lurking - I guess I need to go clothes shopping for my little man! He certainly doesn't need a sleeping bag right now! I think after yesterday he'd happily sleep in his paddling pool if we could work out how to keep his head above water… I'll give that some thought this afternoon. If I solve it I'll add it to my new business making weight reducing chocolate cakes etc!

But my next challenge today will be dinner for Andy and I - I really don’t' want to cook and I don’t think we have anything that can be eaten raw in the fridge. I didn't plan this too well did I! But then again who believes the weather forecasters are going to get something right!?!?!?!? I do have to admit that I have an umbrella with me today….I'm fed up getting wet!! (The storm has just hit - and hit is the exact word form the noise!)

2011-06-26T18:29:00.000+01:00

I did write a blog entry earlier this week - it is still sat in my e-mail as I never quite got around to publishing it! Until today at least!!

This has been an odd sort of week to be honest…the main excitement being Mikey hitting 1! I never thought I'd be able to write about my child having their 1st birthday, it still makes me a little tearful as it was something I'd wanted for so long and I'd pretty much accepted was never ever going to happen for me - especially after the fiasco of 2008. I still think the surgeon blasted more than the kidney stones in September 08 - or maybe the big collider thing in Switzerland affected the procedure as that started whilst I was in theatre! What ever happened we got the most gorgeous little boy and to be honest I think we've had it easy so far when you read some of the horror stories of sleepless months etc - he was sleeping through from 4 months and still is not a morning person - once he's asleep he likes to stay that way for as long as he can! All we need to do now is teach him about the Sunday morning lie in! One concept he has yet to grasp - but I guess I'll need to teach him the days of the week first!

Yesterday evening we built his present from Auntie Nicky and Uncle Miff. He is now the proud owner of a Smart Trike and I want one too! But I doubt Andy could push both of us…. We're off to the school fair tomorrow as Mickey Mouse, Minnie and Buzz Lightyear are due to appear! We don't really know yet who Buzz is but he should be colourful so good to look at! Plus I really want to get Mikey into that school so it's never too early to start being supportive parents!

One other thing weighing slightly on my mind is a certain countdown…I now have less than 2 weeks of my 30's left. I vary from day to day how I feel about the change of number - as really that is all that it is! And I always used to prefer 4 to 3 as I found it easier to write 4! I have also failed miserably with my list of things to do before I hit 40 - maybe I'll follow Andy's example and make it a list to do in my 40th year… any volunteers to see a male stripper etc with me? I also really want to go up in the London Eye - and thinking about my husbands terror of heights I think I'll need a volunteer for that one too!

One other job we need to do this weekend is build a BBQ! Mum and Dad have bought me one for my birthday and right now it's sat in a box - not helpful when we'll need to cook on it next weekend! Maybe I'll do what I did with the trike - get it all out of the box and start building , Andy then looks on in horror and takes over! It also means he can pretend he's Handy Manny with power tools - I'm sure he was singing the song last night! It made a nice chance from Tim Taylor style grunts!

He's done really well this week and lost 6lbs… we have no idea how but are putting it down to the cake I made for Mikey! Devils food cake with chocolate fudge icing is now officially a weight loss staple…maybe I should start a new career!!! I could use the help right now as I am having a major attack of the munchies!

21st June

2011-06-26T18:23:00.000+01:00

For some reason at the moment I am in a really foul mood…and it hasn't been helped by trying to work in what can best be described as a total madhouse! The noise levels this morning we pretty much too high for me to cope with and not even the trusty I-pod could drown it into a background roar. I'm fairly sure even Mikey in full blown scream mode wouldn't have drowned it all out and it made trying to concentrate an impossible task and hasn't helped my headache.

I'm also of the opinion that the Midlands are possibly one of the most laid back areas in the UK - they certainly aren't the most helpful as I've found and never seem to want to rush - why use 1 word when you could drawl out 10 or so… I can say with a fair degree of certainty that I didn't get any helpful answers and was pretty much told to call back next week when someone might be able to assist a little (If I'm lucky!!) It was a total waste of my time and hasn't exactly encouraged me to crack on with the list of things I have to do right now!

Most of this weekend was spent celebrating a small man's very 1st birthday! He is now able to open parcels (with a little help provided nobody has gone mad with the sellotape!) but really isn't bothered by cards or presents that resemble clothing! He spent most of Sunday afternoon with a Duplo brick in his mouth or eating chocolate cake (so his mothers cooking can't be too horrific!) He's also had his 12 month review and flirted with the advisor trying to do it! Well she was blond and they have always been his preference! I'm still trying to work out what has happened to the last 12 months… was I stuck in another coma for part of it as I can't remember it being a year since I had him! But looking at the size of him now I'm relieved I didn't have him recently! But he's been weighed and measured and everyone is perfectly happy with how he is getting on! Which in turn means he has a happy Mum! Just crawling and walking milestones to hit now…I can't wait until he can walk as carrying him is getting more and more difficult due to his weight and the sheer amount of wriggling he can do - especially when I'm trying to carry him up the stairs - he came very close to being dropped at the weekend simply as he was doing a fantastic impression of an eel and sliding our of my arms!

The hair is still blond and curly - I still have frequent urges to get it cut just to get him looking a little tidier - plus he objects strongly to having it brushed and combing simply won't be tolerated! For a small person he knows his mind and doesn't want to discuss anything he objects to - stubborn is a small understatement!

Andy was lucky and managed to get Monday and today (plus Friday) off work. I could only get Friday but my new boss phoned me yesterday and told me to go home at 4.00 so I could spend some time with my little monster. Andy came and picked me up and as I walked in I got the most amazing smile from my son. It's moments like that which really help me to feel like I'm not a bad/failing mother and just maybe he does like/love me! All I need to do now is master the fasted nappy change in the world as his latest trick is to roll over as much as possible - usually when the nappy is best described as dirty! For a small one he is amazingly capable of creating a massive mess!!

Still in a grump - I need to throw this mood off before I get home as Andy can do grumpy for both of us without me adding to it…maybe I'm just missing my Parents as they are off exploring the Baltic at the moment, doing the cruise we were supposed to do back in 2008 but I wasn't well enough or in a state to cope with it. So jealousy could be sneaking in too.

Oh yes - Mikey got a rocking horse yesterday too and we need a name - Daddy wants to call it Bonnie (as in Tyler as it's a little hoarse - sooooooooo bad) so I need a different name asap - all suggestions gratefully received!

Insanity looms....

2011-06-07T22:12:00.000+01:00

It is currently only 09.05 am and I am already close to slapping someone! If I hear the phrase 'lightweight dynamic probe' again I will not be responsible for my actions! I have no idea what one of these is or does and to be honest I know where I'd like it to be probing!! He wasn't in yesterday and the atmosphere was so much more relaxed it was wonderful!

I guess today hasn't had a good start….when my alarm went off I was still feeling so tired I was sure it had to be Saturday morning so rather than snoozing it I turned it off! I then had to rely on Andy getting up to even consider doing the same for me! I did manage to stagger to the bathroom but I've just remembered that my poor teeth didn’t get brushed (mind you I've totally forgotten to take all my morning pills again as well!) Luckily getting Mikey up wasn't too horrific this morning but getting downstairs involved a new(ish) game 'lets see if we can get Mummy to go blue in the face by tightening the chain round her neck' Not one of my favourite pastimes especially when Daddy is sat on the sofa eating breakfast saying 'don't make me come up there' as I choke…

The porridge part of breakfast for Mikey went well, then we got to the milk bit. I think we are starting to get fed up with Milk at breakfast time, it's always a battle and this morning I think we drank a couple of ounces - including the stuff thrown over Mikey and the floor! Now I need to rethink breakfast liquid as I know the cereal bit won't give him enough… I think he's a little young for the full English my nephew demanded from his Mum this morning! It is his birthday though…

It's now mid afternoon and today has had a few successes but rather more failures - but nothing that isn't insurmountable! The only major down is my back is really painful again and I have a feeling I'll need more antibiotics…I really don't have time to see a Dr at the moment and I guess I'm just a little scared they are stones again - but at least this time I'll only need to control any infection (I don’t want to be put in a coma again however much weight I'd lose!!) and then they can zap them again and I'll be out in a day if my blood pressure etc behaves! But recently is has been fine every time they have tested it (although I suppose I have to remember to take the tablets!!) Or I'll just live on painkillers…I suppose that is another option!

My nemesis is still winding me up without even realising how bloody annoying he is! I can only assume there is something about his voice that sets my teeth on edge and makes me want to slap him with a very large and extremely heavy sledge hammer. Maybe I need to destroy something in his place…I feel a trip to the shredder coming on!

Changing times

2011-06-04T22:32:00.000+01:00

Most of the change is down to Mikey right now! Today he has happily demolished toast and raspberry jam followed by blackcurrant jelly (Mummy felt the need for a change from fromage frais!) But I wasn't aware just how much mess one piece of toast could be!

He's also happily eating the next stage of baby food so long as some really pureed stuff is added to it...as he shows in the mornings he prefers his porridge more runny than lumpy! I think he may also have 4 teeth at the top but he really isn't happy to let anyone look without sinking them into the viewers fingers, hands or anything else he can get hold of!

Life at work this week has been challenging! The new system is in at least - but I don't appear to exist on it as a collection specialist yet (I quite like that job title!) but slowly some of my old knowledge is fighting it's way to the surface! At least I don't feel that it is completely new to me and it has a small feeling of familiarity to it! Once I have my own ledger to start work on I'll be happier - right now I'm working on someone elses so at least that is being updated! But I did forget to move for most of Friday afternoon - which meant when I did it was most graceful (not) I also got to visit Basingstoke on Tuesday - but I didn't get to see the post office (family joke to do with catalysts)

One thing I have noticed recently is how tired I am...I had out it down to the infection/medication but I've finished all that now and I could still easily sleep for England for hours and hours! Andy and Mikey are both happy to nap during the day but I can't do that and just get ratty when they fall asleep during the day at the weekend and I'm awake and lonely... I so need my cat!! Some female company would be lovely.

Update

2011-05-29T14:47:00.001+01:00

The previous blog was actually written earlier this week but my wonderful laptop refused to sign into Blogger so it was sat in my document folder until I managed to trick it into doing what I wanted!

My infection is still doing really well and my foot is fine so long as I don't try to walk anywhere... Plus I've had to resort to wearing shoes that are far too big for me as they don't rub/put pressure on the wrong bits.

Thankfully Andy seems loads better than last weekend - right now he is trying to reason with an 11 month old who is refusing to go to sleep even though we can both see that he is shattered. He really doesn't react to well to logical reason - maybe we should try illogical next??? He certainly isn't going to be a Vulcan...but seeing as his father was trying to teach him Klingon yesterday I should have realised that logic wasn't going to be his strong suit! Plus his ears are certainly not pointed and his blood was red when he was in SCBU!

Mikey is actually trying to sing 'My Way' at the moment as we've just got around to watching last weeks episode if Britains Got Talent! As usual he is getting all the right notes, just not in the right order...

Yesterday we popped over the see Nanny and Grandad, Mikey had a great day but at one point I'm fairly sure he was trying to plan how to use Barley as a horse, the poor dog used to try to get behind Nanny for protection! Plus Golden Retriever tails are very tempting to small fingers and she is very good at wagging it near him

The poor dog kept retreating to the garden, especially when the stacking train and cups came out as his aim is fairly random - and I'm sure he doesn't mean to throw things at the dog...they just happen to go in that direction all on their own!
This week we get the new computer system at work, it's actually the system I used to use at Norfolkline! But I think this is a newer more expensive version... Hopefully it won't have the month end hiccups I had to get used to before!

Yuk

2011-05-29T14:15:00.000+01:00

That word pretty much sums up my weekend…and the week that has followed it to be brutally honest. It started on Saturday with some kind bug biting my neck on my trachy scar, it really really itched but I tried to be good and not scratch it – not an agreement my son managed to stick to and his fingers seemed drawn to it every time I picked him up!

Sunday started off a little better, until Andy woke up and then it was rush time to get Mikey up, dressed and fed before whizzing my other baby off to Casualty. I won’t go into too many details but blood was involved and I’ve seen parts of my husband I’ve never seen before and honestly don’t want to see again! I know hospitals are under pressure but I was bored as we waited for the hours in A&E and I watched a Sister walk between minor and major injuries over and over again without appearing to actually do/achieve anything – plus she only ever walked one way so I can only assume she nipped around the back before repeating her stroll!

Luckily Mikey was next door with Emma, probably terrifying her boyfriend! I just hope the relationship has survived my child!

On Monday I decided my back/kidney pain was not improving so I went back to the Drs. They tried to convince me that I needed to phone Tuesday morning as they had no appointments left (this was mid morning) I refused to accept that and got a tad forceful. Amazingly I got an appointment for that afternoon! I saw the Dr and provided yet another sample to be told that my 3 day antibiotic course last week hadn’t worked… I know I didn’t spend umpteen years at university but I already knew that! My sample has now been sent for testing as the nitrate and white cell level seem very high and I’m now on stronger tablets 4 times a day for the next week!

Tuesday morning was not great either – I was in more pain and apparently having a gout attack on my left foot. Getting any shoes on was painful to say the least and driving was a joke! I delivered Mikey to Debbie and retreated home with my sore foot. It must have been bad as I resorted to NHS Direct last night as I simply wanted the pain to go away, I have now been told to stay off it as much as possible and to keep my liquid intake up (As the Dr on Monday had already told me!) I am now drinking like the proverbial fish and have my foot up so I can’t walk on it. I’ve also been told to stop taking one lot of medication until the attack stops and then start it again as even though I take it to prevent attacks it actually makes them more painful f they do start… the joys of too many tablets I guess.

All I’d like to know is who have I upset to be given the sort of week I appear to be having??? In fact it’s more like a bad month… please bring June on, hopefully it will be better than May.

I need a change...

2011-05-19T20:38:00.000+01:00

I feel as though I'm going even more insane than my usual levels of insanity…

I went to my Drs yesterday as my back has been getting more and more painful over the last few days (OK, maybe longer than a few days) and I've found out I have a kidney infection so am now on some decidedly horrible antibiotics. These are making me feel wobbly/dizzy/sick and basically awful. Or at least I'm blaming the pills but I suppose it could be my wonderful Kidneys as well…I'm just praying that the pills sort it out and I haven't created another set of stones. I really don't need those at the moment. The Dr did ask if the pain was like this 3 years ago, but I could honestly say I don’t know - I never really felt it last time plus my memory of that time is a little hazy to say the least! Andy is probably the best person to ask!

I feel even worse for yelling at Mikey this morning as he was just being a baby and refusing to lie still whilst I changed his nappy and got him dressed, I'll apologise to him later as I got very stressed when he decided to roll over and play with the curtains and he was nearly sent to Debbie in his babygro!

This morning I also had to go to the William Harvey to see my consultant about my creaking knees. He is a very sweet man (for a consultant) and to be honest it was a bit of a waste of time as pretty much all I did was tell him I had another acute attack at the start of May but other than that they have behave almost normally (I forgot to tell him about the feeling I have when I think they are bending the wrong way - but then again there is nothing he can do about that anyway!) He very kindly sent me off for yet more blood tests (Well only 1 bottle this time) The whole load he did last time were fine except for the one which got repeated again today, I have to discuss these results with my GP in 4 weeks (If I manage to get an appointment) and it could be my medication will need to be increased. As it is he's told me I'll have to take the tablets I'm on now for the rest of my life - not a nice thought but at least they don’t taste too bad!

I also have physio again this afternoon - not my favourite thing in the world but at least I know now he hasn't caused the pain I've been suffering over the past few (!!) days, hopefully when I tell him what is happening he'll be nice and gentle, a massage would be wonderful right now!

Andy has been at home for the last few days with some kind of stomach bug - I think originally I (or my cooking ) was being blamed but he has now confessed that lots of people at work have been off with the same sort of thing. I really don't care what has caused it so long as I don't catch it too! Maybe I just need a way of venting at the moment as I can feel myself getting more and more stressed which really can't be helping too much and isn't the sort of thing I want Mikey to pick up on…And seeing as he is growing up so fast at the moment he may well pick it up. It's scary that he's 11 months old tomorrow and next month is a year - where on earth has the last year gone? The monkey is still not crawling but is trying really hard to talk, and being a cruel mother I've started trying to teach him the alphabet, we've got A and B although he can sound like Ali G at times and when he's been a bit of a pickle he will start reciting them! We haven't got to C yet as he loses interest after the first two! This could be a long process…I suppose I ought to get flash cards or something - or maybe some nice colourful, educational posters for his walls!?!?!?

I am trying to be good at the moment and drink lots of water - I confess that I'm starting to get really bored with the taste now…maybe I'll have to bring some squash in tomorrow to keep my liquid levels up! What I really need right now is something fun to look forward to…Mikey's birthday is one thing but I'm all too aware of the horrendous even that follows 17 days later - which is something I would quite happily forget if I could.

One good thing that has happened this week is I caught up with Julia…I've known her for probably about 20 years now (that has scared me) and we've asked her to be Mikey's Godmother once we get that sorted out/arranged. I really miss working with her and she has a wonderful mix of sane calmness and an ability to provide a similar sense of humour to mine (poor Mikey - he has a Mother and a Godmother with a terrible sense of humour!!) Mikey demonstrated his rolling skills and I'm sure she was given an A B recital! I think Mikey's best bit was the fact she loves cuddling small people and our small person can appreciate all the cuddles he can get in the evenings (or afternoons, mornings, lunchtimes etc) I really must meet up with some other Maidstone friends soon as well…It may help me feel less cut off over here in Ashford…

I drove round Drovers roundabout for the first time this morning since they switched the traffic lights on…now they need to be sorted out. I didn't believe the news stories on Tuesday saying they were only letting 3 cars at a time through - well they were right and at rush hour that is down right stupid, I'm sure at one point this morning they were stopping after 2 cars rather than 3. Plus I got into the wrong lane as there is no signage except for the stuff painted on the road surface - but I wasn't the only person to get it wrong and my speedy little car is good at going through small gaps! But traffic cones make me dizzy I found today - although that could have been the tablets I suppose. (Maybe driving at the moment is not my brightest idea) Luckily I had left loads of time to get to the hospital as I spent at least 10 minutes queuing up past Waitrose. It was tempting to nip in for breakfast, but I wasn't sure they did it! Yet another thing in Ashford winding me up and reinforcing my desire to move somewhere/anywhere else as soon as possible.

Strange flashbacks...

2011-05-11T21:31:00.000+01:00

I've been doing the first 50% or the training courses work want me to complete today, including one to check whether people are fit to work... it was looking at work place stress at one point and listed the main causes as;
1. Deadlines

2. Excessively high workloads

3. Insufficient workloads

4. Insufficient training

5. Bullying or harassment

6. Over & Under management

7. Multiple reporting lines

8. Poor physical working environment

I feel I have experienced several of these in the past, luckily I am now working for a company who seem to value their staff much more and are looking for potential problems/issues and actively working to avoid/solve them before they get too bad! Such a wonderful change and a breath of fresh air so far as I'm concerned. I should have listened to myself and walked out years ago... I know how they affected me and how hard it is to drag myself out of the mess they reduced me to. I think I'm more the type of person I used to be and probably should be. I feel far stronger now than I have done for a very long time and I have a new focus - I want my little boy to be proud of me and also I need to be proud of myself and what I am capable of. I feel positive for the first time in years.

Tomorrow I'm learning about the new time sheets and stuff like that - I already have a few certificates as I've passed all my tests so far...and bled over the print room (just after passing health & safety!?!?! Ironic or what - I managed to take a chunk out of my thumb!)

Mikey has mastered falling asleep this evening - he fell asleep on me whilst having his bottle and was fast asleep before Andy put him into his cot!! For the last 2 days he's also managed to only have 1 outfit per day! The bibs have taken the brunt of Mikey's dirt onslaught - I wonder if we can make it 3 days running???

And tomorrow is Friday for me! I'm not actually working on Friday, Mikey and I are going to see Nanny and Grandad - who knows what words Grandad will teach Mikey this time!

First Planned Day off!

2011-05-10T21:04:00.000+01:00

Today was my first planned day off! It was great... Mikey still went to the child minder and had a lovely day - I think he was annoyed that I picked him up a little earlier than usual though! I went home after I'd delivered him, washed my hair and conditioned it (something I usually don't have time for) and had a chat with Emma before attacking various bits of the garden...at times with a saw! I love my style of gardening!

I also got through about a weeks worth of ER - so much Clooney, a perfect way to waste some time...plus I cleared some more space on the Sky Box! Probably needed now The Apprentice is starting again, I wonder which candidate will wind me up first this year! The one claiming to have been rained by Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama is already annoying me big time!

Other than the sawing/pruning I let myself just relax today... I felt I had earned it - after all last week in my 4 working days I collected over £1million! Now that doesn't happen too often and I am feeling rather proud of myself if I'm honest! I already know I won't be anywhere near that figure this week though - and if I did manage that sort of amount every week everyone else working for URS Scott Wilson will need to do a load more work! Unless I can get clients paying on account.... Could lead to some interesting discussions!

Next stage????

2011-05-09T21:20:00.001+01:00

I might send Mikey to my parents more often! OK, he's now worn 3 different outfits as he's felt the need to christen every item of clothing he's worn - but we now own 3 Teeth!! 2 at the bottom and 1 at the top! He's also decided the Florries Dragons on Disney Junior is not good and when Nanny W left him sat watching it went into cry mode until she came back to provide the necessary cuddles! It's safe to say my son is not daft! He's already worked out that cuddles are good!

I have a day off tomorrow but Mikey is still going to his child minder - I really don't want to disrupt his routine plus with the notice I had (last Friday) I'd still have to pay any way! Plus it means I get some 'me time' and I could start sorting out my wardrobe if I really get bored (Like that is going to happen!!!) I think what is more likely is that my hair will get conditioned and I'll catch up on all the ER's I have sat on the sky box! A morning drooling over Mr Clooney - sounds heavenly to me! I could always wash my car as well… I had intended to do that over the weekend but managed to get distracted/find other thing to do instead! I also have to start planning the birthday cake for next month and it will need a couple of practice runs I think… So cake testers may also be required (that will probably wait until Friday…Maybe Nanny Z would like to come and spend some time with Mikey at ours then I can go ingredient shopping etc!?!?!?)

I've also got 'glitter & glue' on Thursday…. 2 hours making cards once a month - another bit of 'me time' which makes me feel great! It's hard to explain why - but it just works for me! Mikey and Daddy get some bonding time and Mummy gets to forget about things for a while and just create something that a small person isn't going to then destroy! Unfortunately before it I have a physio session…but last time at least he didn't crack my back and concentrated more on my neck which is the bit that hurts the most and gives me the most trouble. I suppose I should go back to my GP - but I really don’t trust them…which may be why the Trust are putting a new management team or something in - I got a letter on Friday but I didn't really understand what they were going on about and Andy put it somewhere and I haven't seen it since! I know I'm not the only person who isn't impressed with the surgery - hopefully the nurses won't change but it would be good to have a few Dr's who stay put and don't keep going off sick and leaving locums there who you never see again! At least I kept the same midwife all through my pregnancy - although I did only see her once after I had Mikey…

Not much else has happened recently, I think Mikey got fed up over the weekend that he only saw Andy and I - he's used to seeing far more people than that so that could be one reason he got so tearful - although the new tooth could also have something to do with that I guess! He did perk up when Emma popped in, she keeps asking when he's moving in with her - if it was up to Mikey he'd be moving now! I know I'll have to let go eventually - but I never thought I'd be doing that at 10 months! We also need to get a new seat for him - he is trying so hard to sit up and the bouncy chair we have doesn't help him and he is really trying to escape from it most of the time. Nanny W has said we can borrow the circular cushion thing they have which he sits up in happily - I think we're going to have to as the bouncy chair is not going to survive him much longer and I'd rather return it whole rather than the 2 or more pieces that Mikey seems determined to change it into!

A Quiet Weekend

2011-05-08T16:55:00.000+01:00

As I write this Mikey has Andy in a headlock! The original plan I believe was for Andy to sniff the infamous nappy but Mikey just grabbed hold instead. I have a feeling this may lead to a series of raspberries being blown on Mikey and serious giggling from the smallest wrestler in this bout! Earlier I spent a while trying to stop him sticking his fingers in his ears - I still haven't worked out why he has a real fascination with sticking his fingers in there but he does! Probably I don't want to know....

One thing that is going to have to happen soon is the loss of some of Mikey's curls! They are growing fast behind his ears whilst the hair at the back of his head is growing far slower. This morning I threatened to tie them into bunches...and the speed those bits are growing at the moment I'll be able to soon! Failing that I'll just have to be brave and trim the curls myself if only to tidy him up a bit! I don't want people thinking he's a girl after all! Mind you with the mess he gets himself into most days that should be unlikely! He really is such a boy at times! Why simply eat food when you can wear it and save some for later!?!??!

We have been trying the crawling motion today - but it mostly ended up with Mikey landing on his face! We don't seem to have the coordination needed quite yet - but I don't think it will be too long... I found out today that I didn't really bother with crawling, I simply shuffled around on my bottom (and according to my sister I haven't improved...) And Andy went straight to walking so who knows what Mikey will end up doing - but he'll do it in his own time and when he is ready rather than whatever the books and websites say... After all he hasn't read any of them simply as they don't make enough noise or have flashing lights!

As someone who loves books I'm trying to convince Mikey they're good - but as a 10 month old wriggle monster all Mikey wants to do is eat and suck books!! Not quite what I want but there is still time for him to decide he loves losing himself in a good story...

Although he may prefer comics...he's just headbutted his father quite happily and violence seems to really appeal! We just need a super hero who loves fromage frais and Mikey will adore him or her!

2011-05-06T21:39:00.000+01:00

Why do so called short weeks seem to last 100 times longer than a normal one? This week was only 4 days thanks to the bank holiday on Monday for May Day (which may well be the last one we get) - I don't care that it's not politically correct, it's part of MY heritage and English History so it should stay. Unlike our Celtic cousins we don't get our Saints day off so why should we lose May Day??

Mikey this week has decided he has a new favourite toy - it's purple, bug shaped and makes one heck of a racket! I had been trying to convince him this week that it doesn't work in Mummy's car, but today I was kinder and let him take it with him… Luckily it fell on the floor fairly quickly and cruel, evil Mummy refused to stop to pick it up! I then left it with him with Nanny - I just wonder if it will still be working when I collect him! It does have an off switch but no volume control…although I'm sure a large hammer would have an effect! On other news we are still working on teeth, but we still only have 2 through - but from the various signs there have been this week I feel other arrivals are imminent! He's certainly creating enough fuss! And to think we'll go through it all again once they start falling out - how does one get in touch with the Tooth Fairy?? I know I threatened to wear Fairy wings for Emily's christening but I think they ended up in the loft! I also remember once swallowing a tooth myself and being totally devastated in case the tooth fairy didn't believe - I think I wrote her a letter and I know I got more than I usually did! Although I do remember being warned she wasn't always so understanding so I was very careful after that to try and pull them out before they got loose enough to fall out and be swallowed!

Otherwise our son is still decidedly vocal - he adores having the radio/cd on in the car and warbles along with it happily! Usually the right notes but more often than note in completely the wrong order! How old does he have to be before I can sign him up for a Cathedral Choir?? He did seem very intrigued by the choristers at the Royal Wedding last week! But I don't envy anyone trying to get him to wear a dress!! I had enough trouble with jeans this morning! And there are the odd word we can identify! He certainly says Daddy, sometime we get Mummy and he's working on Nanny - but poor Grandad doesn't get a look in! For some reason he also comes out with Baby fairly often….according to Daddy there is no chance of that!

In other news not much has been going on - Andy and I managed to lose exactly the same amount of weight this week - probably due to me not having my chocolate stash in the fridge. It may be good for my waistline but it really doesn't help stress levels when it gets to late evening and I go into chocolate craving mode…and at time like that Basics Chocolate mousse just doesn't fill the gap! Plus I couldn't 'borrow' any from Mikey as all his is White… Not even proper chocolate and so safe from the Mummy shaped Chocolate fairy! I can't guarantee the Daddy Shaped one won't succumb eventually though…! Other than that I'm seriously thinking about hitting the baking bug again next week… Hopefully we will be having our semi annual Eurovision gathering and food will be needed. I have Friday off and may just use the time to see if I can be creative (plus it will let me practice for possibly creating a small persons birthday cake!) For some reason I have a desire to make a red velvet cake…no idea why but I know I'm going to have to make it before I can move onto something else! Maybe I'll make small cup cakes and try to think of something European for the icing! Now that should be a challenge! Other than that I will confess food ideas are fairly slim and pretty none existent!

Can someone please slow time down for me???

2011-04-30T11:14:00.000+01:00

Today is the end of April, so we're a third of the way through this year already! It hardly seems a week since Christmas and new year - Plus in a month and a half my baby boy is a year old... This time last year it still seemed ages until he was going to arrive, especially as my original due date was the beginning of July!

After the excitement of the Royal Wedding yesterday I was expecting today to be much quieter...But Mikey had other ideas and today his second tooth is through! We now have 1 teeth at the bottom at the front. And bless him, he celebrated by biting my finger when I was checking his teeth with my finger - I really should know better!!

I will admit I had cry yesterday at the wedding... The bride looked stunning and her husband to be (at that point) told her as she arrived at the alter - perfect timing and exactly the right thing to say. He's already learnt that women can never get too many compliments so I'm hoping this royal marriage will work! I was also really proud to be British, there were 1000's of people in London and very few arrests, even the proposed demonstrations by Islamic groups didn't seem to hit the news or cause any problems. I know that i Now live in a multi cultural society - but I'm also proud of my heritage and history...And if they choose to move here for the freedom they now enjoy, they should make allowances and not interrupt the history and heritage of this country! OK, mini rant over as they didn't manage to achieve their ultimate aim - not that i think the crowds in London would have let them!!

I have to admit I was also thinking about my Grandmother (Nanny) she would have adored yesterday and I remember how excited she was when Charles and Diana got married...luckily she never knew how it all ended as she had died before it all imploded. But I remember rushing to Jarrolds in Norwich the day after the wedding to buy her a book all about it with loads of photos so she could relive the event whenever she wanted to (she never had a video machine - she would never have coped with that!!) And she would have adored how the new Duchess looked, and wouldn't have missed a second of the coverage! And she would have joined Mum and I in discussing the various outfits on show...especially the York Girls and as a Yorkshire woman through and through she would not have been impressed how they looked!

The photo today is Mikey at 6 days old...he has changed so much in the last 10 months, and I feel I'm falling in love with my little boy even more now - I can hardly call him a baby any more...

Need a boost

2011-04-29T16:56:00.001+01:00

Not sure what the problem is but I'm just feeling really down/low/fed up, but Mikey did make me laugh this morning when he was trying to master flag waving...Daddy nearly got it up his nose at one point and I thought flying a flag upside down was a sign of distress!

I know it probably isn't considered cool to watch the wedding but we did, I though she looked stunning and I'll admit I cried - I just hope they are allowed to get on with their life together without anyone else trying to live through them or control what they do. It's their life and they need to be left alone to get on with it - I'm sure they are able to decide what they want so do and how they want to do it. But if they have a little girl we have to perfect person for her to marry in around 30 years time! Although I may have mentioned before I'm not happy at the thought of him joining any of the armed services...

Not much has really happened this week - we still don't have any more teeth (I checked yesterday and got bitten) but Daddy has admitted that looking after a small person is exhausting! I could have told him that - and I'm sure I may have mentioned it once or twice in the past before I went back to work! But next week I'm sure Mikey will be very happy to go back to Debbie! At least that way he'll get to go to the park on a regular basis again - I'm sure he's missed doing that this week.

On work news I had a mini success - my first attempt at cash forecasting wasn't too bad! I was aiming for £1,825,000 and yesterday I was £22,000 short - but if the money we've been promised comes in by tomorrow I'm going to be on target! I'm decidedly amazed and I have no idea how it's happened - all I have to do it repeat it again next month! But there is a distinct lack of bank holidays compared to April so that will impact on my figures as well I imagine!

Mid week and the hump has hit...

2011-04-27T21:07:00.000+01:00

Another odd day really - and major league bed suction this morning meant getting up was 100 times harder than yesterday…and I have a feeling it will be even worse tomorrow. I have no idea why I am so exhausted all the time, I could sleep for England at the moment! I have no problem getting to sleep and most nights I stay asleep…although last night I will admit I didn't as my bed fellow was in wriggle mode and that kept waking me up! When he finally got up for whatever reason it was so tempting to simply roll over and make sure he couldn't get back in! I would have thought he would know by now that it is MY bed not his!!

Work today has been annoying more than anything else. Most of the companies I've needed to call have let their accounts staff have the 3 days off… NOT ON!! I'm still working so I would prefer to speak to people rather than leave voice mail messages that I know full well won’t ever get returned. When I did get to speak to a human it was a major achievement although I'm sure at least one person I spoke to doesn't have English as their first language and hadn't got a clue what I was talking about! I did resort to e-mailing my question at that point and I don’t hold out much hope of getting the sort of reply I need!

I think Andy is finally realising what trouble our son can cause! He looked almost as shattered as I did when I got home last night… although he did admit that he had a nap during the day whilst Mikey had his…that's something I never mastered - all the books tell you to sleep whenever the baby does but I just couldn't quite manage it and used to end up watching him sleep! Unless I was doing my wonderful impression of a mattress which at one point was the only way I could get him to have a nap! Poor old Andy has the added joy that he is doing hi s best to get mobile now…we may not be crawling quite, but we can get around rather quickly simply by rolling - although I'd imagine that can make him pretty dizzy at times - probably a good thing he's going blond at the moment!

Easter...new beginnings???

2011-04-23T13:13:00.000+01:00

OK, as links go this one is pretty tenuous! But Mikey has finally got his 1st tooth!! He is now the grand old age of 10 months an the first one has appeared! It probably explains why he was so clingy and grotty last weekend and why we have been getting crying at really odd times for no real reason, but he is perfectly happy now!

We are still not crawling - but to be honest we don't need to! Who needs to crawl when you can roll pretty damn quick and get to wherever you want to that way!??! Yesterday poor Daddy had 2 big problems..1) keeping Mikey's sun hat on Mikey's head and 2) stopping Mikey rolling off the rug into the few plants we actually have in the garden (especially as these include nettles mixed in with one rather large shrub!) I know we need to sort the garden out to be Mikey friendly but neither of us likes/is any good at gardening and paving it isn't really an option unless I can get rubber paving slabs as those won't hurt when he falls over! (But the 'lawn' is so hard/cracked I'd imagine that will feel like falling on concrete as well!)

Lunch time today was a real battle - Mikey is not in an eating mood unless the food happens to be fromage frais! Which his main course his mouth was firmly close and he was not in the mood to eat at all... he is now covering everything in his radius in juice - not sure why to be honest but he seems to be enjoying it! And he is now eating his phone, or at least sucking the strap designed to let Mummy attach it to things so Mikey can't just fling it at the world!

Daddy has been busy this morning fixing a fly/insect screen to Mikey's bedroom window meaning we can try to reduce the temperature in there to something below sauna level which is what it's been for the last few days whatever we've tried! Mikey has spent most of the morning rolling again, and trying to collapse his mat! There are 2 arcs which cross it diagonally an fasten together in the middle - Mikey finds it totally hilarious do make them fall down... well it makes him laugh/chortle etc! Who am I to argue with whatever amuses him!

Monday...at least this is a short week!

2011-04-18T20:03:00.000+01:00

Today has been a little odd… Mikey is still not really himself and was not in the right frame of mind to get up when I wanted him too - or is this just a typical boy thing??? Breakfast wasn't too much of a battle until we got to his bottle, this led to the usual waving of the milk, but thankfully he wasn't trying to stand up on me at the same time so he couldn't get too much forge behind any throwing action!

Shortly after I declared a truce with the bottle he was loaded into Daddy's car and set off to Nanny & Grandad's. I got a text mid morning to tell me he was having a nap and when I phoned at lunch time he was apparently much more himself and had even smiled at the window cleaner! Hopefully we will have another good night tonight… preferably without his calpol vapour plug as that just makes me feel decidedly sick… which hasn't been fun at work today as I feel queasy when I arrived and someone is wearing a rather strong aftershave which is also making my stomach do a great impression of a cement mixer! I haven't felt up to eating lunch either so I know my sugar levels are going to be low, although the number of extra strong mints I've been eating may help push them up again!

We didn't make it to Andy's Dad for lunch yesterday. Somehow I think it will take a while before Andy forgives me as he was looking forward to a huge traditional Sunday lunch! But I wasn't happy to take the little one out and Andy would have not been impressed if he'd done his screaming trick all the way there or back! I might be a neurotic mother, but when he's not well I'll do whatever I have to in order to protect him…

He's now home and seems back to normal!! He's had his bottle and I'm wearing quite a lot of it! Unfortunately I'm still feeling really sick and the thought of eating is quite possibly the worst idea in the world... I feel that I need to throw up but the thought of doing that is equally horrific as just eating.

Tough Day

2011-04-16T21:14:00.000+01:00

It had been my selfish intention today to take things easy and rest as much as possible as, to be honest, I'm still feeling pretty fragile and crap... But Mikey woke around his normal time so I was up making his breakfast and we then went and woke Daddy up to carry him downstairs! Andy then retire back to be for a while longer and reappeared as I brought his mug of tea through from the kitchen! I then got dressed and dashed over to the pharmacy to collect my prescriptions which they had tried to deliver twice yesterday (whilst I was at work which they were perfectly aware of!)

When I got back we both tried to convince Mikey to have a nap which he eventually did for nearly an hour, waking just in time for lunch which he really didn't want and once I gave in he spent a long time cuddled up on my knee crying before he finally fell asleep and was transferred up to his cot (very odd for him as most days he prefers to stay with people)

Once he woke up he seemed happier and demolished a couple of pots of fromage frais and then had some time in his walker and rolling round on the floor.But by the time we got to about 6.00 he was totally miserable again and whilst having his last bottle we were subjected to some pretty impressive vomiting...poor little thing really didn't know what was going on, so far we've only really had reflux so I think this scared the life out of him. He then settled down again on the familiar Mummy mattress and soon was calm enough to be transferred back to his chair to have a cuddle with Bradley Bunny who seems to be the favourite today for some reason...He is now safe and sound in his cot and fell asleep again in record time. Poor little boy is so tired.

The sniffles...

2011-04-13T13:21:00.000+01:00

One thing I had forgotten about working in an office...everyone is so sharing! I now have a wonderful cold and to borrow a phrase from my brother-in-law I am officially a snot monster (maybe a new character for Avenue Q!?!?!?) Thankfully Mikey isn't around today so I'm happily miserable at home, wrapped in my blanket whilst cuddling my tissues with a waste bin close at hand so I don't cover the floor in horrid used tissues! All I need is a slave to keep up my supply of drinks and I'd be in heaven! And my throat may continue to work instead of feeling as though it's being sandpapered!

The other downside to this truly wonderful cold is that my appetite has got up and wandered off somewhere - and as everyone keeps telling me that won't help me lose weight. I did cook for Andy last night but nothing appealed to me in the slightest. Instead I went out to get some change for the carpark for today (well it will do for tomorrow now!) and that was fun! Most of the roads seemed to close just as I got the them! I ended up at Sainsbury's filling the car up with petrol and had to come home via the middle of town! There is possibly a shorter route home but I don't know it...and my phone was safe and sound at home so I couldn't call home for advice/directions! Not that I would ever phone and drive at the same time... I do have a bluetooth headset but my phone won't admit that it actually exists so I would have had to pull over and tried to explain where I was - never easy for me to be honest!

Work....who's bright idea was this???

2011-04-11T20:41:00.000+01:00

Interesting sort of day really… My first day on my own as the credit control department!!! And miracles do happen - the Monday report went according to plan and all the vlookup stuff I needed to do to bring comments etc through from last weeks report actually worked without me smashing my head on a desk or wall (or any other hard, injury causing surface!) I also stayed calm with Ireland and got my cash forecast to balance… last week I was only £2,400 out on my amount - and I got more in than I was expecting so surely they can't moan about that! And so far this week the amount that I'm expecting to come in and has arrived is exceeding the amount I wasn't expecting… All good and guaranteed to make Heather feel happy for once on a Monday!!

I still feel weekends are far too short though, this weekend could have done with loads more sleeping time. It didn't help that both Mikey & Andy fell asleep yesterday morning and I was wide awake and trying to stay quiet so I didn't wake them. Andy is grumpy enough without me waking him by accident . In the afternoon Mikey was helping me put his latest batch of photos onto his album, the way I'm going it will be Album 3 soon and I know that I have now used all the empty/spare ones that I had… Maybe the Easter Bunny might provide a couple! I know it's not exactly technological but I like having the album to flick through and I can honestly say that I can hardly remember him being as tiny as he was when he was born!! Not that he felt tiny at the time… and having seen one of the other NCT babies yesterday he really is growing like a weed! She looked really tiny compared to our wriggle monster! But she does have 2 teeth and can crawl (OK, only backwards) whilst all we do is roll across the floor! Actually pretty quickly so we're off to collect stair gates on Sunday! I have a feeling from the movements he is trying to make that crawling will happen fairly soon and then all hell will be unleashed as the monster gets mobile!!

Today's photo is one of my favourites and I think it really needs some kind of caption - I really hope and pray Mikey isn't thinking what I think he's thinking as he's far to young to use language like that!!

One step forward at long last!

2011-04-09T17:26:00.000+01:00

Finally had some good news!!! The moron's Insurance company have accepted full liability for the accident.To be honest there was no way they could try to wriggle out of it as 1) the was trying to make a totally stupid (and possibly illegal manoeuvre) 2) he admitted he was on the hone at the time and 3) he didn't hand over any detail to me and legged it from the scene as soon as he could. But knowing that is a huge leap to Aviva admitting their driver is totally in the wrong and they will pay up fully - there is a big part of my past where I was one of those 'Thieves and Vagabonds' (to quote my father) trying to get out of paying any claim in any way if I could find any loophole etc. I just have to wait for the payout to come through now,(I think they have a time limit under the FSA now...) but at least my poor little car is back looking normal (for it!) now even though I am very nervous driving down Brookfield road now (I will drive any different way I can just to avoid it really) or whenever I see a silver transit van.

I also had the joy of talking to the Tax office this morning. I tried to tell them about my new job last month when I signed off, but they didn't want to know as I didn't have my PAYE reference - even the Job Centre apologised for the Tax offices lack of help and rudeness! This morning I found one even ruder! But when I called back and spoke to Craig he was far more helpful and thinks they may get it all sorted fairly soon (certainly before the end of July!!) I think this many be a new government money saving policy - talk very fast in a thick/broad Scottish accent and totally baffle people so they leave you alone and go away! But of course if they've got it wrong it is all your fault and they get stern and tell you off! I wasn't having any of that this morning and reminded them that according to their records I had tried to tell them on 10 March and when I phoned last week they couldn't/wouldn't talk to me as they were running a system update prior to the end of the tax year...(not my fault I needed to go back to work and it happened in March/April! They also got a little shirty that I'd dared to change employers as well rather than returning to my previous employer.... I'm so looking forward to completing my tax credits renewal pack as In the last year I've had employers, maternity pay plus job seekers allowance... and baby brain on top of all that!! No wonder they get stroppy!

This afternoon has been quite amusing - we were watching the National an the small person decided to bounce along with it! He got rather excited/over excited towards the end and added a few screams for good measure - I doubt he'll make a jockey as the prediction is he'll be around 6' when he reached his full height and neither parent has EVER been skinny and based on his current showing he is far too fond of his foo to try starving himself to make a jockey's weight! But his other career option this afternoon has been a singer as I'm watching a programme about the nations favourite Abba songs and he's been joining in... all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order bless him!!! He's now rolling around on the floor perfectly happily, this morning we did proper roly polys and ended up on his back again - a bit of a chock the first time so he kept doing it as it meant he could move quite quickly and grab whatever he wanted! He's just found the squeaker on his mat now and is stomping on it!! He has also een eating fromage frais again...this afternoon we've discovered we rather like apricot...and if he gets close to a naked flame he may end up in orbit with the gases he is producing!!

A first...

2011-04-03T22:02:00.000+01:00

For me at least! Today was my first Mother's Day as a Mum!! If I'm honest it is a day I thought would never, ever happen and first thing this morning I was rather emotional and had to escape to the kitchen at one point for a little cry... Thankfully it was sunny hits morning so I could hide behind sunglasses when the tears threatened again! I know I was being very stupid, but having waited so long for Mikey and had so many emotions in past years when I thought I'd never have a baby I decided I was allowed to be a little silly on my first Mother's Day!

We started with a trip to Nanny in Ashford, she seemed to like her Mikey Mug and he was exceptionally happy to play with the box it was delivered it! Maybe Jose was right on Friday when he suggested a drum kit is needed for a birthday in June, the box got well thumped/battered this morning! Next it was over to Medway to see Nanny and Grandad for lunch, Mikey needed his as soon as we got there an it seems he is quite partial to Fish Pie a la Cow & Gate! Followed by custard of course and then an post lunch nap, as he'd only had a 30 minute nap as we drove over there! After his nap and recital on his baby walker it was time for juice and a biscuit, some of which is still stuck to Nanny's trouser leg after Mikey had sucked it an then thrown it on the floor... Luckily Barley pretty much ignored it so eventually he did manage to eat most of it (well the bits that didn't end up stuck to Nanny!) We finished off with some bread and butter soldiers and some apple & cookie crumble before finally having another nap as we drove home! Nanny thinks we may be having another growth spurt as naps seem to be becoming more and more important to him! I sort of hope not as it means yet more clothes shopping will be needed and he still has a few bits from Christmas he hasn't worn yet!

The photo is the one we had put onto mugs for both Nannies... I'm sure a photo of Mikey was much preferred to one of Andy or I!! (Although I have just noticed he seems to be going cross eyed on it for some reason!)These internet photo companies are great - they also produced calenders for grand parents at Christmas... it is nice to get something more personal at times!

A Quiet week...

2011-04-02T21:57:00.000+01:00

Which was a good thing so far as I'm concerned! My main excitement was watching Mikey roll over for the first time, and then this morning he said/yelled 'Daddy' and waved at Andy so we're both happy parents!

I now have my little car back, woohooo!!!! I had got used to the Focus and when I took my little C2 out for a drive it felt tiny and the brakes are far better than the Ford - I nearly stood it on it's nose whilst throwing me through the windscreen! But the seat is far more comfortable than the Ford and I've pretty much got used to it again now! Mikey is loving the car seat we're borrowing, he can see out of the windows now, but getting him into the back is not an easy manoeuvre! But I'll get used to it, the main thing is that he is safe and happy.

The photo is Mikey 'fixing' his laptop. It wasn't broken when he started and I think his method of slamming it upside down on the tray of his babywalker may well catch on! He seemed to find it satisfying at least!

This week is our wedding anniversary... 9 years... I wish I could remember more of it but it was fairly well wiped from my memory nearly 3 years ago, the photos have helped a little and I will get round to watching the video at some point. But I think we both look married so I guess it really did happen! It is also my very first Mother's day tomorrow. Last year I was still with bump as he didn't appear until Father's day, now he has really made his presence felt and it does feel as though he's been around forever. I did admit earlier that I can hardly remember the pain of having him... I must really be insane!! I have to confess that I've dropped subtle hints regarding breakfast in bed... I'll have to wait and see if it actually happens as I know the smallest family member will want his first and won't accept anything else happening before he gets fed!

A week on...

2011-03-27T14:36:00.000+01:00

My one big achievement this week is I've one a full week at work for the first time since March 2010!! It should have happened last week but a transit van made sure that didn't happen!

I've been driving the focus around this week -I was told I would get an equivalent car to mine... OK, so they've given me a 1.6 car but it is like I'm driving an oil tanker to be honest! I look in the rear view mirror and it feels as though the back of the car is miles away! But as a friend pointed out I do feel safe in it due to it's size. The other positive this week was my diabetes check up - I'm now down to 1 tablet a day and there is a good chance that could be dropped further in 4 weeks time! It is possible that it was gestational diabetes as I was diagnosed after I was pregnant (I just didn't know I was!) + I got through the whole pregnancy without being switched to insulin... but they will still keep a close eye on me as it is very possible that I could still end up with full blown diabetes in the future so I guess I still need to carry on with the infamous diet.

We are heading over to Nanny & Grandad's this afternoon, but right now both Mikey & Daddy are having an afternoon nap, but I guess that means I will get to 'enjoy' Mikey singing in the car later, I forgot to warn Daddy that he does this earlier this week so I think it shocked him slightly...must find a child friendly CD to have in the car today - all suggestions gratefully received! We don't have any childrens cd's yet - except a lullaby one which I don't really want on when I'm driving! I know he likes Queen...maybe that is an option!

Work seems to be going well, I think my brain is starting to forgive me and also remember stuff which may be useful! I'm also improving my geography...we really do seem to work all over the world! I need a world map on the screen in front of my desk so at least I know where I'm chasing money from!

Mikey is loving his baby walker - he isn't too impressed with the carpet though as it means he can't move too easily! But I don't fancy going down to the floorboards as I have a feeling it would be a little drafty/cold for us! Nice if we have a hot summer, but not so great in the autumn/winter I guess.

Bad Day

2011-03-20T16:48:00.000Z

I have now decided that I really don't like the 18th March. I was driving along Brookfield Road so I could drop Mikey off on my way to work when a silver van, in the inside lane (supposedly going left) suddenly turned right, into the front of my car. He got out and said sorry whilst I suggested he move his transit as he was blocking the road at that point (whilst I noted down his reg No and the company phone number, in case he tried to drive off) Once we got to the side of the road his boss appeared as if by magic! Neither of them knew their insurance details so I left my contact numbers so they could call me later - at this point my overwhelming need was to get Mikey out of there and to somewhere safe. Bless him, he didn't even cry - which was lucky for Will as if he had the chances are I would have flattened him. The Boss followed me to Rachel & Brian's as I wasn't too happy to drive my car, one there Brian made me a mug of tea and I think the adrenaline wore off and what had happened really hit me - especially the fact Mikey was in the passenger seat and could have been killed.

What really annoys me is the driver had been on his mobile and never actually stopped talking to the person on the other end. I'm pretty sure he was talking to work as when he drove off he was given some oasis shapes to add to his load... This has all been reported to the Police - I just pray that they take some action against him as the company have told me that they can't control whether or not their drivers obey the law and can't/won't stop them using phones whilst driving. He also said he wasn't paying attention whilst driving so didn't see me... Basically I'd like him hung, drawn and quartered, as slowly and painfully as possible. Andy came home not long after I'd arrived at Rachel & Brian's and the rest of the day was taken up with me bursting into tears fairly frequently, going to the Police Station to make my report and then heading to A&E to be checked over. I now know officially that I have whiplash and over the weekend it has got worse so I'm currently living on co-codamol to try to keep the pain under control. Although the large glass of wine on Friday night helped too!

All that is happening now is a car is being delivered to work tomorrow and the repair garage should be picking mine up at some point...it would have all happened much quicker if the 3rd Party Insurer had just admitted liability on Friday, but they are still processing the claim at the moment (commercial claims never get done quickly) but the bloke that followed me on Friday pretty much admitted liability to Rachel when he got there - I wasn't listening at that point, I just wanted to get Mikey inside and cuddled. My poor little car will need a new bumper, wing and possibly a new bonnet and serious work on the passenger door as opening that makes a very odd noise, I'm also worried about the front tyre especially with the number of potholes in Ashford... if that blows the damage will be far worse and cost them loads more (so I am trying to mitigate any loss!)

First Day ....DONE!

2011-03-12T14:24:00.000Z

Well I survived my first day back at work... I will admit I cried my eyes out as Mikey left with Andy to go to Auntie Nicky (I really need some new none cryable makeup) But I pulled myself together, had breakfast, and set off to park the car and face whatever was waiting for me in International House!

My main memory of the day is that my brain hurt! Well I did stop work at the end of April last year so all this thinking was a bit of a shock to my poor baby addled brain! Thankfully Nicky sent me a photo of my little monster at lunchtime so I could see he was fine - I doubt he even noticed I wasn't around! He was far too busy scooting around Auntie Nicky's kitchen in his new baby walker and going out for a stroll with Grandad and Barley etc etc Who actually needs Mum with so much excitement around!?!?!

As I left work there were TV cameras waiting! A little over the top for my first day back I thought! But it was actually to do with the light display on the front of the ofice block out up by SEEDA at a cost of approx £200k so people coming out of the station have something interesting to look at apparently! As I left in daylight I missed out on my starring role and just found my car and headed home for a cuddle - from Mikey not Andy...

More Bendy than I thought...

2011-03-10T20:38:00.000Z

I've been to see my Arthritis Consultant today and it appears that I have joint hypermobility... or I'm double jointed!! I have never been known for my flexibility and in the dim and distant past when I had ballet lessons (honestly, well I went anyway!) I wasn't very good and my turn out and extension was pretty awful! But recently when I've had knees and ankles give out it has occasionally felt as though my knees are bending backwards (like a flamingo!) I have mentioned this to a GP who told me I was talking rubbish... It now appears I wasn't and it was the ligaments in my knee not holding it properly! My nephew has just been diagnosed with the same thing and my sister also has it... I will have to keep an eye on Mikey. Maybe he will be a Billy Elliot and will want ballet lessons as well!

I'm really hoping his teeth come through soon, they seem to be hurting him big time now and lunch time today was a real battle, 2 pots of Petit Filous when Daddy came home seemed to sooth the pesky gums though and he now seems quite happy. Mummy on the other hand is going through so much guilt at the thought of leaving him, luckily he'll leave before me in the morning so I can re-do the mascara once he's gone...

But being positive (to stop leaky eye syndrome) I am looking forward to getting my teeth back into something I know how to do and I'm not guessing at and/or making up as I go along! But Mikey seems to have survived so far without too many ill effects. My wonderful health visitor kept telling me to go with my instincts from the very beginning and it seems to work! I'm also trying to keep as calm as possible so Mikey picks that up rather than my normal panic mode! And I don't over react when he does something unexpected - which is something he is very good at and seems to enjoy!

He is also one very friendly little person - today he was charming the ladies in the blood test room at William Harvey as the consultant wanted another 6 or 7 vials of blood and my veins were not in helpful mode! It all came out of my wrist again but I have been assured I won't get a bruise like the one I have from Monday morning. This is a relief as it;s my left wrist and if I don't have my watch on I will not be a happy bunny!

One thing I've had to do is get some passport photos done for tomorrow... I admit I haven't had any done since 2003, but £5 for 4 tiny photos...and as usual they are not at all flattering so I'm now desperately hoping they are not for a security badge! As if they are, I'm not wearing it! But what is even better in NO MORE HI-VIS!!! I will no longer look like a tangerine with legs walking into work!!

All change

2011-03-08T17:29:00.000Z

I got a phone call yesterday offering me a job...I'm slightly astounded to be honest but also totally excited whilst feeling terrible at the thought of leaving my little darling Mikey... Why do we have to be torn in 2 directions?? I know Andy is also being affected as he would prefer me to be looking after him but, to put things simply, we can't afford for me to stay at home unless we both stop eating and wanting to go anywhere! At the moment I am hopefully starting on Friday but I have not yet had the paper work through so it could be Monday or later instead! But we do have a time restraint as the person I'm sort of replacing goes on Maternity leave at the start of April so the date isn't exactly a majorly movable one!

Tomorrow we're off out with my sister - Bluewater beware! I think we're going out for lunch to celebrate slightly... All I have to do is convince Mikey he wants to get up and moving earlyish and that he actually wants to get dressed rather than stick to one of his nice comfy babygrows! I need to pack lunch etc this evening as it'll save me no end of time in the morning. I have a feeling we will have to visit the Disney Store - another first for someone provided he doesn't fall asleep at the wrong time!! But I doubt he'll fall asleep - there will simply be far too much for him to see! And knowing how nosey he is he won't want to miss a thing!

Yesterday he gave Ashfords new garden centre his seal of approval! And seeing him chat to the chickens was wonderful! Also the look of total amazement when he saw the tropical fish was wonderful! He sat in his push chair with his mouth wide open (and not screaming!!!) Luckily Bluewater should be animal free (at least real ones!) so he won't have to process any more new animal images just yet!

This morning we had a very exciting experience. I had to go and had an ultrasound scan done on my knee and whilst driving round the carpark to find a space I heard a rather odd noise. My first thought was my car was about to become very expensive...I didn't notice the helicopter sat in the field... By the time I parked and got Mikey out of the car it took off over our heads. One little boy got so excited I thought he was going to take off himself! His arms were flapping so fast I nearly dropped him and the squeals didn't get drowned out by the engines, I think everyone in the waiting area was told all about it as well! The scan just showed I have creaky knees... also known as ostoe arthritis (or however it's spelt!) All I know is it hurts especially when it's cold or damp...or even worse both. I need to be somewhere nice and dry and warm!!!

noisy week

2011-03-05T18:17:00.000Z

Mikey is still very much into exercising his lungs at the moment! To be honest I would be grateful if he could lower the pitch but he seems to feel the higher the note the better!! When do their voices break exactly!??!?!?

We are still not showing any inclination whatsoever to roll over! But at least it means he does more or less stay wherever I put him! But the wriggling is getting stronger and he can move himself around on his back and the poor hanging animals are eaten on frequent occasions (I do feed him, honestly!) But eating stuff is Mikey's usual way of working out what stuff is! Although his usual reaction if it is edible is to spit it out straight away!

This week I've sort of re-discovered baking! I've been making bread and today has been cookies and muffins! Mikey has sampled the muffins which ended up behind his ears somehow! My son is amazing at managing to get mucky in any and every situation! We were weighted this week and he is now 8.7kg...or 19lbs 2oz so I must be getting the weaning right as he isn't failing to put weight on which is one thing I'd been worrying about!

We've had to buy a bigger car seat now - to be honest I can hardly lift Mikey in the carry seat we started with, so we now have a seat which is rear facing for now but from 12 months old he can face forwards.. A whole new perspective on life is going to open up for him! I just hope he doesn't start screaming whilst I'm driving as that will really be distracting! He has, so far at least, enjoyed looking at the lorries on the M20 - I can only assume that it is the colours that grab his attention. It can't be the noise as I always have the radio/CD on in the car and he is usually subjected to my singing so any other noise is totally drowned out! But he does join in sometimes as well so we have quite enjoyable trips when it's just the 2 of us travelling along the motorway to see Nanny and Grandad!

Decisions

2011-02-27T15:34:00.000Z

Today has been mixed! It seemed to start far too early as a certain small person wanted breakfast... One bowl of apple porridge later and he seemed happy!

I followed that up by washing and drying my hair - not a great move as I am now seriously concerned by the sheer amount of grey up there. My decision now is whether I age gracefully or continue to colour!?!?! At the moment I'm so not happy about hitting a milestone birthday I have a feeling I will continue to age very slowly!!

Last night my laptop decided to get infected by every virus/trojan etc around! We tried running scans and antivirus stuff but this morning it was still not opening anything at all so we've scanned it all day today and it is still on the danger list! If it dies there is no way I can replace it at the moment plus it has a load of photos I need to get off it and backed up.

But on a more positive note I made bread yesterday and, even though I say so myself, it was rather good! This domesticity is so not me but to be honest I am rather enjoying it! I've decided that I'm not buying bread any more... the machine makes smaller loaves so we don't waste any plus I love the smell as it's baking! So it's a win win really!

Climbing...

2011-02-20T15:36:00.000Z

Or at least I feel as though I am trying to climb a never ending hill. Luckily Mikey still seems to find the need to make me laugh as much as he can (this morning he was beating Daddy up with a teething ring or 2!!) If I didn't have my little boy I would be a much bigger wreck than I currently am - he and some wonderful friends have kept me going this week (especially on Thursday, thank you so much Brian & Rachel - I wouldn't have got through it without you)

I have also started keeping a paper journal this week, it means I can write exactly what I want about how I am feeling and not worry about who may read it... I know it is a little cowardly but at the moment I simply need a place to vent that other people can't then hold against me. I now sound totally paranoid and maybe I am...but I have learnt over the last few years what I need to do to protect me and at the moment that is the most important thing to me - along with protecting my son.

Not much else of note has happened this week really, I have been trying to hold myself together and be as calm as possible for Mikey's sake. My parents are off to Norfolk at the end of this week for a Funeral. Not a nice thought and it is for someone I never expected to have gone now... My memories of her are of someone full of vitality and life... Probably the nicest way to remember her really. I haven't actually seen her for ages - in fact the last time I saw her was the day Diana died... we had a birthday party for my Dad's 60th and she and her husband came down for it. That was another very odd day but one I'll never forget for a nice reason :-)

Big Dip

2011-02-15T17:35:00.000Z

Most of my friends are aware that I suffered from depression after I was ill in 2008. I went through counselling which was fantastic but at £25 a session I stopped - probably too soon, and I also had a course of therapy in 2009. Thankfully that was on the NHS so I didn't have to pay for my 12 weeks, just convince work to let me have every Friday morning off. When things get too bad I do go back to all of my notes from the course, today I re-read the lot.

I didn't get the job last week. But my feedback was my experience was perfect and I interviewed really well, but the person appointed is a Man (with the implication he hasn't just had a baby) Most days I would handle this with some sort of off the cuff remark such as 'I'm too good for them' but at the moment I have other things/people eating away at my self confidence and to be honest I'm finding it hard to pick myself up this time. My biggest 'fear' as such is I don't know where I belong anymore...it doesn't feel as though I'm in the right place to me...

My one saving grace at the moment is Mikey - he has a wonderful ability to make me laugh even when I'm crying my eyes out (there has been alot of that over the last few days) an even when he decides to use my sore knee as a football he has a really cute grim which just melts my heart. I guess most Mums feel like this about their children, but I suppose having waited so long for Mikey he is a little more special to me. I just want to do everything I can to protect him for as long as I possibly can.

I currently have a new health challenge...over the last few weeks I've been having trouble with my knees and ankles again, last Monday I got stroppy with my GP surgery an demanded an appointment (they don't like giving them out on Mondays as they are so busy...) Any came with me and Dr Raj dispatched us to the Hospital or a load of blood tests and an x-ray (I'm also having an ultrasound but not until March) I went back yesterday an it appears I have arthritis and have also had an attack of gout in my knee (Dave, you have my sympathy) so even though I have been losing weight I'm now feeling if I'm going to have gout the least I should do is get drunk to give it a reason for occurring... In fact I'm so fed up I could quite happily eat chocolate until I'm sick, bugger the diabetes.

My one bit of good news is my cholesterol level is down below what they want - but I still have to keep taking the statins to make sure I don't stroke out again...I do wonder what would happen if I simply stop taking the various drugs that are now part of my daily life. A day with no tablets would be fantastic...a dream really

Mikey is now getting very interested by the advert for the HM Armed Forces toys...He won't believe me that he isn't old enough for them and I hope he will be as laid back as a little boy as he has been as a baby - or I may have to dig a ditch with bear traps and fireworks in it as suggested to me earlier this week.

Update on Me!!!

2011-02-08T10:13:00.000Z

I know most of my entries are about my darling Mikey, but right now this one is about me for a change! Anyone who knows me will be aware that I frequently have problems with my legs not wanting to work. Over the last couple of weeks this has got worse for no real reason - I haven't tripped, fallen or done any or my usual stupid things! On Sunday my right knee started to get really painful and yesterday it was worse... I managed to get a Drs appointment he he has decided it is very likely that I have arthritis. He sent me off to the hospital for a barrage of blood tests and some x-rays...all good fun!

Thankfully Mikey was at Rachel's busy being entertained and fed, I've just remembered that I never quite got round to having either breakfast or lunch! That child eats far better than I do! As usual I refused to give much (any) blood from either arm so it was taken from the back of my right hand, the bruise is busy working it's way to the surface now so as well as a sore, swollen knee I have a very stiff hand as well!

The Dr has given me a whole load of paracetamol and some tramadol for the pain, I'm not supposed to be driving due to the pain relief, but I have an interview on Thursday so I am going to have to drive. I doubt they'll come to me for the interview to be honest!! I know I'm good, but....
I've also got some cream to rub into any affected joints - it does help but smells horrible! But the actual action of rubbing it in seems to help too! Any chance of getting a masseur on the NHS???? A nice hunky Swede would be decidedly welcome to come and massage my knee/leg anything else he wants to 3 times a day!!!

Other than my trip to hospital yesterday life has been pretty quiet! Not that I'm complaining about that at the moment - quiet is good! Mikey has still got a real love for screaming, and is extremely good at screaming around a dummy! But he is still better at giving cuddles and wonderful smiles! Coming home yesterday he just held my finger the whole time - just what I needed really!

The human mind

2011-02-05T22:22:00.000Z

I really should stop watching stuff like Casualty. I've just watched this evenings episode which concentrated on a Doctor having a breakdown. What really scared me is I didn't have a breakdown at the end of 2008. I was severely depressed but I was nothing like the state this character had got into (it is so nice to be able to say that!!) But I an VERY aware just how close I got to it. The thing I found really scary this evening is how much it felt as though the writers have been marauding through my head and one comment the character made about Mental Health practitioners was exactly how I felt about one of the professionals I saw a few times... I am NEVER going to complain about the help I have been given though, I feel very grateful and the Counsellor I saw was truly wonderful, but I paid her privately as the waiting list for a NHS appointment was far too long and I was very aware I needed help quickly so needed to start very much sooner rather than later. I am also very aware just how many people don't seem to think mental illness actually exists and that it's something that should be brushed under the carpet or better still ignored until it goes away. Having experienced it more than once it is real, scary and it doesn't go away if you ignore it - trying to that makes it worse. Please, if you know someone with a mental illness, never tell them to 'buck up'. Instead please give them a hug and listen - that will help more than you will ever know. My personal theory is the world needs more hugs and if we all did that it would be a much nicer and happier place.

On a much more positive note my son has been charming another woman again! This afternoon he met Sam for the first time, he was soon happily sat on her knee smiling at her ( he is a floozy!) before he retreated to the floor for some mat time! One thing both Andy and I are very aware of is just how lucky we are to have such a cheerful friendly little boy :-) And the fact he is happy for Mummy to have cuddles whenever she needs them is wonderful for me!

He also went up to bed easily this evening and I have a feeling he was asleep before Andy got downstairs! If I'm honest I would love us to have a brother or sister for him but we simply don't have the space for another child and knowing our luck a second would not be as laid back and easy going as Mikey! I'll just have to continue my campaign for a pet instead! I have ruled out hamsters etc as I know who would be left to clean them out and fish and birds simply don't appeal! To be honest I would really like a little female kitten for my birthday so the sexes in the house would at least be evened out!

Second Month of the year...

2011-02-01T21:25:00.000Z

This year is already whizing past far too fast - and I thought last year went fast!! Well to be honest the 2nd half of last year was far quicker than the first... I spent the 1st 6 months wadling around behind a bump!

The bump is now growing fast, I know I spend far too much time Mikey watching but I feel one of the best ways of describing me is a besotted Mum! In the last 2 days he has started waving at people (OK, so it is usually to say hello but I'm not going to stop him!) and he has definately come out with Mamma and quite possibly Mum. What is really scary is the knowledge that is isn't going to be very long before he is far more mobile, he seems to be itching to be underway now but luckily is still objecting to being on his tummy for any length of time so crawling has yet to happen!! And so far as Mummy is concerned it can take as long as it wants to arrive!!

Other than the baby not much else is happening on Planet Heather... Still job hunting and trying not to let it get me down (some days that is far easier said than done)

Oh yes, today Mikey had an encounter!!! We were at Auntie Rachel's when Kat arrived (which was lovely as I don't see her very often!) Mikey was having a cuddle when he noticed Kat had very long glittery eyelashes! The poor little thing freaked out and cried!! Luckily Mummy was still aorund as a safe haven! My son is basically a wuss when face with a woman with long eyelashes and glitter... but I guess we still have a few years to work on that phobia!

My other main thing at the moment is I want to get a Christening sorted out. I can't really explain why, I simply know that I need to get Mikey christened. Maybe I can still blame the after effects of Baby Hormones...Or I am just being a totally paranoid mother for no reason at all (probably more likely if I'm truthful!)

New tricks...

2011-01-21T14:41:00.000Z

We've made it t 7 months and to celebrate Mikey has mastered screaming for no reason at all. This has resulted in Mummy suffering a permanent headache and living on paracetamol for the forseeable future! The screams would be bearable if it was possible to vary the pitch downwards from the type we get at the moment which just goes straight through my head... It makes my past headaches feel like a stroll in the park and I have yet to decide of my head is trying to implode or explode! The thudding can get almost unbearable...

One new trick I am happy to live with is the way he can now grab stuff he wants! Right now he's on his play mat and I think he is trying to breed the elephant and the parrot! Somehow I doubt Dave would want one of those in his living room replacing the current visitor! We are also trying hard to roll over again, hopefully this activity will result in sleeping all night again, and sleep arriving soon after he ends up in his cot!

His other trick at the moment is to have a paddy if he is left alone - it makes going to the loo during the day interesting for me! Maybe I need a clone... he doesn't seem to mind who is with him so long as there is a person around (mainly to pick up the toys he flings across the room!) He has also started to react to his name! Maybe we did manage to chose the right one for him!!!

I'm still busy job hunting...this weeks knock back was due to me being over qualified. I could have done the job with one hand tied behind my back and both eyes closed. It was only a 3 month contract so I doubt I could have got bored enough to walk out in that time... It is nice to have skills recognised - but right now I just want a job. Much as I adore my son I need to spend a little more time with adults for me more than anything else (plus the money would come in handy too!) Just because I've had a baby it doesn't automatically follow that I'm going to have another one in the immediate future! It is illegal to actually ask the question in an interview yet I've had 2 where they have in a very roundabout way. What is even worse is one of the interviewers was also female and a Mum... But I'll still keep trying, there must be something out there for me!

16th January

2011-01-16T11:59:00.001Z

I really have no idea what to call this post...so I decided to stick with the date (to be honest most of the time I have no idea what the date of even the day is!!)

The interview last week was not successful. I will admit it really got me down and Friday night was tough...lots of tears and feeling totally useless. But then I decided I'm too good for them and if they can't even be polite enough to phone to tell me they aren't taking my application any further then I don't want to work for a company that is so rude. Plus on Friday my clever little boy rolled over!!! Some things are just far more important - it can just take me a while to realise that! He hasn't done it since and I think it shocked him a little, but it is the next stage and brings crawling a step closer! Now that does scare me...a mobile Mikey!!!

Andy has just been out to buy 2 more toy boxes - the toy collection in the middle of the lounge floor is starting to get in the way so they need a home! The next job is to work out how to fit 3 large boxes into Mikey's bedroom so that once he's a little bigger he can get to his toys (and learn to put them away himself!!) Somehow I think we may have to get a toy cupboard or something similar as well as a bookcase as he is starting to build quite a library! This morning he's been learning to use one of his toy phones, he was sat holding it up to his ear...maybe I spend too much time on the phone so he's just copying me!! He's also a mini magician as he can make his dummy vanish in milliseconds!!

Still...

2011-01-13T19:17:00.001Z

Still job hunting...the interview on Friday went well and to be honest I nearly enjoyed it! But I'm not what they are looking for and looking back I feel it wasn't the job for me! I think the stress would have been more than I had in my previous job and the hours would have been long - and right now I have other priorities! I've already done the 12 hour day thing and I now like having a life...Plus I want to spend time with our son having waited so long for him to arrive!

I had another interview today, again the interview felt as though it went well - but it was only an 'informal' chat and hopefully tomorrow I'll find out if I've made the short list. If I have I have a new problem...what to wear as I only have 1 jacket that actually fits and isn't too big for me now! Oh well, that is a problem for the weekend...tomorrow we are off to see Nanny and Grandad so Mikey can learn more of the Periodic Table! So far the only word we've recognised is 'Hello' and he's only said that once so far as we've heard... but he is only 6 months old so he has plenty of time for talking and he makes more than enough noise in his own way!

Mikey has spent alot of today playing with Auntie Rachel! I'm honestly not sure who had the most fun, but when I got home Mikey was having a restoring nap having fallen asleep on Rachel during Cbeebies! He can be rather adorable when he goes into snuggle mode and I think he may have worked out this is a good way of wrapping Auntie Rachel around his little finger! Not that I think she is complaining...

New Beginnings...

2011-01-06T14:47:00.001Z

I'm currently job hunting, if I'm honest I don't really want to go back to work - I want to be with my baby - but financially there is no way we can survive if I don't find a job... Supposedly I have an interview tomorrow, but that has yet to be confirmed. Hasn't stopped me gong into panic mode in advance though...

Mikey and I have been battling with the high chair this week... today we had lunch sat in it with no crying!!! Until he emptied his bowl but a quick cuddle and his bottle and we were a happy smiling boy again. He's now having a post lunch nap, which has meant I managed to have some lunch myself!

I've undecorated the tree today... I hate this time of year, everything is just dark and depressing, I feel like I have nothing to look forward to now as well. At least last year I had the birth of Mikey to look forward to, even if we did have a hiccup or 2 on the way...This year he's already here and I feel really down if I'm honest. I do miss being pregnant, I've lost the connection we used to have and I even miss all the kicking - and he was so good at that! I'll never forget the look of horror on Andy's face one saturday when Mikey was having a major workout and my bump was moving all over the place whilst he did it!

Andy's car is still off the road, this week he is using mine (whilst we can still afford to keep it) which has meant Mikey and I have been at home - not that the rain we have at the moment is exactly encouraging me to want to go out in it! Plus knowing how Mikey hates getting wet I don't think he would exactly enjoy it either!

2011

2011-01-01T14:36:00.000Z

We saw the New Year in from home last night...after all Mikey can't exactly be left alone plus I still have the remnants of the flu and didn't think anyone would appreciate me sharing that around!

Mikey went off to sleep fairly easily...Daddy has reprogrammed Scout so he had lots of lullabies to lull him off to sleep! We then settled down with the TV and a couple of boxes of tissues to await the arrival of 2011. For some reason the fireworks started about 9.30 and carried on all evening! After midnight the sky seemed full of Chinese lanterns - hopefully all the relevant authorities were warned this year and nobody reported UFOs or emergency flares this year!

The fireworks from London were pretty impressive - we copied them and Mikey watched them this morning, he seemed to find them quite engrossing and just watched them quietly! Maybe I need to make lots of recordings of fireworks to keep him calm!!! He's also started grabbing anything he can get his hands on...it all then goes straight into his mouth and however much he stuffs in he still seems able to scream at an ear drum splitting pitch! We have yet to find his volume control, his dummy is useless as he can scream round it!

1st Christmas

2010-12-30T12:45:00.000Z

Mikey seems rather bemused by the whole concept of Christmas! Thankfully he is now fully recovered from his pre Christmas illness (as he kicked over his medication on Christmas Eve!!) and had been observing the whole thing quite carefully! The present thing has baffled him, but his cousin helped out on the opening side of things... he seems relatively impressed by the small toyshop we now have in our living room especially as most of them make a copious amount of noise! At least they have off switches or I'd be removing batteries very quickly!

At least the snow seems to have stuck on the other side of the pond over Christmas...seeing as Mikey had to get to his adoring fans it was a huge relief as Andy isn't happy driving in ice etc and got a little stressed on Christmas Day as the road my sister lives on was still more like a skating rink than tarmac! We also headed over the Canterbury to see Andy's Dad on Monday.... more new people for Mikey to meet and he handled that with ease! He can be very sociable when he needs to and extremely charming (well he did get to sit on the lap of a glamorous blonde!!)

We have also moved onto cups for juice... a big step forward that he handled with ease! Although Pear juice can have quite an effect on nappies... I think that is enough detail though! He has also worked out that sticking hands in food is fun and you can clean your mouth by just wiping it with your sleeve! I guess mud pies will follow in the warmer weather!!!

Being British...

2010-12-17T14:29:00.001Z

Right now I think the whole country is concentrating very hard on being very british and worrying about the weather!! After all, how british can we get! At the moment we appear to be having another cold snap along with snow... I am now officially old as I can say with feeling that I hate the stuff. We simply can't cope with it and everything comes to a grinding halt plus I would love to actually see news on a news report rather than just a weather update!

I called this morning to chase up a prescription I requested last Thursday but haven't seen yet... the pharmacy checked their records, it has been passed to my GP (who are in the same building) so they nipped over to check what has happened to it only to be told it has never been requested! They showed their records showing it has so it has now been re-requested and the earliest it can be done is Monday, thankfully I won't run out by then (just) but I had allowed plenty of time when I requested it last week. In fact while I was waiting with Mikey last week they were searching for another one which they had amanaged to lose. They seem to be making a habit of this now! But getting an appointment with a Dr is hard enough when you are ill and no way am I going to try to do that just to get a repeat prescription done... Maybe if they had a decent receptionist again they wouldn't lose as many... The one they have is a real 'old fashioned' one who scares the life out of me when I phone up and doesn't talk to you but at you, they used to have a really nice one but she moved to another surgery just before Mikey was born.

My Uncle and cousin are supposed to be coming down from Yorkshire tomorrow (just for the day I think!) mainly to meet Mikey as they haven't met him in the flesh yet! And the rate he's growing they have got a little worried he's going to be walking and talking soon! He has spent quite a while talking to his dummy for some reason this morning - I have no idea if it made much sense but he seemed happy! We're still waiting for the first tooth to make it's appearance, if the drool is anything to go by it should be here at any time! He has chewed through one dummy so far and to be honest Mummy is a coward and doesn't really want to keep sticking her fingers in his mouth as he can exert quite a bit of gum pressure!!! The photo is Mikey and the Bear he was given by Santa, to be honest we weren't to sure what to make of Santa and kept a tight hold of Mummy but we've done it now and I'm sure we'll be fine next year!

Next Stage

2010-12-08T16:02:00.000Z

We've moved Mikey out of our room and into his own room now and he's now in his cot! To be honest he had out grown his moses basket... when he stretched he filled it completely so it really was time to move him! The only thing is he looks so tiny in his cot... I could fill it with soft toys to keep him company but knowing him they'd all end up on his face! So Mum would spend all night checking he was still breathing and not being smothered by a bear...

The first night was a little unsettled but we've soon learnt that he is like Daddy and needs noise (a radio) and a little light and then we get a nice quiet night! (well so far we have at least!) We haven't yet rolled over or anything exciting like that but we are very good at doing leg slams - and now we have the 'It's a Small World' Mobile up and playing that triggers even more! I think that will be a ride to avoid if we ever visit WDW with him!! I'm not sure how the boat would react to a Mikey leg slam!

We're slowly building up to Christmas, thankfully the snow has melted. I now know that I am getting old, it was pretty for the first day then I was totally fed up with the stuff and just wanted it to go. We showed it to Mikey through the window - after all he isn't really big enough to go and play in it yet, and his reaction was one of being completely unimpressed! Maybe next time he will be in more of a mood to find out how to play with the stuff!!!! But the next 'big' thing I think will be the Christmas tree when we get round to putting it up! I have a feeling the lights will be a big hit with him as we have little twinkly white ones which have a changeable 'pattern' so I can play 'confuse the baby' to my hearts content!! Only joking, I'll have to hide the controller incase he works out how to change it himself!

Coughing

2010-11-27T14:12:00.000Z

Mikey now has a new trick... He has mastered the art of the most pathetic cough you have ever heard and he started this cough just after 6 this morning and kept it going until 7ish when we stuck a bottle in his mouth which did at least stop the coughing for a while!!

Andy has also broken his car again! He decided on Wednesday that I was in no way in a fit state to drive myself and Mikey to Nanny and Gandad's so he would drop us of on his way to work, that bit worked fine but the car decided to break down as he tried to park it at the office! He got it towed home and found my spare keys and drove my car back to collect us (my keys were safe in my hand bag rather than leave them in the house for any burglar to find!) So We then had to get the car seat into the back of my car and me folded into the moved forward passenger seat... I so need a larger car but no chance of one of those at any time in the foreseeable future. But when I picked my car last year there was no inkling of a Mikey on the horizon so that possibility wasn't even considered!

Tonight is Andy's infamous Murder Mystery Party... It has already been hit by the weather with 1 charachter pulling out as her babysitter has backed out due to the possibility of snow or something (I admit I wasn't really listening to him that hard!!) I think I'm looking forward to it - so long as I'm not the murderer and I manage to stay warm enough...I may have to add a jumper to my outfit somehow! Shame I don't have one in the right colour though! If anyone has a purple jumper I can borrow please let me know asap!

THe last 12 months...

2010-11-14T11:37:00.001Z

I've just been reading my entry for Remembrance Day last year.... it was actually the 12th of November and I was moaning that I wanted a baby an there was no sign or chance I was going to get or have one! How little did I know! That was a Thursday and I did a test on the Saturday and found out I was expecting the little bundle we currently have bouncing in a chair right here now! How things change when you don't expect them to!! The last year has not been easy but I wouldn't change it and I would not want to change Mikey at all, I love him to bits and at the moment he and Daddy are playing with a teddy dressed as a devil (I wouldn't ask!!) as he was such a good boy during the 2 minutes silence - just 1 tiny quizzical noise just before it ended, really not bad for a 21 week old baby!!

Yesterday was my first full day away without Mikey... It was tough. I only phoned twice, which I was quite proud of, Andy sounded fairly calm but kept telling me he was crying and that didn't help! Luckily at the first call I made was from Sutton Valence and couldn't drop everything and rush back! It probably did Mikey good to have a break from me too if I'm honest!

Something must have changed as he didn't wake up until 8.20 this morning so by the time his bottle was ready didn't have breakfast until nearly 9.00!! But he seems very happy so I'm not going to worry! And he's still bouncing as he watches the march past at the Cenotaph...his timing is pretty good to be honest! But I don't really want to encourage him to join the armed forces if I'm honest... after all I'm afraid he will always be my baby however big he gets....

Headache cure

2010-11-06T18:05:00.000Z

I've found a wonderful headache cure...unfortunately I have a feeling the NHS won't agree to fund it for me as it is basically me spending 3 hours at the hairdressers being pampered... which is what I've done this afternoon! The only other possible other down side is I would eventually run out of hair - I know mine grows fast but it doesn't grow that fast! Today was a temporary colour (which only lasts a couple of shampoos and a cut & blow dry) But I spent 3 hours there and I did miss Mikey but I also had 3 hours of just being me! Something I haven't done since June really and if I'm honest something I needed to do for my sanity.

The solid food thing had a bit of a break yesterday, I decided I couldn't face another highchair battle and the seat we had been using for feeding was in the back of Daddys car for some reason so Mummy took the easy option and we stuck to bottles... the nice blonde nurse in creche fed Mikey much earlier than I was expecting so we had an extra bottle to fit in but I don't think he was too bothered! The only problem was the odd bang from fireworks, he wasn't upset he just seemed to be a little annoyed every so often. More I think as he didn't know what it was all about, rather than being scared or worried! I think we'll wait until next year before we take him to an organised event and he really isn't big enough for sparklers yet... But Mummy may have to have 1 or 2 after he has gone to bed!!

5th Month

2010-11-01T16:50:00.000Z

We've now had Mikey for nearly 5 months...to be exact he's 19 weeks old! But if I'm honest I find it hard to remember life without him now. At the moment he is sat on my lap screaming! It is very difficult to ignore him at times like this!

One bottle demolished and a happy baby is now bouncing in his chair with Freddie the Firefly (Lamaze toys are wonderful) who currently goes everywhere with Mikey and has bells and wonderful crinkle material wings and lots of 'bits' that are perfectly designed for small hands and fingers to grab. I have a feeling a couple more Lamaze toys may be delivered by Father Christmas this year as Mikey would most certainly welcome them! The advantage of Lamaze is although the toys make noise it isn't horrifically loud! Even when Mikey really lets rip it is still bearable!

We have now been having one solid meal per day for a week! I'm learning fast that baby food is not clothing friendly in colour! Especially those that contain carrot... I'm not sure the bib from Lunchtime will EVER the same! I will admit that Mummy has tried a few of the foods he's had... the apple cookie crumble (which Mikey didn't like) was delicious! I'm not so sure about todays but he loved it!

Deja Vu

2010-10-30T16:58:00.000+01:00

I have a very strong feeling of this right now....This time last year I was feeling very amazed as a headache I'd had since April finally seemed to be vanishing! As it turned out that was due to Mikey making his presence felt but as of the end of October 2009 I was totally oblivious! Unfortunately the headache seems to have realised I'm no longer pregnant and has returned to make my life miserble and painful again. I tried to make an appontment with my GP yesterday (as requested by my other half) but was told I can't make any appointment except on the actual day and not to bother on Monday as they are busy! Well I have a headache and a 4.5 month old baby so get un-busy! They managed to waste a morning of our time earlier this year so they can just fit me in somewhere! All they'll do is refer me back to my neurologist anyway... I just hope it won't mean more MRI scans, they only showed the existing damage last time and I proved I'm claustophobic again.

Other than the headache life is going well... Mikey is just starting solids and we've pretty much mastered baby rice now (along with tongue clicking and blowing raspberries!) We did try apple and cookie crumble out of a jar but that wasn't greeted with too much excitment (Mummy liked it though!) but tomorrow we'll try another flavour just for a little variety! Mikey was also happy to see Emma from next door as well this afternoon - although for once he didn't stick his hand down her front!!! But she did get some very nice smiles etc so he was clearly glad to see her (makes a change from Mummy anyway!)

Andy had a day off this week to get his car MOT'd...as expected it failed but it vanished early this morning and is now back and has a certificate for another 12 months!! Hopefully now he will be happy to drive around with Mikey in the car as getting all 3 of us into my car is a challenge! We tried last night and it came close to having to shoe horn Andy into the back as it is easier (!?!?!??!) than putting Mikey in the back - although it's not going to be long until we have to fit a seat into the back for him as he will be too big for his current car seat...and having tried to carry him in it recently I can see why he'll need a larger seat soon!

1st Family Outing

2010-10-23T20:42:00.001+01:00

Today was our first family trip out (other than to Mothercare!!) and thanks to the Sure Start Centre we got free admission to Leeds Castle which is valid for the next year!

I've been watching the forecast all week and it has been terrible! As we drove along the M20 the first spots of rain started but we'd wrapped Mikey up so kept going! After all, this is the UK so if we stopped every time it rains we'd never get anything done! Mikey was ready for the cold weather and pulled his arm right up his sleeve bless him!

When we arrived and found the car park I discovered the park etc was not nice and flat...instead we headed down a leaf covered slope - very slippery and not great with a heavy pushchair and sore ankle! At the botom we found Kim with our tickets and it turns out she used to work with Andy's brother years and years ago... our surname again!

As we wandered through the park it started drizzling...our first port of call was the Maze which we found eventually after going slightly off route! The sign posts were useless! Once we did find it (after a real downpour) it had a notice saying it wasn't compatible with pushchairs! We headed back via the Aviary where we met a couple of birds who were quite taken with Mikey - and for once they weren't blonde! But both said hello to him and even when all the parrots started screaming he wasn't bothered! Possibly his hood muffled the noise a bit for him! Once we'd left the birds we stopped off for a hot chocolate (well the wind was cold) and Mikey had a bottle whilst I chatted with Jenny from my Friday afternoon group,we got investifgated by a peacock but Mikey was really not bothered by it! Then it was a quick comforst stop for Mikey before we had a look at the castle (again not push chair friendly) But we have a year to go back again! As we left we saw a peahen with 2 chicks - I really hope they haven't been born too late...

For a first family outing it went well. Mikey was awake for most of it (I think the wind made sure of that!) and he chattered away most of the way round! Daddy had to push him back up to the car park, but he still refused to have a nap when we got home!!!

Falling apart

2010-10-16T22:42:00.001+01:00

My stupid ankle is loads better now...but where I haven't been walking properly I've now messed up my right knee and it is total agony, but no way am I going to see a Dr, Osteopath or any other medical type person as I'm going to take my old perspective on this problem...If I ignore it or long enough I'm sure it will go away!

Mikey is still busy growing, I weighed him at the Childrens Centre place on Wednesday and he's 14lb 15oz. My tiny baby is growing and he has even been wearing 3-6 month clothes too... He is also working hard on rolling over, we haven't quite done it yet but I don't think it will be too long once he's worked out how to get over the shoulder obstacle! He gets onto his side but really hates being on his tummy so everything comes to a griding halt! But I don't think that will last much longer as he seems quite anxious to get mobile!! I have a feeling the decorations on the Christmas tree may be on the top rather than the bottom half!

I will admit I have started Christmas shopping, and I am really loving looking at all the toys! We have bought a toy box but it is already full so I think we may have to buy another 1,2 or whatever in the January sales! Failing that I'll just give him the boxes and wrapping paper to play with!

Sue managed to get over to see us in between hospital visits - Mikey loved her as she is 1) blonde and 2) paid loads of attention to him! She also sang songs to him which unfortuantely Mummy can't remember due to baby brain so if Auntie Sue wants another cuddle before she jets back to the sanity of the USA she is very welcome and I'm sure tea etc can be provided! Any other people who would like a Mikey cuddle are also welcome provided that are able to have an adult 'type' chat with Mummy...! Much as I adore my son I do sometimes need to talk in something other than baby gurgles!!

Colds and flamingo feet...

2010-10-09T16:47:00.000+01:00

Mikey was supposed to have his 2nd lot of injections on Tuesday, but for the last week or so he has been decidedly snuffly! Being a neurotic mother I mentioned this to the nurse who promptly took his temperature... 37.3 The 'rules' say they can't administer the jabs with a temp over 37.5 so she wasn't to keen as this lot do carry a risk of increasing the childs temperature leading to convulsions. Once I heard that I was more than happy to pospone for a couple of weeks so we are now trying again on 18th October!

As a result I now seem to have caught Mikey's cold, I think yesterday was my worst time as I spent the morning wrapped in as many layer as possible plus a fleece blanket and was still shivering but by the afternoon I was nearly passing out as I was soo hot... Once Andy got home I was feeling a little better but by 8 last night I was back in shiver mode and went to bes at the same time as Mikey - again wearing as many layers as I could, plus socks and a blanket on top of the quilt! I was quite happy until just after 9 when I sent a text to the kitchen reuesting toast and I went hot again so took most of the layers off and threw the socks accross the room! By now my brain appeared to be over heating as well... I heard on the news that the Chinese Government had summoned the Norwegian Ambassador to moan about the Nobel Peace Prize being awarded to one of their 'criminal element' - I got rather wound up as the Nobel Institute is independant/automonous and not controlled by the Norwegian Governement. I had the idea that manybe the Duke of Edinburgh should go and sort the problem out! I then started thinking too much and the next thing I knew was the fluffy flamingo feet that I last saw/experienced during my coma were busy dancing on the ceiling. I spent most of the rest of last night sticking arms and legs out of bed trying to cool down (which really didn't work)

But it did meant that Mikey was smiley and cute when he met Sue on Wednesday, and he loved all the songs although I have to admit I can't remember them so we will need a recorded version of them for him! But he was chuckling away quite happily, especially as he has a real fondness for blondes!!

Thankfully Andy has been able to work from home this morning so Mikey hasn't been abandoned with his snuffly Mum - I may forgive him for laughing at me every time I blew my nose eventually... but he did find me rather amusing yesterday! So now I know - if he gets grizzly all I have to do is blow my nose to re-amuse him...

been meaning to update...

2010-10-05T12:32:00.000+01:00

I've been meaning to update for days - but I am very aware that, at the moment, my orld revolves around one particular small person and he is pretty much all I talk about...and want to talk about so if I bored you into submission I do apologise! But he has made such a change to my life it is very hard to think about anything else!

All that has happened really is my little baby is busy growing! We did manage to cut his nails at the weekend (well Andy was brave and did it) but other than that he is just getting longer. We haven't yet rolled over but he is getting a little agressive to his moses basket, when he really gets going it sounds like someome stomping upstairs in our bedroom! All this noise from 1 small person!!!

Currently he is using Mum as a mattress...I want to go and take some pain killers as I have a terrible headache, it has been decreed that I am staying put for now as my morning role had been decided for me! But it is a great way to get a major cuddle fest! Strange thought time... I know pets are taken into hospitals for pet therapy....maybe they could also think about taking patients to Maternity to cuddle babies????

Slightly more mobile!!

2010-09-25T13:14:00.000+01:00

My silly ankle is still playing up but I've had a session with an Osteopath and it is at least moving now! Apparently there was one bit that was in the wrong place and has probably been wrong since I broke it in 2002!!! It was a little painful having it corrected but at least it is done now!! I also had some ultrasound treatment on it - a little odd as all the previous ultra sounds I've had since last December have been to look at how a baby was doing!!

I can now cope around the house without a crutch so long as there is furniture within reach and when outside I'm coping with 1 crutch rather than 2. Still makes looking after Mikey a little challenging and he really doesn't understand what is wrong with Mummy - and explaining that will take the rest of his life!!

I've spent another couple of days with my parents this week - luckily Andy is off for some of next week so he can drive Mikey and me around!! I've been banned from driving for at least another 4 weeks unless I make an amazing recovery or my car turns into an automatic! But it has meant that Andy could use my car on Thursday and Friday as his had a puncture!

Mikey and I had our first baby massage lesson this week, he loved it whilst is was being done but by the end of Wednesday afternoon he was in a foul mood.... no idea what caused that but the screaming was unearthly and took major Mummy cuddles to stop.

We may need Mummy cuddles next week as well - Mikey has pretty much out grown his Moses basket so Grandad ordered his cot bed this week which is now in a box in our lounge waiting for Daddy to put it together... I may take Mikey out so he doesn't hear the swearing!! Just need to go shopping for sheets etc for it!

Still limping...

2010-09-18T12:48:00.000+01:00

We're now over a week on from my spectacular (not) slip outside the Osteopath's office and I'm still hobbling around like a 90 year old. Mikey and I have been travelling to my parents for most of this week, Daddy has been dropping us off on his way to work - I have discovered that my son is really not a morning person and is not ah his most smiley/happy at 8.00 in the morning. Also he doesn't like Wednesdays and was a real grump all day as well as screaming everytime the car stopped in the morning, we have not yet grasped the concept of traffic lights or other traffic!!

It has been a fantastic help being at my parents - 1) I can't pick Mikey uo and walk with him and 2) they have a downstairs loo! I think Mikey has enjoyed it too, although hopefully he didn't listen too carefully to the rugby songs Grandad was singing instead of nursery rhymes! I think personally I'd prefer him to stick to the periodic table for now rather than Mary Had a Little Lamb in various versions....along with a few other songs I've managed to forget - along with some of the 'jokes' that came out!! Thankfully at 3 months he can't repeat anything yet or remember stuff!!!

Yesterday we stayed at home and then went to the Bluebell Childrens Centre - Mikey went into the creche and I'n doing a 2 hour art/craft course to give me a break! It was good fun and Mikey slept through his 2 hours without waking up once! Next week I will have to avoid feeding him just before we go! I think the nurses we a little disappointed he didn't wake up or need them this time... but I can't stand the screaming if you try to delay feeding him. And I thought his Dad was bad about feeling hungry!! One big plus about this course is you get lunch provided... considering when it's just me and Mikey I don't always get round to having lunch at all it's great to walk in and find it all waiting for you!! And the staff are constantly offering drinks etc so you can just relax and be you rather than being someones Mum!

A & E...ER....Casualty....ED

2010-09-12T15:24:00.000+01:00

I've just spent most of this morning in William Harvey as a patient of one of the above...whichever name is being used right now!

As I was walking out of the osteopaths office on Thursday I went over on my ankle, being me I pretty much ignored it and for the last few days the pain has increased until this morning when I could just about stand but walking was a real NO!

Dave kindly drove me ot the hospital so Mikey and Daddy stayed put! On arrival he blagged a wheelchair (Or I'd still be walking in to be honest) and I checked in and prepared myself for a long wait and some serious people watching! THe waiting area seemed pretty full and there was a steady stream of customers arriving - many seemed to be football injuries of the clashed heads and copious bleeding type... which didnt help me when another customer also in a wheel chair sat opposite me and proceeded to try to make herself throw up I nearly did just that for her from the noise she was making...

The staff we on fast forward mode today and I was called in very quickly and despatched for x-rays. I'd announced yesterday nothign was broken...it hurt rather than grated the way it did when I did break it! On arrival at x-ray I was taken straight in and 4 shots later it was all done and I was wheeled back to 'minors'
As predicted I haven't broken anything but I have torn the ligaments in and around my left ankle...which as he nurse happily pointed out will hurt more than breaking my ankle! Not exactly what I wanted to hear if I'm truthful! I was quickly issued with a pair of crutches (I only gave my last pair back earlier this year!) and shown how to walk and support my damaged foot correctly. I then returned to the waiting area to phone Andy to ask to be collected - easier said than done as he was feeding and changing Mikey so couldn't answer the phone! Once I got hold of him I escaped outside to the Ambulance bay to wait and get some freash air (and gaze at the air ambulance paramedics and pilot.... men in uniform, guaranteed to make a Heather feel much better!!)

Mikey was happily staying at home with Emma so it made Andy's trip to collect me much easier! He's also already spoken to my Mum and I'm going to work with him tomorrow and Mikey and I are spending the day with my parents! Cuts down the trips up and down stairs and so reduces stress on my ankle!

Cranial Osteopathy

2010-09-10T13:29:00.000+01:00

Mikey had his first appointment yesterday, and it's safe to say he adores Andrew who was working on him!! It appears that he is a little scrunched up/tight on the right hand side, possible due to his head engaging quite early and also the delivery taking a while and he did get a little distressed... (Cue Mum feeling very guilty...)

It is a strange experience for an on looker! Mikey was laid across our laps as we sat knee to knee and to be honest most of the time it was hard to see anything being done! But Mikey's face did show that he was enjoying it, although he also refused to let go of his SCBU dummy (it is his favourite, I dread to think what will happen when we have to throw it away) But I think I was almost as relaxed as Mikey was - Andrew has a very calming manner and makes you just relax! Maybe this is therapy for Mum and Baby!?!?!

We are going again next week, so we can have more work done on Mikey's back and neck and also check his skull bones positioning! I guess squishing through the birth canal can have a nasty effect on the poor little things and being a cowardly first time Mum I will do whatever it takes to look after/protect or make my gorgeous little boy feel better... and if I carry on like this I'll make myself cry again!

Life from now on gets a little busy! We have Mum & Baby group on Wednesdays, and from the 22nd we start a Baby massage course on Wednesdays as well! From next Friday I'm doing an Art/craft course whilst Mikey tries out a creche (new socialising experience for him) and next Thursday is Osteopathy... Not sure whan he'll fit in all his naps!!

Drs, immunisations and Mikey

2010-09-07T20:54:00.000+01:00

We finally got the 8 week immunisations done today! We started off with my post natal check - Mikey is only 11 + weeks now!! That was really a waste of time. It really felt as though everything I said was totally ignored/disregarded and unimportant, I got the idea quickly that I was just supposed to sit quietly, smile and agree with everything the Dr said to me.

Once he was satisfied that I was fine (whatever I thought!) we moved onto Mikey's check up. This involved Mikey being naked - I just left his nappy on until I had to remove it as I know my son is a great fountain when he wants to! I think Mikey has had a small growth spurt...he had grown 3 cm in length since last Wednesday and his head has also grown - I am so relieved it wasn't that size when I was trying to give birth to him! Weighing Mikey took a bit longer. The first attempt came out a kilo less that last week - There is no way he has lost weight (my bad back confirms that!) but by the third attempt we worked out that the scales were being held up at one end, making Mikey lighter than he really is! It turns out he has put another 200g on in the last 6 days - but it is fine to feed him as much as he wants as he could put more on if he wants to!

I was then allowed to re-dress Mikey and let reception know we had the all clear for the infamous jabs! Mikey settled in his car seat happily until we were called into the nurses room, he then decided he was a touch peckish! He soon started on his 4th bottle of the day, only pausing to scream as the first injection was done - but that stopped as I tried to remove his bottle! He did scream briefly when the second injection was given b ut again stopped as soon as Evil Mum tried to remove his bottle! We've now booked in for his second lot on 5th October...hopefully he will have forgiven me by then!

Life is due to start getting busy from next week...Friday I start an Art course designed ot help my post natal depression, the Wednesday after we start a baby massage course and at some point we will also sart to visit an Osteopath for some baby cranial massage to help Mikey relax and hopefully improve his colic/reflux (which the Dr today also ignored - plus he had never heard of this type of treatment!?!?! I'm a little concerned to be honest!!!)

3 Sept

2010-09-03T19:42:00.000+01:00

Today was Grandad's birthday so Mikey and I headed over to Medway once I had dragged myself out of bed and got us both into some clothes - luckily those can't be confused! Breakfast for Mikey had happened at 6am, but he wasn't finished yet and needed a top up before we left - which gave me time to wrap birthday presents as I wasn't very organised yesterday!

We had a slight delay for a quick bottle at 10 before hitting the M20! The trip was uneventful, and once we arrived the car had to be unloaded as we don't travel light these days! Grandad was given his birthday presents whilst Mikey had his first experience of singing happy birthday! I think the presents went down well as Grandad started eating his toblerone pretty much immediately!

Mikey had a great time, we had loads of smiles, lots of bouncing in his chair and major arm and leg waving thanks to his Fisher Price Camera from Auntie Nicky & Uncle Miff! I don't have a clue what it may be saying but he loves it! I think we are moving into the noisey toy stages now as they are far more fun for him! Thankfully the 2 he has do have off switches built in...failing that I may still need that sledge hammer I've been craving for the last 8 years! I just need a translator as the camera is talking away in Spanish and it lost me at Hola!

He's actually been awake for most of the day and has literally just fallen asleep! Typical as I want to feed him at 8 and then get him into bed! His last feed was at 4 so he can't go to bed yet... He's also been filling nappies regularly today, as well as watering the sofa at Nanny's (bless him!) and puking milk down Auntie Nicky so she had to go home and change her underwear! (Daddy is very proud of him!)

Stressy Driving

2010-09-02T22:37:00.000+01:00

I currently have a very ill hubby - man flu has struck and has left me in a very quiet house as the main symptom is a lost voice! Mikey is talking louder than Daddy at the moment!

This morning I was being a loving wife and heading for Boots to buy Strepsils (which I forgot to buy yesterday) and Mars Bars which are apparently essential mediation for Man Flu! As I drove slowly along Brookfield road I had to stop at the first set of lights, as I stopped a large gentleman in a high Vis waistcoat and a daft cap wobbled along the road on his bike. I was under the impression that traffic lights apply to cyclists as well as motorists but he jsut carried on pedaling and sailed straight through the lights. Once we law abiding motorists got moving again it was easy to see where he's got to because of the wide berth everyone gave him as we went past - I've never seen anyine stick their knees out so far before!

Driving back from Boots left me even more stressed. As I was crawling up to the Cow roundabout due to the road being taken down to 1 lane, I got increasingly annoyed by the number of driver who were screaming up the inside lane and then forcing their way into the other lane, thus slowing us down even though we'd been patiently working our way up the road. Once I got round the cow roundabout heading down to the tank roundabout there was the usual Ashford idiot turning right from the left hand lane...I will admit I used the acceleration on my little rocket to make sure they didn't get infront of me, by this point I'd had enough and just wanted to get home.

This evening we a big event in the Zerfahs household - we went out and left Mikey at home!! Not alone of course, he had his very first babysitter and I really hope he behaved himself for her! We saw 'Grown ups' Not a film you had to think about at all, but funny and really a good choice for our first trip out sans baby! I was not happy leaving him but I knew he was in safe hands, and I only checked my phone a couple of times...

10 week update!!

2010-08-29T11:14:00.000+01:00

It is hard to believe we've had Mikey for 10 weeks now - if I'm honest it feels far longer and it is hard to remember times without him he is such a part of our/my life now.

The sleep deprivation has improved beyond no end now - he can sleep for up to 7 hours on a good night and the coos and gurgles make even bad nights seem far more worth it! The last 2 weeks have been harder though because Mum, Dad, Nicky, Miff & Jake have been sunnoing themselves on a small boat somewhere off the coast of Italy... OK it was a huge cruise ship in the Med - The Independance of the Seas if you're interested... we're off to see Mum & Dad today, I'm not looking forward to the tans and I was not at all sympathetic that Rome was 42c - they chose to go there in August, what do they expect!!!!

We spent yesterday afternoon in Canterbury, Mikey and Andy supervised Grandad's cooking whilst Nanny Jan and I went clothes shopping - we may now have almost enough to get to Christmas and I can't wait for colder weather so I can dress him on some of the things we got yesterday! And knowing how he hates being changed/dressed I could have a few battles ahead! Kat may get jealous as he also now has a top with ears! I can get away with that now as he can't moan at me yet!

Sleepy times...

2010-08-18T15:16:00.000+01:00

The daily and night;y routine is starting to get a little easier, except when Mikey gets a little upset and won't settle! Monday night was one such episode as we ended up resorting to Calpol which finally got him to relax and go to sleep! I can honestly say that is is a wonderful invention and I can now see why so many friends with children swear by it! I'm never having a house without it from now on! After all the poor little thing can't tell me when something is hurting other than by screaming blue murder for 2-3 hours!

I have a feeling that Mikey has had a sort of bug this week as since Monday he has spent hours and hours each day fast asleep...more often than not whilst laid on me so just call me a cot from now on! But I guess I am reassuring or smell/sound safe to him so I'm not complaining, plus it gives me a valid excuse for cuddles! Not that I really need any excuse to be honest - plus the Dr told me to keep cuddling as it helps negate post natal depression!

We had a health visitor here on Monday - not our usual one as she is on the grandparent version of paternity leave as her daughter has had a little boy as well! Mikey got weighed again and has now reached 11lbs 3oz - and is staying on the centile line he started on (well slightly above it now) so 'they' are pleased with how he is doing - maybe we are getting things right at the moment... miracles have been known to happen after all!

Mikey is getting a little more talkative at the moment - it is wonderful to see him telling Andy all about his day when he gets home from Work. They lay on the floor together and Mikey tells him everything he's done (usually this is sleep!) and Andy listens really carefully. Father Son bonding is wonderful to witness....

Exploring times...

2010-08-14T19:41:00.003+01:00

Firstly I am sorry for any errors, but I am currently under a sleeping baby and my headache won't allow me to move him and his father has vanished!!!

Today we were intending to meet the mad cyclists at the pub in Brook, but Dave called earlier to say due to the forecast downpour there was a change of location! Thankfully he had a postcode and I managed to get the Sat Nav to work out a route!!! This was rather miraculous as I've never done that before!!!

Stage 1 was to load my car up.... small people do not travel lightly and I usually forget something! I strapped Michael into his chair and stuffed the nappy bag into the back of my car before wrapping the seatbelt round the baby!! I reactivated the voice on Brenda and set off...to be honest I had no idea where I was going, but I went anyway!!

Amazingly I didn't take any wrong turnings and arrived at the pub as the screaming started, but once we had transferred to the pushchair silence reined again!! We were first to arrive so I went to sample their OJ and perch on a stool awaiting team Styles! Once they arrived we move to the table and thanks to Dave we got the pushchair down the steps and 'parked' at the end of the table. The menu was on boards all around the room and was prett varied! I stuck to a burger and chips, Tina sampled the scampi, Kat demolished a large (massive) prawn cocktail, 2 others have the steak and ale pie whilst Dave opted for a baked marrow stuffed with pork and apricot! The food was fantastic, my burger was rather large and home made and decidedly tasty - and for £6.50 well worth the price! The dessert menu looked very tempting, but I was far too stuffed so passed this time , but I'm sure we'll be back there as the food really was that good!

I was impressed that someone didn't want feeding until I had eaten, once he had drained his bottle he retired to the other side of the table for a cuddle/snuggle with Tina (I know who to call for babysitting!!!)

6 August

2010-08-07T12:14:00.000+01:00

Got a real bargin today! Facebook has a local buy, sell, swap site and yesterday I was a travel cot on it... we got it for £10.00 and Andy picked it up this morning! We've had it open and it looks great - perfect condition and just what we need once someone gets more mobile!

This week has been better - we seem to have grasped the sleeping at night concept on one night we even slept for 7 hours!! Feeding has improved as well... hopefully we have really turned a corner and things will start to get easier/more simple!!

Next week is my last week for while having my Mum at the end of a phone, they are all off on a cruise in the Ned next week. I'm really going to miss them and to be honest feel a bit abandoned. I won't have Walderslade as an escape route until nearly the end of August... I'm also going to miss my daily chat with Mum, it's so nice to talk to an adult as Mikey isn't that vocal most of the time.

25 July...

2010-07-25T19:41:00.000+01:00

A view of the feet for Tina!!

This being a Mum is far harder than I expected - and I was tol some horror stories whilst I was pregnant! Michael is still of the opinion that sleep should happen during the day and the night is for keeping Mum and Dad wide awake instead.

I can now see why the CIA and other security services use sleep deprivation as a form of torture... I can report from my personal experience that it works! Andy (bless him) took care of Michael last night and I got 6 hours of sleep. It was fantastic but not enough... I still feel quite a way from being human again and having felt tired during my pregnancy I can now confirm that was not really tired! I could honestly now sleep for at least 24 hours, possibly more, if it was allowable/possible.

I'm not really moaning too much - I love him to bits and when he smiles at me it all seems to feel worth it... If only he would sleep at night it would be fantastic and I'm sure I would feel that I'm coping better than I do right now. At the moment I feel like a total failure and I'm sure there is something important that I'm not doing, my while life and being revolve around a small person who has managed to find the perfect pitch to scream at and create a 'wonderful' headache for me! I have been meaning to wash my hair for the last 3 days...it hasn't happened yet though and really needs to happen very soon...

Setting a Routine!?!?!?

2010-07-17T11:51:00.000+01:00

We actually had a pretty good night last night! No idea why - possibly the number of people Michael met yesterday wore him out!! It's looking as though we will ned to be out every day meeting people so he can sleep! And we can then sleep as well...should reduce the number of times I snap at people and hopefully seriously reduce the number of times I burst into tears for no real reason!

This week has had lots of firsts for Michael. He's been driven around by me for the first time - we made it to Nanny & Grandad on Tuesday perfectly safe but with a car packed full of stuff!! On Wednesday we made it into Ashford and had the pushchair in my car for the first time...both back seats down but we made it! The only problems we had were when we got back to the car and 2 other idiots had parked too close - I couldn't open the boot or get the push chair round the back of the car or open the passenger door to get Michael in... County Square need some parent and child spaces so people realise what they're doing.

Thursday was a quieter day - really grey, depressing and windy so the pair of us hibernated! I had no intention of getting us both wet and miserable! But I did end up feeling rather trapped stuck in the house...maybe I should work out how to use the rain cover this weekend! I'm just not sure if it will go over the car seat or if I'll have to wait until he graduates to the push chair proper!!

3 weeks and lack of sleep

2010-07-12T19:00:00.000+01:00

Well we've reached 3 weeks old... and if Michael doesn't start sleeping soon he may not make 4!!! (Only joking, honest!)

Michael did manage to let us have some sleep a week ago - but since then he's been impossible to wind and has been awake pretty much all night due to it. Yesterday I decided I'd had enough and having googled the problem decided that Infacol may help us out! So a quick trip to Tescos just before it closed and £2.69 later I had a magic bottle... Michael's face was a picture for the first dose, it was the first time he had tasted anything other than milk! I think he's getting used to it now, but does tend to screw his nose up after each dose, but on last nights showing it works so he'll just have to get used to it!

We had another visit from the Health Visitor today, she is really lovely and very supportive of me. Michael has out some more weight on and adding more may be easier now we've hopefully sorted the wind problem (at least reduced it!) But she is more worried about me than him right now. She is very worried about Post natal depression and the fact I'm just feeling very stressed and pressured right now. I'm also still very, very tearful so she is back next Monday to check me and talk through what support etc can be offered to me to help me cope with a baby and the way I seem to be feeling more and more. She is also following in Andy's footsteps with the constant nagging about eating - it may be a little easier now it's got cooler, rather than feeling as though I can't be bothered to eat I might even get round to it!

2 weeks old...

2010-07-06T18:02:00.000+01:00

Techically Michael should now be with us as he was due on 4th July! I have no problem with him being 2 weeks old now, at least our birthdays are seperated a little more than it originally appeared they would be!

I have been discargd by the midwife tem today, but I am allowed to still phone them in a panic up until Michael is 28 days old - after that I have to phone the Health Visitor as the midwives have no expertise re babies over 4 weeks old!!! Crazy or what!

The midwife I saw this morning gave me quite a talking to - I have to start being nice to myself as I'm at risk of running myself right into the ound and I'm increasing my risk of post natal depression. I'm already feeling that I'm failing Michael as I don't know how to stop him screaming at 3am and I have been told to stop thinking like that and that I'm still learning...and it can take several months for summer babies to learn that night time is for sleeping simply beause there isn't a long period of darkness over night!

But during daylight we have a very contented and laid back baby, not much phases him and this afternoonn he happily filled nappy after nappy! All I've done today is feed him and change him! He's had several major naps but I didn't manage to do the same...Oh I've also burst into tears for no reason on several occassions - stupid hormones have so much to answer for!

Problem No. 1

2010-06-30T18:30:00.000+01:00

Sunday night was a whole lot easier than I expected...but it turned out to be the calm before the storm! Michael and I were very bad and he spent most of the night sleeping on a pillow besde me in bed - but the Midwife on duty was checking up on us very frequently and I was so tired all I wanted to do was sleep!

As the morning went on I was amazed how quiet Michael was and how little he complained about anything, he certainly wasn't demanding food at any time which did start to worry me slightly. Eventually a Dr came to have a look at him, not sure who called him in but as it turns out it was the right move... His resp rate was too fast and they were concerned he didn't want to eat. He was whisked away for some blood tests and an X-ray...Andy went with him as I couldn't face seeing needles being jabbed into my baby.

Eventually the Dr returned with a couple of midwives/nurses and it was 'suggested' that he could do with an overnight stay in the Special Baby Care Unit. I tried to keep calm but it really wasn't easy. How dare they suggest that there was a problem with my baby??? Thankfully we had a wonderful nurse looking after me at that point, she just hugged me which was exactly what I needed at that point. About 20 minutes after Micheal was wheeled away she took both of us over to see him. Luckily it was very close to where I was and I was ready to get away from the ward as the bed opposite me had about 10 visitors making one hell of a noise, including a small child screaming constantly. My one redeeming thought was how much bigger than all the other babies Michael was, plus he was still in his plastic tray/crib and not an incubator. If they had put him in one of those I think I would have grabbed him and run.

The Special care nurse looking after him was lovely, and after I'd been moved to a side room that evening came in to find me and I was back in the unit that night feeding and cuddling him. That hardest thing for me was the thought that I felt sidelined - he wasn't my baby any more and had muh better/higher qualified people looking after him so didn't need me anymore.

From what I'd been told I was expecting Michael back on Tuesday morning...unfortunately that didn't happen as he started to turn orange - Jaundice. I also had this when I was born so by Tuesday afternoon he was esconced under a blue light with a mask over his eyes. By now I was stating to get closer to freaking out again...I remembered Andy getting 'annoyed' when I was ill 2 years ago - I went in with one thing and they kept finding more, which seemed to be what was happening with Michael.

By Wednesday the light had gone and Michael was moved into a different nursery - basically a HDU rather than ITU where he'd started. This made me feel slightly better until the consultant started talking about a 5 day antibiotic course which would keep him until Friday. I also managed to get really wound up by a midwife which resulted in me phoning Andy in a total panic and he had to come in and calm me down again...we both retreated to SCBU and just cuddled Michael - always a good thing. I think I got back to the ward just after midnight but was back in the SCBU just after 7 the following morning. I don't think I left there much after that - until I finally let a midwife examine me. The next thing I knew a Dr was checking me and I was then prescribed horsepill sized antibiotics as I had an infection and was running myself down as well.

Thankfully my wonderful staff nurse was back on duty and she kept both Andy and I sane for the next couple of days - especially when she told me my nemesis was not going to be on duty again that week. She got very good at finding me on SCBU when she needed to inject me or force me to take my horsepills!

By Saturday morning I was beginning to feel that we were never getting away - from the beginning of my pregnancy I'd been having nightmares where the hospital refused to let me take the baby home. It was starting to feel more and more real/likely and I was terrified. But the consulatant on duty over the weekend felt Michael was nearly ready to go (he had another session under the blue lights but his bilirubin levels started to fall nicely!) and I shoudl do one more night on the unit 'rooming in' once a room was free. Unfortunately no other baby got discharged so I stayed out where I was. By Sunday I was allowed to take him back with me to the ward to room in there with a view to going home on Monday!!!! I had the biggest grin ever at that point and poor Dr Martin nearly got flattened with a hug!

I can honestly say I hardly slept on Sunday night, I as far to busy watching Michael! I was totally packed by 6.30 Monday morning and ready to go home! All I needed was Michael to be checked and me discharged! Michael was 'done' by 11.00 and the Drs decided I was allowed to go - we then just waited to get my notes etc back and at 12 were told it would be 10-15 minutes... we left at about 1pm! But without the remainder of my antibiotics - Andy had to go back in the afternoon to pick those up! But Michael seemed to enjoy being in the car - no screaming or crying and we mastered fitting the seat fairly easily!

All Change for the next heaven knows how many years!

2010-06-29T18:33:00.000+01:00

On 20th June at 17.44 our son arrived! Michael Andrew Zerfahs weighed in at 7lbs 12 oz or 3510g.

The induction on the 19th worked very well, when it was done I was told they may have to repeat it on Sunday morning, but at 3am (it had to be!!!) my waters broke just as I got out of bed to go to the loo. Apparently this is quite rare as it was a real 'film moment' as I stood there leaking! I was fairly nice and waited until 4am before phoning Andy to tell him that things were underway and he might want to head into the hospital. I was very aware that it wasn't going to happen too quickly but being a coward I really was not enjoying the start of contractions and I wanted someone else there with me as I went through them!

I survived the contractions until just before lunch when I started demanding an epidural... I got gas and air which I really didn't like and was told they would sort out better pain relief once the bloke had finished in theatre. Pregnant women are not a priority and seeing as it was a Sunday I can only assume there must have been a real emergency!

Labour is a strange thing, was very aware of time passing but not how much really! People kept rying to give me food but I really was not interested in the slightest, Andy was encouraged to help me drink (as if he needs to be told to do that!) and Mel and Angela produced a straw to help him pour liquid into me! One thing I do remember is trying to get off the bed plus I tried to lock myself in a toilet for some reason... I did tell Angela I wouldn't give birth in there but the idea did start to appeal to me! I also had an overwhelming desire to lie on my right side - a big no no as the baby apparently doesn't like it, I think that was the point I just wanted to stop the whole thing and go back to bed for a nap and some peace and quiet!

Luckily I've managed to read the labour notes as I can't remember most of what happened in the afternoon...I vaguely remember being told about STAN which is some sort of computer which measures the baby through a clip placed on their head. A little easier to cope with when compared to the monitor I'd been attached to all day which as I wriggled kept losing the baby heartbeat etc.

Actually having the baby was tough...it turned out his head was a little on the large side and STAN kept warning of a few problems/issues. It was decided to use the Dyson to suck him out in the end - I had been moaning for a while that I was too tired to do the pushing thing anymore...At this point the room gained a Dr and another midwife which meant it felt decidedly crowded in there! Andy did vanish for a minute and returned waving a bar of Galaxy at the end of the bed. Much as I love him it was going to take a much bigger bar than that to make me keep pushing! I would think Star Trek technology shoul be worked on...transporting babies out of the womb would make the whole thing much easier/less painful and a whole lot less messy!

Once Michael had been sucked out I really have no idea what happened next!!!! I think I got injected to help the placenta to be delivered - and I did get a glimpse of it, not sure about Andy though! But once I'd had a baby placed in my arms I really didn't care what happened so long as nobody tried to take him away!

Mid week...

2010-06-16T17:57:00.000+01:00

I will admit that this week is really dragging... but yesterday I did think things might be moving but as per usual I was wrong! I woke up feeling very rough and kept getting a horrible pain across he bottom ot the bump - nothing else happened at all other than me just feeling cruddy (which I feel should be an official medical term!) and my blood sugar stayed low all day...not like me at all to be honest!

I also seem to be practising not sleeping again, I was up at 2.30 for the first bathroom trip of the day and it carried on from there. To keep this 'clean' it's safest to say I seem to be clearing out...which from our NCT class is to be expected but it is not something I'm enjoying (it still seems to be continuing today :( as well) All I want now is for this to start and get it done to be honest...

The local school seems to have had it's sports day today, and someone gave the PA to a very loud teacher, by mid afternoon I was seriously considering gatecrashing and stuffing his microphone somewhere that would hopefully make less noise! I've been very aware all day that the Blue team weren't doing very well whilst Red appear to have run away with things. 1 chil did manage to get hold of the microphone at one point and told his Mum that he loved her which was sweet, but the teacher got it back and carried on telling all the Kids to keep trying harder...

One thing I have oticed at the moment is I really don't have much patience with anything or anyone (sorry Andy) Whilst I still can I'm blaming hormones as I can't think of any other reasonfor being so grumpy right now (other than feeling so uncomfortable) Another thing that really isnt me is I realised yesterday it's only 20 odd days until my birthday - and I just can't get excited about it at all. To be honest I almost feel like not bothering with it this year...

Final Countdown....

2010-06-13T19:01:00.000+01:00

Well it's now just a week to go... Saw my midwife this morning and got the OK from her - although it was tough finding the baby's heatbeat as I was having a Braxton Hicks contraction at the time so she couldn't feel where the baby was! But she found it after I ended up flat on the floor...I really do resemble a beached whale in that position!! Thankfully I'm now 3/5 engaged so the baby is heading in the right direction all on his own, if I got into labour naturally this week Andy will not be a happy bunny, so far as he is concerned this baby is not due to make any kind of appearance until 23rd June and not a minute before!

We took the easy option for lunch and headed over to Chimneys... it was very good not to have to cook or tidy up afterwards and I got to eat what I wanted rather than what I should! But I DIDN'T have a dessert so I'm feeling very self rightous!! There was a small lecture from Nicki (the midwife) this morning about keeping up the good work for the last week to ensure the baby doesn't go into insulin over production once he is born - no way do I want to risk him being born with sugar cravings and have to go into the special care unit.

Once home I was rather torn...it was either a nap or I was feeling a real need to bake something! The baking won and I've made some scones...no cream available but I'm sure we have some jam somewhere! I have to admit that at the moment I'm more thirsy that hungry...probably due to having a baby squashed bladder which results in frequent trips to the bathroom as he objects to my bladder being filled at all! I must admit that being pregnant has taught me an awful lot more about my body than I knew before, even taking into account everything I've seen/learnt since 2008!

My ambition for 2011 is not to learn anymore about my physical make up! Plus I'm hoping that my trip to the neurologist on 1th July will result in me being signed off from his care as well! I know I haven't lost the weight he wanted me to, but hopefully I'll have a wonderful reason/excuse in a pushchair for not doing so... the last time I saw him I think I was literally 'just' pregnant so as far as I was concerned I was intending to lose more weight... but midwives don't like you to lose too much and get jumpy if you do!!!

Becoming more real...

2010-06-11T18:23:00.000+01:00

Andy had a day off today so this morning I phoned the hospital to try to get a tour of the labour/maternity wards sorted out. It took a while to get hold of the midwife I needed to talk to but as it was only 2 of us it was quickly agreed we could go straight in to have a look!

Once we got buzzed into the delivery suite we met a very nice lady, I have no idea what her name is but unfortunately she isn't on duty next weekend. At least we now know where we are going and it has been suggested we arrive at nearer to 7.45 as 7.30 is handover time and no Drs/Consultants will be around to decide how they are going to proceed once we're there! The delivery rooms look really nice and actually quite comfortable, they are painted either green, yellow or lilac...I'd prefer any except the last! Bit too feminine for me to be honest and far too close to pink! It is also reassuring how close the rooms are to the theatre bit if they are needed for any reason (I'm hoping I won't get to see that bit at all! - Although I would like to see Andy dressed in scrubs!)

Once we'd had a quick look in Maternity (it was pretty much full!) we retired to the coffee shop as I was hungry and aching! The midwife had been a little concerned I was going to start something early but to be honest at the moment every part of me aches and is extremely painful... he is great at sticking his elbows out as he spins on his head...bless him! I just hope he doesn't miss the spinning sensation too much! As I have no idea how we can even hope to recreate that for him once he's out...and I'm sure Health Visitors will frown upon head spinning as well!

My main feeling right now is how close and real it is all feeling now... but having seen a very pregnant woman walking up the hospital car park dragging a toddler by the hand whilst smoking heavily I've decided I am more than capable of doing this - and all I want to do now is cuddle my baby for the first time. I'm not sure if anyone else will be allowed to, I may let Andy have a cuddle, but I've been waiting for years for this to happen and having thought it never would I know I'm going to have real trouble ever letting go of him...

The end is in sight....

2010-06-08T19:12:00.000+01:00

It was Tuesday therefore it must be Ante natal clinic day! Andy had got the morning off to go with me - lucky really seeing as he's still driving my car around at the moment!! We got to the William Harvey just after 9.00 as I was doing my usual Tuesday morning wait for a blood test thanks to the ACC clinic! Amazingly they extracted my blood in time for me to check in at the Radiology desk for my 10.00 scan! Also, as per usual, we had to plod/waddle down to maternity for it - not nice when I know there are 2 machines nextoor to the clinic I was due back in during the morning!

The scan happened pretty much as soon as we got there and thankfully I didn't have ot have an internal one as was threatened! The placenta was found and has been classed as 'clear' which no doubt has added to Andy's notion that it resembles a jelly fish! Once we'd removed all the jelly from the bump it was time to waddle back to the clinic in Area A where I was quickly seen by the midwife...Blood pressure and Urine sample both fine and I have put a little weight on - but only what is expected! Well actually slightly less than they would expect so they were quite happy with me!

THe main thing that happens at the clinic is lots of waiting! But we got called by the Dr fairly quickly. Grumpy had a whinge about how long it take me to move... I'm getting better at ignoring it now! This was yet another new Dr to me and I pushed for an answer about when I was expected to hve this baby...Thankfully she wa sympathetic and we hve now been booked in to be induced on the 20th June! Father's Day - does this mean I don't have to buy Andy a present????? He He!!

I saw the Diabetes Team shortly after the Dr, and they are still pleased with me and the progress we've made! My HbA1c results have stayed at 6 for the last few months and I've avoided the need to be put on insulin and stayed on tablets! I'm now feeling rather proud of myself...

Overheating

2010-06-05T16:30:00.000+01:00

If I'm honest I've been dreading today most of this week...for once the Met office are right and it is 'Warm' (to quote the smug forecaster on BBC1 in his airconditioned studio) As my midwife has been telling me since November I am currently running at a degree or so hotter than I would normally and as such Warm weather makes me feel decidedly uncomfortable, grumpy and very short tempered (sorry to anyone who has been around me today, I'm really not nice to live with at the moment)

As usual Andy had the Gro Egg hermometer thing in our bedroom last night, when I gave up and went to bed it was glowing orange but quickly switched to red and it was 24.5 c in there - far too hot for me to sleep and it will be far to hot for a baby too. Does anyone have any ideas how we are supposed to cool the bedroom down? We had both windows wide open and a fan going but neither seemed to be helping...

Once I finally dragged myself out of bed this morning I went straight into the nursery and started sorting some of the boxes of clothes out... it is really scary getting all this ready but after my couple of hours of contractions on Wednesday I'm really starting to realise that the arrival is getting closer and closer and we need to be ready (or as ready as I ever will be) sooner rather than later! I've even more or less packed the imfamous hospital bag - but I will have a chat with Nicki next Sunday about what should really be in there! Knowing me I've stuffed a load of things in that I won't need at all while I'm in hospital! It looks as though I won't be in that long as they tend to get you out asap once the baby has arrived! I just need to make sure it isn't before the 9th June as we wont get the car seat until then so couldn't bring the baby home!!!

The moses basket has now arrived but isn't actually here yet...probably a good thing as we on't have space in our bedroom at the moment! I think a load more clothes are going to get vaccuum packed and end up in the loft to clear the spac that is currently my Floordrobe! Once the temperature goes down I'll get stuck into clearing/sorting that, but at the moment there is no chance of it happening as I'm exhausted within minutes and when I get that tired the bump retaliates! Which he has just done...how did he know I was writing about him????? This is getting spooky!

A waiting day...week...etc

2010-06-02T16:46:00.000+01:00

I have been meaning to update over the last few days but for some reason I simply haven't got around to it - not through being rushed off my feet but more down to being totally exhausted all the time.

I think the party went well on Saturday, it was so nice to actually see people for once! Much as I wasn't enjoying work towards to end it did at least mean I saw people every day...OK, most of them didn't talk to me but they were still company! It was also good to have a laugh at the expense of Europe, I know many (most) European countries take the contest a little more seriously that the UK does and the political voting still makes me chuckle, but it was good to watch with a group of friend who treat the who thing with the disrespect I feel it deserves!!!

Sunday morning arrived far too quickly and the painting in the nursery started and the clearing out of the kitchen, until 11.00 when my midwife arrived. The bump and I got a clean bill of health - what was really amazing was how 'normal' my blood pressure was!! The baby partly helped when Nicki was listening to his heartbeat but then moved so it vanished totally! Bless him!

I'm still being woken in the early hours of every morning...usually to dash into the bathroom before someone goes into wriggle mode which means falling asleep again isn't going to happen! I was contemplating my ankles at 4.32 on Monday morning mainly as I could see ankles rather than cankles for once! This morning I was woken at 3.10am and I had intended ot have an afternoon nap, but Mum & Dad popped in so that went out of the window!!! Maybe I'll try to have an early night and hope I get a few hours before the bladder bouncing starts again! Even Andy could feel hw violent the movements were last night - I can honestly say I feel bruised at the moment and I can't wait to get through the next 3 weeks!!!

Eurovision 2010

2010-05-28T13:15:00.000+01:00

We are having our Eurovision party tomorrow so I've been trying to build up/store some sleep so I can survive the 3 hour marathon! I didn't drag myself downstairs until just after 10 this morning and I'm already exhausted... so I guess it'll be another early night tonight if I manage to get comfy! This hasn't happened much recently and I simply keep waking up at silly times. Last night was 1.30am, 5.30am and not much sleep between them.

I have to admit to having no real ideas food wise other than I want pate and french bread. Which I'm not allowed to eat but I have missed it so much! One thing I may do is have a glass of wine...our NCT teacher said one glass can't hurt and it it calms my dancing bump down I'll be a happy Mum!! To be honest he's much better as creasting heartburn at the moment - Maybe it's the lack of room that has calmed to movements down, athough every so often he seems to just want to move and nothing is going to stop him! Somehow I get the feeling we're going to have one very determined child to cope/deal with!

The last Eurovision party we actaully managed to have was back in 2007... I sort of messed up the 2008 plans by being in a coma at the time and last year we were in Oslo at the time - sort of Ironic seeing as that is where the Final is coming from this year! I have to admit I loved Oslo, we saw it in the sun/heat and the rain and it looked good in both! I'm relieved that is isn't as hot as it was on the 17th May last year - no way could I cope with that much heat/sun right now!

Once I get through this weekend (I am looking forward to it, honest!) my next target is Fathers Day... I have bought my darling Andy a present in the past, but in the last few years I was so sure it would never happen I have avoided it like the plague - but now he is already a Dad whether the baby is here or not and I want to celebrate the fact. Also I feel he has missed so much, he can't feel when the baby moves etc and even telling him is usually too late as the movement stops as soon as I say anything!

Braxton Hicks

2010-05-25T19:32:00.000+01:00

I've been suffering from these all day today...I'm really not enjoying it and I'm fairly sure the baby isn't either. It possibly hasn't helped that today was my Aunt's funeral up in Yorkshire and I really wanted to be there - but it wasn't my choice and I was told in no uncertain terms, immediately after I'd heard she'd died, that I wasn't going. To be perfectly honest the way I've felt today I can understand why the decision was made, but it hurt that it wasn't a decision I made...

That sounds quite silly to me reading it back but I know how I feel and I loved my Aunt, she used to tell me that she loved me and that is something I am really going to miss - and I hate that I haven't been able o say goodbye in the way I would want to. As she is being cremated I can't even go to a grave later - although I'm not sure what is going to happen to her ashes -maybe there will be a grave of some description...

Today has been quite a bit cooler than yesterday - one thing I am very grateful for! Andy (bless him) put the baby room thermometer in our bedroom last night, I wish he hadn't as it glowed red as it was far too hot in there and we are really going to have to keep it cooler once there are 3 of us sleeping in there... I did notice that Andy escaped downstairs at around 3am when I was up for the 2nd or 3rd time. When he left for work I was simply ready to sleep for a few more hours, but then the BH contractions started so I gave up on sleep and went downstairs to sit in front of the tower fan again (where I still am as I'm still feeling far too hot)

Tomorrow a group of Mums to be from our ante natal class are off to 'Bumps & Babes' but are meeting in Starbucks at 9.00 before hand! So no lie in possible for tomorrow, I just hope the bump behaves itself...I know I was worried on Sunday when he didn't move much, but after today I would really appreciate a calm day! But then again if he is too quiet I'll only worry again!!

34 Weeks

2010-05-23T22:27:00.000+01:00

Possibly we only have 4 weeks left seeing as I was told at the end of last year that I would only be allowed to go to 38 weeks...but then again since then we've had a few scares and it really hasn't been mentioned much since! But hopefully after the scan on 8th June we should have a clearer idea of what, how and when! Alhough having been talked through a C Section at the ante natal class yesterday I really would prefer to avoid that unless it is totally needed... but the baby comes first and if there is a problem and that is the safest way for him to arrive then that is what will happen.

I've been shopping this afternoon...a major trip to Mothercare! We pretty much filled my car again and Andy has a baby monitor to play with now! We also now have new baby sized nappies so I won't need duct tape to stop them falling off the baby!! Also Andy has 'proper' bottles to steralise rather than trying to do that to water bottles and melting them! I guess it is all becoming much more real now...we're almost prepared for a small person to move in... the moses basket is on order, the pushchair is arriving on 9th June and we've bought the top & tail bowl as we can't bath him for the first week... I guess it's time to read Dr Spock as I have no idea how to do that!

Probably time for bed now...my ankles are turning into cankles righ now and I'm ready for a sleep before I get woken at 3am as usual for the early morning bathroom dash!

2 days running!!!

2010-05-20T16:51:00.000+01:00

This is not like me to blog 2 days running...and to be perfectly honest there really isn't much going on in Heather World right now but here goes!!!

This morning was my weekly midwife check up day - they are wonderful people who come to me which means I don't endanger the population of Ashford by being let lose with a mechanical killing/maiming machine (aka a car!)

Today I got to meet a different midwife as poor Nicki was rushing around like a proverbial headless chicken! Bev was really sweet and as Nicki told me by phone much quieter than her!! But she still had to report back to Nicki once she'd checked me and the baby and Nicki is back next week...Sunday morning after the Eurovision party!!! So hopefully we won't make too much mess to have to clear once I drag myself out of bed on Sunday morning! Today I got patted on the head and pretty much had a glowing report - my blood pressure wasn't as good as it has been but it is nowhere near being considered a problem or high so I just have to carry on doing whatever it is I am doing! When I was trying to get up this morning Idid experience a horrible pain in my pelvis, when I mentioned this I got well prodded to try and find where the baby was and it is apparently him trying to get his head engaged... next stage labour!!!! It usually causes quick 'flashes' of pain which finish very quickly and it is basically the baby shuffling around! I just hope he gets sorted quickly as I can honestly say it really did hurt this morning and it isn't the way I like to be woken up at the moment!!

One other bit of excitement today was the arrival of my new phone...all I can say at the momeont is it looks very nice, as it will take about 48 hours for it to be fully connected for some reason. As I only have one sim card it is now in the new phone so I'm fairly unreachable right now as it isn't recognising the sim so I'm not getting any messages etc!! I'm currently charging the battery and I may even read the instruction book at some point... but to be honest it isn't very Heather friendly as it is mostly black printed on Grey and is not eye friendly or laid ou in a clear/helpful way - but I'm sure if I just play I'll work it all out! What is good is that it fits into the case I have for the current phone, and even though that has 'Sony' Plastered on it at least the touch screen will be protected on the new one! Well it is only 40is days until my birthday... Andy if you're reading this that is called a subtle hint!!! I've also just though I can add the 'mobile jewellery' that Nicky brought me from Disney last year to my new phone - that will help make it more mine/unique!!

I need sleep...

2010-05-19T15:46:00.000+01:00

I think I'm in training for my sleepless nights at the moment...3.06am this morning someone decided that his mother should be up and around!! I think he was bouncing his head on my bladder and it is safe to say that my joints were not in a fit state to move at any kind of speed!

So far this week has been pretty quiet - just what I need really. I have to admit I am having lot sof naps as something (or someone) is sapping all my energy... but I know it will all be worth it in the end. All I can say is I now know God is male - no woman woul have ever agreed that pregnancy should be this long! And the more I think about it the more I want to come back as a Seahorse! The males look after the babies - or we should be redesigned with a Kangeroo pouch so the child/baby care/carrying can be shared! I do feel envious (or at times guilty) that Andy has missed out on feeling the baby move around and grow. I guess in a way I'm already bonding with him as I feel him move - I have an idea of what sort of music calms him and what he enjoys (he can make that very clear!!) so I feel as though I almost know him... I really can't wait to meet him now :)

I wonder how old he will be before his father starts brainwashing him with Star Trek! Thankfully I haven't seen any baby uniforms anywhere...and no way am I letting ridges be added to his head poor little mite!!! But I do know a tricorder and a phaser have been kept for him so I guess the inititation will start asap!!

At the moment I'm watching the Classical Brits from alst night - and I think he's quite enjoying the Strauss! I have no problem using classical music to send him to sleep, maybe once he has a passport I'll have to take him to Vienna (somewhere I've always wanted to visit) Maybe I could even convnce Andy to dance with me!! He never has on any of the cruises we've done, the only time I've ever danced on a cruise was in 2000 with my Dad!!! Myleene Klass appears to be wearing a Turkey as a dress! Although having watched Heston's Ultimate Feast last night I dread to think what may have been combined in her dress!

I got quite excited this morning - I found a top I've never worn before and it fits!!!! The only problem is it has horizontal stripes and the bump looks even bigger in them than in a 'normal' top! But I guess I am quite proud of it - after all I'v spent the last few years trying to convince myself that it would never happen to me. I'm still blaming the consultant who sorted out my Kidney stone(s) as I'm sure he must have zapped something else with his laser! Failing that I'm blaming Switzerland! The day the stone(s) were sorted was the first time they tried the big collider machine so it could also be their fault!!! Mind you the treatment they started me on for diabetes is also used as an infertility treatment, but the chances are I was already pregnant before I started taking Metformin!! Maybe someone up there finally decided it was my turn!!!

I've just seen one of my favourite compsers has a new album out...Amazon Wish list here it comes! Einaudi is another composer the baby enjoys and hs music seems to invoke sleep - One day I may even hear the whole album as my usual reaction is to relax and fall asleep by track 3!!! I don't think he appreciates Sopranos though, he's just given me on hell of a kick as one has started screeching an aria from Madam Butterfly!